TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture,being sure to explain how they respond to the specific concerns expressed in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 5 组织: 4 连贯与衔接: 4 语言使用: 4

2.预估分数

26. 3.任务完成度

你的文章很好地完成了任务要求，阅读和听力材料中的观点都得到了很好的总结和对比。为了进一步提高文章质量，可以尝试更详细地解释听力中提到的反驳观点，以便让读者更清楚地理解它们。

示例1： 原文：However, the lecturer refutes this claim by stating that common carp in Australia are not typically consumed by humans due to their unpalatable taste. 改进：However, the lecturer refutes this claim by stating that common carp in Australia are not typically consumed by humans due to their unpalatable taste, which makes it difficult to increase the demand for carp and promote commercial fishing as a solution.

示例2： 原文：Consequently, the poisoned bait may remain in the waterways and eventually leak toxins into the water, potentially harming native fish species rather than reducing carp numbers. 改进：Consequently, the poisoned bait may remain in the waterways and eventually leak toxins into the water, potentially harming native fish species rather than reducing carp numbers, as they would be exposed to these harmful substances without any significant impact on carp populations.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中在一个具体的观点和支持细节上。但是，在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。

建议1： 在引言部分，可以使用过渡词汇，如“然而”或“相反”，以强调阅读和听力材料之间的对比。

示例1： 原文：The reading passage presents three potential methods for reducing carp populations in Australian waters, while the lecture offers counterarguments to these points. 改进：The reading passage presents three potential methods for reducing carp populations in Australian waters; however, the lecture offers counterarguments to these points.

建议2： 在正文段落中，使用过渡词汇来引导读者从一个观点转向另一个观点。

示例2： 原文：In addition, the lecturer disputes the reading passage's claim that using poisoned bait could effectively target and eliminate carp populations. 改进：Furthermore, the lecturer disputes the reading passage's claim that using poisoned bait could effectively target and eliminate carp populations.

5. 语法批改

The reading passage presents three potential methods for reducing carp populations in Australian waters, while the lecture offers counterarguments to these points.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that commercial fishing could be a viable solution to decrease carp populations. However, the lecturer refutes this claim by stating that common carp in Australia are not typically consumed by humans due to their unpalatable taste. Instead, they are primarily used as a protein source for farm animals. The demand for carp as animal feed has already been met in Australia, making it unlikely that commercial fishing would significantly reduce carp numbers.

In addition, the lecturer disputes the reading passage's claim that using poisoned bait could effectively target and eliminate carp populations. The professor argues that carps possess an acute sense of smell, enabling them to detect toxins and avoid consuming poisoned bait. Consequently, the poisoned bait may remain in the waterways and eventually leak toxins into the water, potentially harming native fish species rather than reducing carp numbers.

Lastly, the lecturer challenges the reading passage's assertion that genetic engineering could be employed to decrease female carp populations. The professor highlights that healthy pet carps can continue laying eggs and maintain high population levels. For instance, many Australians keep colorful varieties of pet carps in backyard pondsponds,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which may escape into nearby waterways during floods or heavy rains. Once released into the wild, these pet carps breed with invasive carps and introduce healthy genes back into the population, ensuring female offspring continue to be produced and lay numerous eggs.

6.文章修订

The reading passage delineates three potential strategies for mitigating carp populations in Australian waters, whereas the lecture presents counterarguments to these propositions.

Initially, the reading passage posits that commercial fishing could serve as an effective solution to diminish carp populations. Contrarily, the lecturer contends that common carp in Australia are not typically consumed by humans due to their unpalatable taste. Consequently, they are primarily utilized as a protein source for farm animals. The demand for carp as animal feed has already been satisfied in Australia, rendering it improbable that commercial fishing would substantially reduce carp numbers.

Moreover, the lecturer disputes the reading passage's assertion that deploying poisoned bait could efficiently target and eradicate carp populations. The professor argues that carps possess an acute olfactory sense, enabling them to detect toxins and circumvent consuming poisoned bait. As a result, the poisoned bait may persist in waterways and eventually release toxins into the water, potentially jeopardizing native fish species rather than curtailing carp numbers.

Lastly, the lecturer challenges the reading passage's claim that genetic engineering could be employed to decrease female carp populations. The professor underscores that healthy pet carps can continue laying eggs and maintaining high population levels. For instance, numerous Australians keep vibrant varieties of pet carps in backyard ponds which may escape into proximate waterways during floods or heavy rains. Once released into the wild, these pet carps interbreed with invasive carps and reintroduce healthy genes into the population, ensuring female offspring persist in being produced and lay copious eggs. (252 words)

7.文章批改

The reading passage presents delineates (revised for a more formal word choice) three potential methods for reducing strategies for mitigating (revised to use a more advanced vocabulary) carp populations in Australian waters, while whereas the lecture offers presents counterarguments to these points. propositions (revised for better coherence).

Firstly, Initially, the reading passage suggests posits that commercial fishing could be a viable serve as an effective solution to decrease diminish (revised for a more advanced vocabulary) carp populations. However, Contrarily (revised for smoother transition), the lecturer refutes this claim by stating contends that common carp in Australia are not typically consumed by humans due to their unpalatable taste. Instead, Consequently, they are primarily used utilized as a protein source for farm animals. The demand for carp as animal feed has already been met satisfied (revised for better clarity) in Australia, making rendering it unlikely improbable that commercial fishing would significantly substantially reduce carp numbers.

In addition, Moreover, the lecturer disputes the reading passage's claim that using assertion that deploying poisoned bait could effectively efficiently target and eliminate eradicate (revised to use more advanced vocabulary) carp populations. The professor argues that carps possess an acute olfactory sense of smell, (revised for better clarity and vocabulary), enabling them to detect toxins and avoid circumvent consuming poisoned bait. Consequently, As a result, the poisoned bait may remain in the persist in waterways and eventually leak release toxins into the water, potentially harming jeopardizing native fish species rather than reducing curtailing (revised to use a more advanced vocabulary) carp numbers.

Lastly, the lecturer challenges the reading passage's assertion claim that genetic engineering could be employed to decrease female carp populations. The professor highlights underscores (revised for a more formal word choice) that healthy pet carps can continue laying eggs and maintain maintaining high population levels. For instance, many numerous Australians keep colorful vibrant varieties of pet carps in backyard ponds which may escape into nearby proximate waterways during floods or heavy rains. Once released into the wild, these pet carps breed interbreed with invasive carps and introduce reintroduce healthy genes back into the population, ensuring female offspring continue to be persist in being produced and lay numerous eggs.copious eggs (revised for better clarity and vocabulary).

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Reading passage: potential strategies
  • Lecture: counterarguments

• Commercial Fishing

  • Reading: viable solution
  • Lecture: unpalatable taste, animal feed demand met

• Poisoned Bait

  • Reading: effective targeting of carp
  • Lecture: acute olfactory sense, jeopardizing native fish species

• Genetic Engineering

  • Reading: decrease female carp populations
  • Lecture: pet carps, reintroduction of healthy genes

9.关键词