TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on governments’ strategies. Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response you should: • express and support your opinion • make a contribution to the discussion An effective response will contain at least 100 words. You will have 10 minutes to write it.

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

整体而言，你的文章回答了问题并提供了有力的论据。然而，有一些方面可以改进。首先，在回答问题时，尽量避免重复已经在阅读材料中提到的观点。其次，你可以在论证中加入更多具体的例子和细节来支持你的观点。

示例1：为了支持灵活工作时间对公司有益，你可以提到一些研究或数据，如员工满意度调查结果或生产力提高的统计数据。 示例2：在讨论灵活工作时间可能带来的问题时，可以考虑其他因素，如员工之间的沟通和协作问题，并给出具体解决方案。

4. 文章结构与组织

从结构和组织方面来看，你的文章基本上符合要求。然而，在文章开头部分，建议加入一个简短的引言来概括主题和你将要讨论的观点。此外，在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。

建议1：在文章开头加入一个引言，如：“在讨论灵活工作时间的利弊时，我倾向于支持克莱尔的观点，认为这种政策对员工和公司都有益。” 建议2：在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，如：“此外”、“然而”或“总之”，以提高文章的连贯性。

5. 语法批改

While the viewpoint proposed by Paul makes sense to some content, I tend to agree with Claire’s opinion that flexible schedules have a big advantage for employees.
Apart from what Claire has raised, I would like to add is that having a flexible schedule can cope with some troubles without losing working time. For example, a woman with a little boy who needs to be sendsent(can be access (accessed)) to school in every weekday morning. Since the time of working and the child’s school time collide, sheshe is(missing verb between 'it' and adjective) always late to work, as Claire mentioned. In consequence, flexible schedules can help employees to modulate working time and enhance their work efficiency. In addition, having a flexible schedule can give employees an opportunity to develop their abilities. In nowadaysNowadays(Wrong phrase: 'in nowadays' (nowadays)) society, all-round development of talents is more adaptive and competitive than others. Advanced companies always need to attract more partners to expend their market share. People with good eloquence and communication skills will be more advantageous to cooperate with other companies. As a result, flexible schedule not only cultivate employees but also benefit for companies. To sum up, I firmly believe that the advantage of implementing flexible schedule policy outweighs the disadvantage for both employees and companies.

Title: 6 文章修订

While Paul's viewpoint holds merit, I am inclined to agree with Claire that flexible schedules offer significant advantages for employees.

Building upon Claire's argument, I would like to emphasize that flexible schedules can help employees address personal commitments without sacrificing work time. For instance, a mother who needs to drop her child off at school every weekday morning may struggle with a rigid schedule. Flexible work hours allow her to balance her personal and professional responsibilities, ultimately enhancing her work efficiency.

Moreover, flexible schedules provide employees with opportunities for personal growth and skill development. In today's competitive landscape, well-rounded individuals with diverse talents are highly sought after by companies looking to expand their market share. Employees who possess strong communication skills and eloquence are particularly valuable in forging partnerships with other organizations. Consequently, a flexible schedule not only fosters employee growth but also benefits the company as a whole.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the advantages of implementing a flexible schedule policy far outweigh the disadvantages for both employees and companies. (175 words)

While the Paul's viewpoint proposed by Paul makes sense to some content, holds merit (revised for clarity and natural tone), I tend am inclined to agree with Claire’s opinion Claire that flexible schedules have a big advantage for employees. offer significant advantages for employees (revised for natural tone and conciseness).

Apart from what Claire has raised, Building upon Claire's argument (revised for natural tone), I would like to add is emphasize that having a flexible schedule can cope with some troubles without losing working time. For example, a woman with a little boy who needs to be send to school in every weekday morning. Since the time of working and the child’s school time collide, she always late to work, as Claire mentioned. In consequence, flexible schedules can help employees to modulate working address personal commitments without sacrificing work time and enhance their (revised for clarity). For instance, a mother who needs to drop her child off at school every weekday morning may struggle with a rigid schedule (revised for clarity and natural tone). Flexible work efficiency. hours allow her to balance her personal and professional responsibilities, ultimately enhancing her work efficiency (revised for clarity).

Moreover, flexible schedules provide employees with opportunities for personal growth and skill development (revised for clarity and conciseness). In addition, having a flexible schedule can give employees an opportunity to develop their abilities. In nowadays society, all-round development of today's competitive landscape, well-rounded individuals with diverse talents is more adaptive and competitive than others. Advanced are highly sought after by companies always need to attract more partners to expend looking to expand their market share. People with good eloquence and share (revised for natural tone). Employees who possess strong communication skills will be more advantageous to cooperate and eloquence are particularly valuable in forging partnerships with other companies. As a result, organizations (revised for clarity). Consequently, a flexible schedule not only cultivate employees fosters employee growth but also benefit for companies. benefits the company as a whole (revised for conciseness).

To sum up, In conclusion, I firmly believe that the advantage advantages of implementing a flexible schedule policy outweighs far outweigh the disadvantage disadvantages for both employees and companies.companies (maintained original structure while revising slightly for clarity).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Paul's viewpoint
   - Agree with Claire
   - Flexible schedules advantages

2. Address personal commitments
   - Example: mother dropping child off at school
   - Balance personal and professional responsibilities
   - Enhance work efficiency

3. Personal growth and skill development
   - Competitive landscape
   - Well-rounded individuals with diverse talents
   - Strong communication skills and eloquence

4. Benefits for the company
   - Forge partnerships with other organizations

5. Conclusion
   - Advantages outweigh disadvantages for employees and companies

Title: 9 关键词