TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on environmental science. Write a post responding to the professor's question.
真实用户提交的答案,配合AI智能评估与反馈
共有 1 份用户提交的样本
开始免费练习题目概览
Professor
Nowadays, the world is facing a number of pressing environmental problems,and over the next few weeks, we'll be discussing various innovations that may help solve these problems. To begin our discussion, I'd like you to think of one global environmental problem — — for example, it could be related to water,air,land,climate, biodiversity,energy,or something similar.Then explain what you think would be an effective solution to this problem.
Student A
One of the major environmental problems is the limited freshwater supply in many areas of the world,which means that we need to find effective technologies to provide people with enough drinking water. One solution is to improve the technology for removing salt from seawater,which could allow us to use seawater to replenish dwindling freshwater supplies.
Student B
I think the biggest problem is the air pollution caused by the overuse of motorized vehicles. The obvious solution is for local governments to promote alternatives,like building bike lanes in cities or improving public transportation with electric buses. Both of these would be easy to implement as well.
用户样本与评估结果
用户样本
I think one of the major environment problems is the overuse of plastics. Plastic products are ubiquitous in our daily life, such as plastic bags in the supermarket, plastic takeout containers and plastic packaging outside our commercial products. Admittedly, the invention of plastic bring convenience to our life, but overuse of it adds burden to our environment because it takes more than a hundred years for the earth to degrade plastic. One of the solutions is substituting plastic products for recycle materials. For example, nowadays we can have a discount in coffee shop if we bring our own bottle instead of using the plastic container provided by the shop, which is the effort they make to cut down the use of plastic products. Furthermore, as the technology have rapidly developed, the manufacture of degradable plastic is surging up. If governments can subsidize those enterprises whose usage of degradable plastic have reached specific proportion, more enterprises will be apt to use more environmentally-friendly materials, which is not only profitable but also beneficial to our earth. Therefore, by combining these two methods, the use of plastic materials will dwindle, and the impact on environment is able to be minimized.
评估结果
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5
-
Language Use and Grammar: 4.5
2. 预估分数
- Estimated Score: 28
3. 任务完成度
整体来说,这篇文章很好地回应了教授的问题,并提出了一个相关的环境问题以及解决方案。为了进一步改进,可以在论述解决方案时提供更多具体的细节和例子。此外,尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构,以增强文章的表达力。
Example 1: Instead of "One of the solutions is substituting plastic products for recycle materials.", you could write "One effective solution would be to replace single-use plastic products with more sustainable, recyclable materials."
Example 2: Instead of "If governments can subsidize those enterprises whose usage of degradable plastic have reached specific proportion, more enterprises will be apt to use more environmentally-friendly materials.", you could write "If governments provide subsidies to companies that utilize a significant proportion of biodegradable plastics in their production processes, it would encourage more businesses to adopt eco-friendly materials."
4. 文章结构与组织
文章的结构和组织方面表现良好,包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论了一个特定的观点,并提供了支持细节。然而,在段落之间加入更明确的过渡句可以使文章更连贯。
Example 1: Add a transition sentence between the first and second paragraphs: "While both students A and B have presented valid concerns, I would like to focus on another pressing issue: the overuse of plastics."
Example 2: Add a transition sentence between the second and third paragraphs: "In addition to promoting reusable containers, we can also explore advancements in biodegradable plastic technology."
5. 语法批改
I think one of the major environment problems is the overuse of plastics. Plastic products are ubiquitous in our daily life, such as plastic bags in the supermarket, plastic takeout containers and plastic packaging outside our commercial products. Admittedly, the invention of plastic bring convenience to our life, but overuse of it adds burden to our environment because it takes more than a hundred years for the earth to degrade plastic.
One of the solutions is substituting plastic products for recycle materials. For example, nowadaysnowadays,(Comma after 'nowadays) we can have a discount in coffee shop if we bring our own bottle instead of using the plastic container provided by the shop, which is the effort they make to cut down the use of plastic products.
Furthermore, as the technology have rapidly developed, the manufacture of degradable plastic is surging up. If governments can subsidize those enterprises whose usage of degradable plastic have reached specific proportion, more enterprises will be apt to use more environmentally-friendly materials, which is not only profitable but also beneficial to our earth.
Therefore, by combining these two methods, the use of plastic materials will dwindle, and the impact on environment is able to be minimized[No Replacement Word Found](to be able to + 'passive voice').
Title: 6 文章修订
One of the most pressing environmental issues we face today is the overuse of plastics. These products are pervasive in our daily lives, ranging from plastic bags at supermarkets to takeout containers and packaging for consumer goods. While plastics have undoubtedly brought convenience to our lives, their excessive use places a significant burden on our environment due to their lengthy degradation process, which can take centuries.
A viable solution to this problem is replacing plastic products with recyclable materials. For instance, some coffee shops now offer discounts to customers who bring their own reusable bottles instead of using disposable plastic containers. This encourages a reduction in plastic usage and promotes eco-friendly practices.
Additionally, advances in technology have led to the development of biodegradable plastics. Governments could incentivize businesses to adopt these environmentally-friendly materials by providing subsidies to those that meet specific criteria for biodegradable plastic usage. This approach would not only be profitable for companies but also beneficial for the planet.
By implementing these strategies in tandem, we can significantly reduce our reliance on traditional plastic materials and minimize their detrimental impact on the environment. (188 words)
I think one of the major environment problems Revised essay: Title: 7 文章批改
One of the most pressing environmental issues (revised for clarity and emphasis) we face today is the overuse of plastics. Plastic These products are ubiquitous pervasive (changed for better word choice) in our daily life, such as lives, ranging from plastic bags in the supermarket, plastic at supermarkets to takeout containers and plastic packaging outside our commercial products. Admittedly, the invention of plastic for consumer goods. While plastics have undoubtedly brought convenience to our lives, their excessive use places a significant burden on our environment due to their lengthy degradation process (rephrased for clarity), which can take centuries.
A viable solution to this problem is replacing plastic products with recyclable materials (rephrased for clarity). For instance, some coffee shops now offer discounts to customers who bring convenience to our life, but overuse of it adds burden to our environment because it takes more than their own reusable bottles instead of using disposable plastic containers (revised for better flow). This encourages a hundred years for the earth to degrade plastic. ¶ One of the solutions is substituting plastic products for recycle materials. For example, nowadays we can have a discount in coffee shop if we bring our own bottle instead of using the plastic container provided by the shop, which is the effort they make to cut down the use of plastic products. ¶ Furthermore, as the reduction in plastic usage and promotes eco-friendly practices.
Additionally, advances in technology have rapidly developed, the manufacture of degradable plastic is surging up. If governments can subsidize led to the development of biodegradable plastics (rephrased for clarity). Governments could incentivize businesses to adopt these environmentally-friendly materials by providing subsidies to those enterprises whose that meet specific criteria for biodegradable plastic usage of degradable plastic have reached specific proportion, more enterprises will be apt to use more environmentally-friendly materials, which is (revised for better flow). This approach would not only be profitable for companies but also beneficial to our earth. ¶ Therefore, by combining for the planet.
By implementing these two methods, the use of strategies in tandem (changed for better word choice), we can significantly reduce our reliance on traditional plastic materials will dwindle, and the and minimize their detrimental impact on environment is able to be minimized.the environment.
Title: 8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Overuse of plastics
- Pervasiveness in daily life
2. Problem
- Lengthy degradation process
- Environmental burden
3. Solution 1: Recyclable materials
- Example: Reusable bottles in coffee shops
- Encourages eco-friendly practices
4. Solution 2: Biodegradable plastics
- Advances in technology
- Government incentives for businesses
5. Conclusion
- Implementing strategies together
- Reducing reliance on traditional plastics and environmental impact
Title: 9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| pervasive | /pərˈveɪsɪv/ | adjective | spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people | 普遍的 | Plastics are pervasive in our daily lives, from bags to packaging. |
| degradation | /ˌdɛgrəˈdeɪʃən/ | noun | the process of something becoming worse or weaker, or being made worse or weaker | 退化 | The lengthy degradation process of plastics places a significant burden on our environment. |
| viable | /ˈvaɪəbəl/ | adjective | /capable of working successfully; feasible | /可行的 | /A viable solution to this problem is replacing plastic products with recyclable materials. |
| incentivize | /ɪnˈsɛntɪvaɪz/ | /verb | /provide (someone) with an incentive for doing something | /激励 | /Governments could incentivize businesses to adopt biodegradable plastics. |
| eco-friendly | /ˌikoʊˈfrɛndli/ | /adjective | /not harmful to the environment | /环保的 | /Using reusable bottles promotes eco-friendly practices. |
| biodegradable | /ˌbaɪoʊdɪˈgreɪdəbəl/ | adjective | capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms and thereby avoiding pollution | 可生物降解的 | Advances in technology have led to the development of biodegradable plastics. |
| subsidies | /ˈsʌbsɪdi/ | noun | a sum of money granted by the government or a public body to assist an industry or business so that the price of a commodity or service may remain low or competitive | 补贴 | Governments can provide subsidies to businesses that meet specific criteria for biodegradable plastic usage. |
| reliance | /rɪˈlaɪəns/ | noun | dependence on or trust in someone or something | 依赖 | We can reduce our reliance on traditional plastic materials by implementing these strategies. |
| detrimental | /ˌdetrəˈmentl/ | /adjective | /tending to cause harm | /有害的 | /By reducing our reliance on traditional plastics, we can minimize their detrimental impact on the environment. |
学术讨论评分标准
托福学术讨论任务基于ETS官方评分标准进行评估。AI评估系统从多个维度分析每个回答。
相关性与贡献
回答是否针对问题并为讨论做出有意义的贡献?
语言运用
语法准确性、词汇丰富度和句式结构质量。
论述与支撑
观点是否充分展开,是否有具体例子和清晰推理支撑?
回答中的常见模式
基于对该题目用户提交内容的分析,以下是在学生回答中观察到的常见模式。
很多学生能清楚表达观点,但缺乏具体的论据支撑。
高分回答会直接引用阅读段落和其他发言者的观点。
更高分的回答使用多样化的句式结构和学术词汇。
时间管理是关键因素——匆忙完成的回答在论述发展方面得分较低。
学习建议
在开始写作前仔细阅读题目,理清问题的所有组成部分。
在回答中引用阅读段落和其他同学的观点。
使用具体例子来支持你的主要论点——避免笼统的表述。
目标字数120-150词。更长的回答不一定更好;清晰度和针对性更重要。
进行限时练习(10分钟),在考试条件下提升写作流畅度。
常见问题
什么是托福学术讨论任务?
学术讨论任务如何评分?
本页面上的用户样本是什么?
AI评估的准确度如何?
如何练习这道学术讨论题目?
学术讨论回答应该多长?
相关托福学术讨论题目
All TOEFL Writing Samples
Browse all user-submitted TOEFL writing samples with AI evaluation
TOEFL Academic Discussion Guide
Learn strategies and tips for the Academic Discussion writing task
TOEFL Writing Guide
Complete guide to all TOEFL writing task types and scoring
TOEFL Speaking Guide
Master all TOEFL speaking tasks with expert strategies
TOEFL Reading Guide
Strategies for TOEFL reading comprehension tasks
TOEFL Listening Guide
Tips and practice for TOEFL listening comprehension