TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response, you should do the following. · Express and support your opinion. · Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words. ​In today's discussion, we've covered how consumers these days are constantly bombarded with information from various channels that shape their preferences and decision making. Now let's look at a more specific example. When it comes to making purchasing decisions, individuals have access to a wide range of information sources. Many opt to seek guidance from their parents or close friends, valuing their insights and experiences. On the other hand, some individuals prefer to rely on internet suggestions to aid their choices. Which approach do you prefer? Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

您的文章在任务完成度方面表现良好，成功回答了教授的问题，并表达了自己的观点。然而，您可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 在支持观点时，尝试提供更多具体的例子和细节。

2. 在讨论在线建议的缺点时，可以提供更多具体证据。

示例1：在支持观点时，您可以提到：“向亲朋好友寻求建议还有一个优势是他们对我们的喜好和需求有更深入的了解，因此他们给出的建议可能更符合我们的实际情况。”

示例2：在讨论在线建议的缺点时，您可以说：“有些网站上的评论可能存在水军现象，这使得消费者难以判断评论的真实性。”

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面表现不错，包括引言、正文和结论。文章逻辑清晰，每段专注于特定观点和支持细节。但是，在以下方面仍有改进空间：

1. 在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语，使文章更连贯。

2. 在正文部分，可以尝试使用对比结构来强调您的观点与Rory观点之间的差异。

示例1：在引言部分，您可以加入过渡词：“虽然Rory提到了在线建议的优势，但我认为亲朋好友的建议更有价值。”

示例2：在正文部分，您可以使用对比结构：“尽管在线评论可能提供更广泛的视角，但亲朋好友的建议往往更符合我们的个人需求和喜好。”

5. 语法批改

I agree with Amy's belief that seeking advice from loved ones, like parents or close friends, can provide valuable guidance. Additionally, I want to emphasize that this approach helped me acquire high-quality products. For example, when I was looking for a new phone five years ago, I asked my father for advice. Being an engineer, he knew which phone manufacturer made the most reliable hardware and efficient software. I followed his suggestion and bought the phone, which still works well to this day. In contrast, Rory argued that relying on online recommendations can help people discover new products or solutions. Nonetheless, he didn't consider that online information isn't always accurate. People who share their experiences with a particular product on their blogs may exaggerate the item's reliability because they may have received payment from the manufacturer. To summarize, I prefer to consult with my parents or friends before making purchases to ensure I get higher-quality products.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

Revised Essay:

I concur with Amy's perspective that seeking counsel from trusted individuals, such as parents or close friends, offers invaluable guidance in making purchasing decisions. Moreover, I would like to highlight my personal experience where this approach led me to acquire a high-quality product. For instance, when searching for a new phone five years ago, I sought my father's advice. As an engineer, he possessed the expertise to discern which phone manufacturer produced the most reliable hardware and efficient software. Following his recommendation, I purchased the phone, which continues to function optimally to this day. Conversely, Rory contends that online recommendations can introduce consumers to novel products or solutions. However, he overlooks the fact that online information may not always be accurate or unbiased. Individuals sharing their experiences with specific products on blogs or review sites might exaggerate the item's reliability due to receiving compensation from the manufacturer. Consequently, I favor consulting with my parents or friends before making purchases as it ensures a higher likelihood of obtaining superior-quality products. (175 words)

I agree concur with Amy's belief perspective (revised for a more formal tone) that seeking advice counsel from loved ones, like trusted individuals, such as parents or close friends, can provide valuable guidance. Additionally, I want to emphasize that offers invaluable guidance (rephrased for clarity) in making purchasing decisions. Moreover, I would like to highlight my personal experience where this approach helped led me to acquire a high-quality products. product. For example, instance, when I was looking searching for a new phone five years ago, I asked sought my father for father's advice. Being As an engineer, he knew possessed the expertise (rephrased for clarity) to discern which phone manufacturer made produced the most reliable hardware and efficient software. I followed Following his suggestion and bought recommendation, I purchased the phone, which still works well continues to function optimally (revised for a more precise description) to this day. In contrast, Conversely, Rory argued contends that relying on online recommendations can help people discover new introduce consumers to novel products or solutions. Nonetheless, However, he didn't consider overlooks the fact (rephrased for a more assertive tone) that online information isn't may not always accurate. People who share be accurate or unbiased. Individuals sharing their experiences with a particular product specific products on their blogs may or review sites might exaggerate the item's reliability because they may have received payment due to receiving compensation from the manufacturer. To summarize, I prefer to consult Consequently, I favor consulting with my parents or friends before making purchases to ensure I get higher-quality products.as it ensures a higher likelihood of obtaining superior-quality products (rephrased for emphasis).

8 思维导图

- Introduction
  - Agree with Amy's perspective
  - Seeking counsel from trusted individuals

- Personal Experience
  - Searching for a new phone
  - Father's advice as an engineer
  - Acquiring a high-quality product

- Counterargument: Online Recommendations
  - Rory's contention: novel products or solutions
  - Inaccuracy and bias in online information
  - Exaggeration due to compensation from manufacturers

- Conclusion
  - Favor consulting with parents or friends
  - Higher likelihood of obtaining superior-quality products

9 关键词