TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: WritingQuestion 2 of2 Your professor is teaching a class on skills forcareer success, Write a post responding to theprofessor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• Estimated Score: 26 (4.17)

3. 任务完成度

此篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好，但仍有改进空间。首先，文章中的观点与讨论话题相关，但可以更具体地阐述如何在工作或学习中使用时间管理策略。其次，在支持观点方面，可以提供更多详细的例子和论据。最后，在语言运用和语法方面，文章整体表达清晰，但部分句子结构略显复杂，可适当简化。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. Instead of focusing on travel planning, discuss how to-do lists or other time-management strategies help in work or studies.

2. Provide specific examples of how time-management strategies have helped you or others in achieving goals in work or studies.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面有待加强。虽然文章包含了引言、主体和结论部分，但各段落之间的逻辑关系不够明确。建议在段落开头明确提出主题句，并在段落内提供相关支持细节。此外，在段落之间添加过渡词或短语，以帮助读者更好地理解文章的逻辑结构。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. Add a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.

2. Use transition words or phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "on the other hand," to connect ideas and paragraphs.

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I firmly believe making plans for our activities is an excellent idea. Firstly, it could give me a sense of security and purpose. Having an elaborate plan allows me to know exactly what I am going yoto do, which is significant contributing factor. To be more specific, when I decide to go to travel,traveling, I am more willing to reschedule everythingeverything, including hotels, restaurants, and flights. This ensueensures that I could fully immersimmerse myself in my travel experience without any unpredictably incidentsunpredictable incidents, which might disrupt my travel and my happiness. Besides, making or adjusting plans could teachesteach us valuable time management skills and helpshelp us learn to arrange diverse things efficiently, fostering good habits in the process.

Title: 6 Article Revision

In my opinion, I firmly believe that creating plans for our activities is highly beneficial. Firstly, it provides a sense of security and purpose. Having a well-structured plan allows me to know precisely what I am going to do, which is a significant contributing factor. For instance, when planning a trip, I prefer to meticulously organize every detail, including accommodations, dining options, and transportation. This ensures that I can fully immerse myself in the travel experience without any unforeseen incidents potentially disrupting my enjoyment. Furthermore, devising or adjusting plans teaches us valuable time management skills and helps us learn to efficiently coordinate various tasks, ultimately fostering good habits in the process. (115 words)

In my opinion, I firmly believe making that creating plans (revised "making plans" to "creating plans" for better word choice) for our activities is an excellent idea. highly beneficial (revised "excellent idea" to "highly beneficial" for a more natural tone). Firstly, it could give me provides (changed "give" to "provides" for proper verb form) a sense of security and purpose. Having an elaborate a well-structured (added "well-structured" for clarity) plan allows me to know exactly precisely (changed "exactly" to "precisely" for better word choice) what I am going to do (corrected "going yo do, do" to "going to do"), which is a significant contributing factor. To be more specific, For instance, when planning a trip (rephrased "when I decide to go to travel, I travel" for clarity and conciseness), I prefer to meticulously organize every detail (rephrased "I am more willing to reschedule everything everything" for clarity), including hotels, restaurants, and flights. accommodations, dining options, and transportation. This ensue ensures that I could can fully immers immerse myself in my the travel experience without any unpredictably unforeseen incidents which might disrupt potentially disrupting my travel and my happiness. Besides, making enjoyment (rephrased sentence for clarity and conciseness). Furthermore, devising or adjusting plans could teaches us valuable time management skills and helps us learn to arrange diverse things efficiently, efficiently coordinate various tasks (rephrased sentence for clarity), ultimately fostering good habits in the process.

Title: 8 思维导图

1. 计划的重要性
   a. 安全感和目标感
   b. 提高效率

2. 旅行计划示例
   a. 住宿
   b. 餐饮选择
   c. 交通方式

3. 计划对时间管理的影响
   a. 学习协调任务
   b. 培养良好习惯

Title: 9 关键词