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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on government. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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题目概览

Professor

Sometimes, due to some large construction led by government, people need to move to another place. Before next class, I want you to consider the following question: Is it always right for governments to ask people to move their businesses and houses to provide space for the construction of large structures (new roads, new dams, etc.)? Why?

Karen

I think it's reasonable to ask people to move because of large construction. When the government is carrying out large-scale construction, it often gathers wisdom and argues repeatedly, so such construction often bring positive effects to people. In addition, residents who need to move will be compensated by the government for better working and living conditions

Leo

I don't think the government should ask people to move due to large construction. People are often deeply attached to the place where they live and work, and forcing people to leave can be traumatizing. This is not only bad for personal development, but also causes hidden dangers to society.

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1

用户样本 #1

I concur with Karen's perspective that asking people to move is reasonable since it can accelerate the development of a site. A large construction pro...

分数
27

用户样本

I concur with Karen's perspective that asking people to move is reasonable since it can accelerate the development of a site. A large construction project can bring plenty of benefits for people there, by receiving investment from government, which is superior to loss of their origin home. For instance, if government determines to hold Olympic games, which require them to build a huge stadium, some infastructure investment such as modernize the nearby blight area, lasting increase of tourism and medical progess. Therefore, people live there can have a better quality of life. Even though such project involves a great deal of money investment, the economic ripple effect will be so large that they can pay off by means of launching a TV advertisement compaign, licensing, and boosting tourism. For example, the World Cup in Brazil has brought 5.2 billion dollars revenue. And the government can utilize such money to help people who move their home to build a more modernize site, including better walfare and more convenient public transportation. Consequently, given the promising improvement of people's living environment, the advantages of letting people move to other place is overweigh its drawbacks.

评估结果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现良好,你成功地表达了自己的观点,并对讨论做出了贡献。然而,有一些方面可以改进。首先,在支持你的观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和细节。其次,尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构来增强文章的表达力。

改进建议示例:

  1. 在支持观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和细节。例如:“For instance, the construction of a new dam can not only provide clean energy for the local community but also create job opportunities, which can improve people's living standards in the long run.”

  2. 尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构来增强文章的表达力。例如:“Although relocating residents may initially cause inconvenience, the long-term benefits of large-scale construction projects, such as improved infrastructure and increased economic opportunities, outweigh the drawbacks.”

4. 文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在组织方面还有一些可以改进的地方。首先,尝试在段落之间使用过渡词或短语来使文章更连贯。其次,确保每个段落都集中讨论一个具体的观点,并提供相应的支持细节。

改进建议示例:

  1. 在段落之间使用过渡词或短语来使文章更连贯。例如:“On the other hand, it is important to consider the potential negative impacts of relocating residents, such as emotional distress and disruption to their daily lives.”

  2. 确保每个段落都集中讨论一个具体的观点,并提供相应的支持细节。例如:“In conclusion, while it is essential to weigh the pros and cons of relocating residents for large-scale construction projects, I believe that the long-term benefits for the community as a whole outweigh the drawbacks.”

5. 语法批改

I concur with Karen's perspective that asking people to move is reasonable since it can accelerate the development of a site. A large construction project can bring plenty of benefits for people there, by receiving investment from government, which is superior to loss of their origin home. For instance, if government determines to hold Olympic gamesOlympic Games(Checks upper/lower case spelling of some proper nouns), which require them to build a huge stadium, some infastructureinfrastructure(misspelling) investment such as modernize the nearby blight area, lasting increase of tourism and medical progessprocess(misspelling). Therefore, people live there can have a better quality of life. Even though such project involves a great deal of money investment, the economic ripple effect will be so large that they can pay off by means of launching a TV advertisement compaigncampaign(misspelling), licensing, and boosting tourism. For example, the World Cup in Brazil has brought 5.2 billion dollars revenue. And the government can utilize such money to help people who move their home to build a more modernize site, including better walfarewarfare(misspelling) and more convenient public transportation. Consequently, given the promising improvement of people's living environment, the advantages of letting people move to other place is overweighoverweight(misspelling) its drawbacks.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In agreement with Karen's viewpoint, I believe that requesting individuals to relocate for large-scale construction projects is justifiable, as it can contribute significantly to the area's development. Such projects often bring numerous advantages to the community, including government investments that outweigh the loss of their original homes. For example, when a government decides to host the Olympic Games, it necessitates constructing a massive stadium and investing in infrastructure improvements such as modernizing nearby areas, increasing tourism, and advancing medical facilities. As a result, residents can enjoy an enhanced quality of life.

Although these projects may require substantial financial investments, the economic ripple effects generated can offset the costs through advertising campaigns, licensing agreements, and increased tourism revenue. The World Cup in Brazil, for instance, generated $5.2 billion in revenue. Governments can allocate these funds to assist those who have relocated by developing more modernized communities with improved welfare systems and convenient public transportation options. Therefore, considering the potential enhancements to people's living conditions and overall well-being, the benefits of relocating individuals for large-scale construction projects outweigh any drawbacks. (183 words)

I concur In agreement with Karen's perspective viewpoint (clarifies the subject), I believe that asking people to move requesting individuals (more formal) to relocate for large-scale construction projects is reasonable since justifiable, as it can accelerate the development of a site. A large construction project can contribute significantly to the area's development. Such projects often bring plenty of benefits for people there, by receiving investment from government, which is superior to numerous advantages to the community, including government investments that outweigh the loss of their origin home. original homes (clarifies the comparison). For instance, if example, when a government determines to hold decides to host the Olympic games, which require them to build Games, it necessitates constructing a huge stadium, some infastructure investment massive stadium and investing in infrastructure improvements such as modernize the modernizing nearby blight area, lasting increase of tourism and areas, increasing tourism, and advancing medical progess. Therefore, people live there can have facilities (provides specific examples). As a better result, residents can enjoy an enhanced quality of life. Even though such project involves a great deal of money investment, life (summarizes the benefit).

Although these projects may require substantial financial investments (more formal), the economic ripple effect will be so large that they can pay off by means of launching a TV advertisement compaign, licensing, and boosting tourism. For example, the effects generated can offset the costs through advertising campaigns, licensing agreements, and increased tourism revenue (provides specific examples). The World Cup in Brazil has brought 5.2 Brazil, for instance, generated $5.2 billion dollars in revenue. And the government can utilize such money to help people Governments can allocate these funds to assist those who move their home to build a have relocated by developing more modernize site, including better walfare and more modernized communities with improved welfare systems and convenient public transportation. Consequently, given the promising improvement of transportation options (explains how funds can be used). Therefore, considering the potential enhancements to people's living environment, the advantages conditions and overall well-being (summarizes main point), the benefits of letting people move to other place is overweigh its drawbacks.relocating individuals for large-scale construction projects outweigh any drawbacks (concludes argument).

8 思维导图


- 大型建设项目
    - 社区优势
        - 政府投资
        - 提高生活质量
    - 经济效益
        - 广告活动
        - 许可协议
        - 旅游收入增加
    - 改善居民生活条件
        - 现代化社区建设
        - 公共交通便利性提高
    - 总体福祉提升

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
justifiable/ˈdʒʌstɪfaɪəbəl/adjectiveable to be shown to be right or reasonable; defensible可辩解的,有道理的Requesting individuals to relocate for large-scale construction projects is justifiable.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounthe basic physical and organizational structures and facilities基础设施The government invested in infrastructure improvements such as modernizing nearby areas.
ripple effect/ˈrɪpəl ɪˌfekt/nouna situation in which one event produces effects which spread连锁反应The economic ripple effects generated can offset the costs.
revenue/ˈrɛvənju/nounincome, especially when of an organization and of a substantial nature收入,财政收入The World Cup in Brazil generated $5.2 billion in revenue.
allocate/ˈæləkeɪt/verbdistribute (resources or duties) for a particular purpose分配,拨款Governments can allocate these funds to assist those who have relocated.
modernized/ˈmɒdərnaɪzd/adjectivemade more up-to-date or suitable for modern needs or conditions现代化的The government developed more modernized communities with improved welfare systems.
welfare/ˈwɛlfɛr/nounthe health, happiness, and fortunes of a person or group福利,福祉Improved welfare systems contribute to people's overall well-being.
public transportation/ˈpʌblɪk ˌtrænspərˈteɪʃən/nounbuses, trains, subways, etc., that are available to the public公共交通Convenient public transportation options were provided for the residents.
enhancements/ɪnˈhænsmənts/-noun-an increase or improvement in quality, value, or extent-提高,增强-Residents can enjoy an enhanced quality of life due to the large-scale construction projects.
drawbacks/ˈdrɔbæk/-noun-a feature that renders something less acceptable; a disadvantage-缺点,不利条件-The benefits of relocating individuals for large-scale construction projects outweigh any drawbacks.
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相关性与贡献

回答是否针对问题并为讨论做出有意义的贡献?

语言运用

语法准确性、词汇丰富度和句式结构质量。

论述与支撑

观点是否充分展开,是否有具体例子和清晰推理支撑?

回答中的常见模式

基于对该题目用户提交内容的分析,以下是在学生回答中观察到的常见模式。

很多学生能清楚表达观点,但缺乏具体的论据支撑。

高分回答会直接引用阅读段落和其他发言者的观点。

更高分的回答使用多样化的句式结构和学术词汇。

时间管理是关键因素——匆忙完成的回答在论述发展方面得分较低。

学习建议

1

在开始写作前仔细阅读题目,理清问题的所有组成部分。

2

在回答中引用阅读段落和其他同学的观点。

3

使用具体例子来支持你的主要论点——避免笼统的表述。

4

目标字数120-150词。更长的回答不一定更好;清晰度和针对性更重要。

5

进行限时练习(10分钟),在考试条件下提升写作流畅度。

常见问题

什么是托福学术讨论任务?
托福学术讨论任务要求你参与在线课堂讨论。你需要阅读教授的问题和其他学生的回复,然后在约10分钟内写出自己的帖子,表达并支持你的观点。
学术讨论任务如何评分?
该任务按0-5分评分,评估维度包括与讨论的相关性、语言运用质量(语法、词汇、句式结构)以及你如何用具体例子和推理来发展和支持自己的观点。
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