TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a postresponding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现良好，但仍有改进的空间。首先，在支持观点时，可以使用更具体的例子来加强论据。其次，注意语法和词汇的准确性，避免出现错误。

Example 1: Original: "Students may need to register help from teachers, which is not convienent for just ask classmates." Improved: "Students may need to schedule appointments with teachers, which is less convenient than simply asking classmates for help."

Example 2: Original: "By providing help with having questions' student, we can not only communicate about the solution of the problem, but also about interests, habits and living preferrence" Improved: "By helping students with their questions, we can not only discuss the solutions to problems but also share our interests, habits, and living preferences."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面需要改进。首先，应该有一个明确的引言部分来介绍主题和表达观点。其次，在正文部分中，每个段落应该集中讨论一个具体的观点，并提供相关细节和例子来支持。最后，在结论部分总结文章，并重申观点。

Example 1: Original Introduction: "While I can see Bells's point that students should ask professional and skilled instructors for help cope with challenges, I agree the Adam's perspective that we are able to render assistance for classmates." Improved Introduction: "Although Belle suggests that students should seek help from professional tutors, I believe Adam's perspective is more accurate, as classmates can provide valuable assistance to each other."

Example 2: Original Body Paragraph: "As Adam has mentioned that students have different view from teachers but may similar to classmates, which is better to understand." Improved Body Paragraph: "As Adam mentioned, students often have a similar perspective to their classmates, making it easier for them to understand each other's difficulties and explain concepts in a relatable way."

5. 语法批改

While I can see Bells's point that students should ask professional and skilled instructors for help copeto cope(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) with challenges, I agree theto the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) Adam's perspective that we are able to render assistance for classmates. As Adam has mentioned that students have different view from teachers but may similarbe similar(who would (be) responsible) to classmates, which is better to understand. Students may need to register help from teachers, which is not convienentcontinent(misspelling) forto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) just ask classmates. Apart from what he has raised, I add that it is a good opportunity for classmates to build a better connection. By providing help with having questions' student, we can not only communicate about the solution of the problem, but also about interests, habits and living preferrencepreference(misspelling), which make a strong bond with each other; however, if students ask questions for teachers, they will not have such a harmonious atmosphere and connection with classmates.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While I understand Belle's argument that students should seek assistance from professional and experienced tutors to overcome challenges, I concur with Adam's viewpoint that we, as classmates, can offer valuable support to one another. As Adam mentioned, students often share similar perspectives and understanding, which can facilitate more effective communication and comprehension. Additionally, seeking help from peers is often more convenient than arranging formal tutoring sessions with instructors. Beyond these points, I believe that assisting classmates presents an excellent opportunity for fostering stronger connections. By engaging in collaborative problem-solving, we not only address academic issues but also discover shared interests, habits, and preferences that can strengthen our bonds. Conversely, relying solely on teachers for guidance may limit the development of such harmonious relationships among peers. (130 words)

While I can see Bells's point understand Belle's argument (corrected spelling and clarified the subject) that students should ask seek assistance (rephrased for clarity) from professional and skilled instructors experienced tutors (rephrased for help cope with clarity) to overcome challenges, I agree the concur with Adam's perspective viewpoint (rephrased for clarity) that we are able we, as classmates, can offer valuable support to render assistance for classmates. one another. As Adam has mentioned that mentioned, students have different view from teachers but may often share similar to classmates, perspectives and understanding (clarified the point), which is better to understand. Students may need to register can facilitate more effective communication and comprehension (rephrased for clarity). Additionally, seeking help from teachers, which peers is not convienent often more convenient than arranging formal tutoring sessions with instructors (rephrased for just ask classmates. Apart from what he has raised, clarity). Beyond these points, I add believe that it is a good assisting classmates presents an excellent opportunity for classmates to build a better connection. fostering stronger connections (rephrased for clarity). By providing help with having questions' student, engaging in collaborative problem-solving, we can not only communicate about the solution of the problem, address academic issues but also about discover shared interests, habits habits, and living preferrence, which make a strong bond with each other; however, if students ask questions preferences that can strengthen our bonds (rephrased for teachers, they will not have clarity). Conversely, relying solely on teachers for guidance may limit the development of such a harmonious atmosphere and connection with classmates.relationships among peers (rephrased for clarity).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Belle's argument
   - Adam's viewpoint

2. Similar perspectives and understanding
   - Effective communication
   - Better comprehension

3. Convenience of peer support
   - Easier access to help
   - Less formal than tutoring sessions

4. Fostering connections among classmates
   - Collaborative problem-solving
   - Shared interests, habits, and preferences

5. Limitations of relying solely on teachers
   - Hindered development of peer relationships

6. Conclusion 
   - Importance of peer support in addition to professional guidance 

Title: 9 关键词