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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: globalization

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globalization

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1

用户样本 #1

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boost...

分数
20

用户样本

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the development of our world. Hence, it is crucial that every country sticks to the policy of globalization. For one hand, the ground-breaking science and technology innovation all dissipates through globalization from one corner to all over the world. A prime exemplification is that computer was first invented in a laboratory in the US, but now, almost every family except people who are suffering from abject poverty have the access to computers for diverse intentions. I quite agree with alex’s conception over this topic. On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary recipes will become monotonous. That means, we can only eat domestic food. Taking myself as an example, i have a sweet teeth. If there is no globalization, i can not drink coke any more.

评估结果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. 预估分数

  • Estimated Score: 20

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面有一定的不足。首先,文章没有明确提到阅读材料中的观点和论据。其次,虽然文章提到了与全球化相关的一些例子,但这些例子并没有充分展示作者对全球化的看法。为了改进这篇文章,建议作者:

  1. 更详细地参考阅读材料中的观点和论据。

  2. 提供更多与全球化相关的具体例子,并说明这些例子如何支持作者的观点。

例如:

  • "According to the reading, globalization has led to an increase in international trade, which has benefited many countries' economies."

  • "Another example of the positive impact of globalization is the spread of medical advancements, such as vaccines, which have saved countless lives worldwide."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章在结构和组织方面也有待改进。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结尾,但正文部分缺乏明确的段落划分,使得文章看起来较为混乱。此外,缺少清晰的过渡句使得各个观点之间联系不紧密。为了改进文章的结构和组织,建议作者:

  1. 使用明确的段落划分,每个段落只讨论一个观点。

  2. 使用过渡句连接各个观点和段落。

例如:

  • "One significant benefit of globalization is the rapid spread of technological innovations. For instance, computers were first invented in the United States, but now they are accessible to people all around the world."

  • "Another advantage of globalization is the diversification of culinary options. Due to globalization, we can now enjoy various international cuisines instead of being limited to our local food."

5. 语法批改

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the development of our world. Hence, it is crucial that every country sticks to the policy of globalization. For one hand, the ground-breaking science and technology innovation all dissipates through globalization from one corner to all over the world. A prime exemplification is that computer was first invented in a laboratory in the US, but now, almost every family except people who are suffering from abject poverty have the access to computers for diverse intentions. I quite agree with alexAlex(misspelling)’s conception over this topic. On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary recipes will become monotonous. That means, we can only eat domestic food. Taking myself as an example, iI(i vs. I) have a sweet teetha sweet tooth(Agreement: 'a' + plural word). If there is no globalization, iI(i vs. I) can not drink coke any moreanymore(any more (anymore)).

Title: 6 文章修订

Globalization has become an increasingly significant topic in recent years, and in my opinion, it plays a vital role in the ongoing development of our world. Consequently, it is essential for countries to embrace and support globalization policies. On one hand, groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated worldwide through globalization, reaching from one corner of the globe to another. A prime example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States but has since become accessible to nearly every household, except for those living in extreme poverty. I concur with Alex's perspective on this matter.

On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary experiences would be significantly limited and monotonous as we would only have access to domestic food options. For instance, as someone with a sweet tooth, I appreciate the availability of diverse treats such as Coca-Cola due to globalization. (150 words)

The Globalization has become an increasingly significant topic of globalization has been in recent years (revised for clarity and natural tone), and in my opinion, it plays a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the vital role in the ongoing development of our world. Hence, Consequently, it is crucial that every country sticks to the policy of globalization. For essential for countries to embrace and support globalization policies (revised for clarity). On one hand, the ground-breaking science and technology innovation all dissipates groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated worldwide through globalization (revised for natural tone), reaching from one corner to all over the world. of the globe to another. A prime exemplification example is that computer the computer, which was first initially invented in a laboratory in the US, United States but now, almost has since become accessible to nearly every family household, except people who are suffering from abject for those living in extreme poverty have the access to computers for diverse intentions. (revised for clarity and natural tone). I quite agree concur with alex’s conception over Alex's perspective on this topic. matter (revised for natural tone).

On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary recipes will become monotonous. That means, experiences would be significantly limited and monotonous as we can would only eat have access to domestic food. Taking myself food options (revised for clarity). For instance, as an example, i have someone with a sweet teeth. If there is no globalization, i can not drink coke any more.tooth (corrected spelling), I appreciate the availability of diverse treats such as Coca-Cola due to globalization (revised for clarity and natural tone).

8 思维导图


1. Globalization
   - Importance
   - Development of the world

2. Embracing and supporting globalization policies

3. Scientific and technological innovations
   - Dissemination worldwide
   - Example: computer

4. Culinary experiences
   - Without globalization: limited and monotonous
   - Access to diverse food options

5. Personal perspective and appreciation

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
Globalization/ˌɡloʊbəlɪˈzeɪʃən/NounThe process by which businesses or other organizations develop international influence or start operating on an international scale.全球化Globalization plays a vital role in the ongoing development of our world.
Disseminate/dɪˈsɛmɪneɪt/VerbTo spread information, knowledge, etc., so that it reaches many people.传播Groundbreaking innovations are disseminated worldwide through globalization.
Culinary/ˈkʌlɪnəri/AdjectiveRelated to cooking or the kitchen烹饪的Our culinary experiences would be limited without globalization.
Monotonous/məˈnɒtənəs/AdjectiveLacking in variety; tediously unvarying单调的Without globalization, our culinary experiences would be monotonous.
Appreciate/əˈpriʃieɪt/VerbTo recognize the full worth of; to be grateful for欣赏I appreciate the availability of diverse treats due to globalization.
Groundbreaking/ˈɡraʊndˌbreɪkɪŋ/AdjectiveInnovative; pioneering开创性的Groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated worldwide through globalization.
Perspective/pərˈspektɪv/NounA particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.观点I concur with Alex's perspective on this matter.
Accessible/əkˈsesəbəl/AdjectiveEasy to approach, reach, enter, speak with, or use.易接近的The computer has since become accessible to nearly every household.
Embrace/ɪmˈbreɪs/VerbTo accept or support willingly and enthusiastically.拥抱It is essential for countries to embrace and support globalization policies.
2

用户样本 #2

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boost...

分数
22

用户样本

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the development of our world. Hence, it is crucial that every country sticks to the policy of globalization. For one hand, the groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated through globalization reaching from one corner to all over the world. A prime example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States, but has since bocome available to almost every household except those suffering from abject poverty. I concur with Alex’s conception on this matter . On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary experiences would be significantly limited and monotonous as we could only eat domestic food. For instance, i have a sweet tooth. I appreciate the diverse treats such as Coca-Cola due to globalization.

评估结果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面有待提高。首先,文章没有提到阅读材料中的观点和问题,因此无法判断作者对阅读材料的理解程度。其次,文章中的观点较为简单,缺乏具体的例子和详细的解释。建议作者在写作时更加关注任务要求,仔细阅读并理解阅读材料,并尝试使用更多具体的例子来支持自己的观点。

改进示例1(英文): Instead of just mentioning that you agree with Alex's conception, you could provide a specific example from the reading material to show how Alex's view supports your argument.

改进示例2(英文): To better address the question, you could discuss both the positive and negative aspects of globalization, providing examples from the reading material to support your points.

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织方面来看,这篇文章还有很大的提升空间。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结论,但各部分之间缺乏明确的过渡和联系。此外,正文部分只包含了两个段落,每个段落的观点和支持细节较为简单。建议作者在写作时更加注重文章的结构和组织,确保每个段落都有明确的主题句和相关的支持细节,并在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词汇。

改进示例1(英文): To improve the organization of your essay, you could start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. For example, "One major benefit of globalization is the rapid spread of technological innovations."

改进示例2(英文): To create smoother transitions between paragraphs, you could use transitional phrases such as "In addition," "However," or "On the contrary." For example, "In addition to spreading technology, globalization also enriches our culinary experiences."

5. 语法批改

The topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the development of our world. Hence, it is crucial that every country sticks to the policy of globalization. For one hand, the groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated through globalization reaching from one corner to all over the world. A prime example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States, but has since bocomebecome(misspelling) available to almost every household except those suffering from abject poverty. I concur with Alex’s conception on this matter ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) On the other hand, without globalization, our culinary experiences would be significantly limited and monotonous as we could only eat domestic food. For instance, iI(i vs. I) have a sweet tooth. I appreciate the diverse treats such as Coca-Cola due to globalization.

Title: 6 文章修订

Globalization has increasingly become a topic of great interest and importance in recent years. In my view, it plays a vital role in the ongoing development and progress of our world. Therefore, it is essential for every nation to embrace and support globalization policies.

Firstly, the rapid dissemination of groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations is made possible through globalization, allowing advancements to reach all corners of the globe. A prime example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States but has since become accessible to nearly every household, excluding those afflicted by extreme poverty. I wholeheartedly agree with Alex's perspective on this matter.

Secondly, without globalization, our culinary experiences would be considerably restricted and monotonous as we would be limited to consuming only domestic food. For instance, as someone with a sweet tooth, I greatly appreciate the diverse treats available worldwide such as Coca-Cola – a direct result of globalization. (159 words)

The Globalization has increasingly become a topic of globalization has been a subject very close to people’s heart great interest and importance (clarifies the meaning) in recent years. My personal opinion is that globalization constantly boosts the In my view, it plays a vital role (more concise) in the ongoing development and progress of our world. Hence, Therefore, it is crucial that essential for every country sticks to the policy of globalization. nation to embrace and support globalization policies (rephrased for clarity).

For one hand, the Firstly, the rapid dissemination (more precise term) of groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated is made possible through globalization reaching from one corner to globalization, allowing advancements to reach all over the world. corners of the globe (rephrased for clarity). A prime example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States, States but has since bocome available to almost become accessible to nearly every household except household, excluding those suffering from abject poverty. afflicted by extreme poverty (revised for better flow). I concur wholeheartedly agree with Alex’s conception Alex's perspective on this matter (more natural tone).

On the other hand, Secondly, without globalization, our culinary experiences would be significantly limited considerably restricted and monotonous as we could would be limited to consuming only eat domestic food. food (rephrased for clarity). For instance, i have as someone with a sweet tooth. tooth, I greatly appreciate the diverse treats available worldwide such as Coca-Cola due to globalization.– a direct result of globalization (revised for better flow).

8 思维导图


1. Globalization
   - Importance
   - Development and progress

2. Scientific and technological innovations
   - Rapid dissemination
   - Example: computer

3. Culinary experiences
   - Diversity of food options
   - Example: Coca-Cola

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
Globalization/ˌɡloʊbəlɪˈzeɪʃən/NounThe process by which businesses or other organizations develop international influence or start operating on an international scale.全球化Globalization has played a vital role in the ongoing development and progress of our world.
Dissemination/dɪˌsɛmɪˈneɪʃən/NounThe act of spreading something, especially information, widely; circulation.传播The rapid dissemination of groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations is made possible through globalization.
Groundbreaking/ˈɡraʊndbreɪkɪŋ/AdjectiveInnovative; pioneering开创性的Groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations have reached all corners of the globe thanks to globalization.
Innovation/ˌinəˈveɪʃən/NounA new method, idea, product, etc_创新_The computer is a prime example of an innovation that has become accessible worldwide due to globalization.
Culinary/ˈkʌlɪnəri/AdjectiveOf or for cooking or the kitchen烹饪的Globalization has greatly expanded our culinary experiences.
Restricted/rɪˈstrɪktɪd/AdjectiveLimited in extent, number, scope, or action_受限的_Without globalization, our culinary experiences would be considerably restricted.
Monotonous/məˈnɒtənəs/AdjectiveDull, tedious, and repetitious; lacking in variety and interest_单调的_Our food options would be monotonous without the influence of globalization.
Sweet tooth/swi:t tu:θ/NounA great liking for sweet-tasting foods_爱吃甜食的口味_As someone with a sweet tooth, I greatly appreciate the diverse treats available worldwide.
Accessible/əkˈsesəb(ə)l/AdjectiveAble to be reached or entered_易接近的_The computer has become accessible to nearly every household due to globalization.
Afflicted/əˈflɪktɪd/AdjectiveSuffering from (a problem or illness)_受折磨的_Computers have become accessible to nearly every household, excluding those afflicted by extreme poverty.
3

用户样本 #3

I concur with Alex’s opinion that globalization changes the world. This is because, almost all groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations...

分数
20

用户样本

I concur with Alex’s opinion that globalization changes the world. This is because, almost all groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated through globalization. A prime example is computer, which was initiately invented in a laboratory in the United States, has since become accessible to nearly all household all over the world. Therefore, it is vital that every country embraces and sticks to the globalization policies. Besides, globalizaion provides diverse life amenity choices and leads to a more enjoyable life for people with different backgrounds. For instance, i have a sweet teeth and signifiantly rely on Coca-Cola especially when suffering from heavy workload. by contrast, without globalizaiton, i may not even heard of this fantastic beverage, resulting a great lack of happiness and relaxation. Hence, i personally support the idea that globalization should be insisted.

评估结果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 3.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 2.5

2. 预估分数

  • 20

3. 任务完成度

你的文章在一定程度上回答了问题,但还有很多可以改进的地方。首先,你需要更清楚地表达观点,并提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。此外,注意检查拼写和语法错误。建议使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构。

改进示例1(英文): Instead of "i have a sweet teeth", you can write "I have a sweet tooth".

改进示例2(英文): Instead of "i may not even heard of this fantastic beverage", you can write "I might not have even heard of this fantastic beverage".

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面还有很多可以改进的地方。首先,需要一个明确的引言来引导读者了解文章主题。其次,在正文部分中,每个段落应专注于一个具体观点,并提供相应的支持细节。最后,在结论部分总结文章要点并重申观点。此外,请注意在段落之间使用清晰的过渡词。

改进示例1(英文): Add an introduction: "In this essay, I will discuss the positive impacts of globalization on our lives, focusing on the dissemination of technology and the availability of diverse amenities."

改进示例2(英文): Add a transition between paragraphs: "Another benefit of globalization is the availability of diverse amenities that lead to a more enjoyable life for people with different backgrounds."

5. 语法批改

I concur with Alex’s opinion that globalization changes the world. This is because, almost all groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations are disseminated through globalization. A prime example is computer, which was initiatelyinitially(misspelling) invented in a laboratory in the United States, has since become accessible to nearly all household all over the world. Therefore, it is vital that every country embraces and sticks to the globalization policies. Besides, globalizaionglobalization(misspelling) provides diverse life amenity choices and leads to a more enjoyable life for people with different backgrounds. For instance, iI(i vs. I) have a sweet teetha sweet tooth(Agreement: 'a' + plural word) and signifiantlysignificantly(misspelling) rely on Coca-ColaCola,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) especially when suffering from heavy workload. byBy(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) contrast, without globalizaitonglobalization(misspelling), iI(i vs. I) may not even heardhear(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) of this fantastic beverage, resulting ain a(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'in' is missing in a sentence.) great lack of happiness and relaxation. Hence, iI(i vs. I) personally support the idea that globalization should be insisted.

Title: 6 文章修订

I wholeheartedly agree with Alex's perspective that globalization has a transformative impact on the world. This is primarily due to the fact that numerous groundbreaking scientific and technological advancements are disseminated globally through this process. A quintessential example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States and has since become accessible to households worldwide. Consequently, it is imperative for every nation to embrace and adhere to globalization policies.

Furthermore, globalization offers an array of lifestyle amenities, catering to individuals from diverse backgrounds and ultimately enhancing their overall quality of life. For instance, as someone with a penchant for sweets, I rely heavily on Coca-Cola, particularly during periods of intense workload. In the absence of globalization, I may have never even discovered this remarkable beverage, which would have resulted in a significant loss of happiness and relaxation. Thus, I firmly advocate for the continued promotion of globalization. (155 words)

I concur wholeheartedly agree with Alex’s opinion Alex's perspective (Changed "concur" to "wholeheartedly agree" for a more natural tone) that globalization changes has a transformative impact (Changed "changes" to "has a transformative impact" for better clarity) on the world. This is because, almost all primarily due to the fact (Added "primarily due to the fact" for better sentence flow) that numerous groundbreaking scientific and technological innovations advancements are disseminated globally through globalization. this process. A prime quintessential example is the computer, which was initiately initially (Changed "initiately" to "initially") invented in a laboratory in the United States, States and has since become accessible to nearly all household all over the world. Therefore, households worldwide. Consequently, it is vital that imperative (Changed "vital" to "imperative") for every country embraces and sticks to the nation to embrace and adhere (Changed "sticks to" to "adhere") to globalization policies.

Besides, globalizaion provides Furthermore, globalization offers an array of lifestyle amenities, catering to individuals from diverse life amenity choices and leads to a more enjoyable life for people with different backgrounds. backgrounds and ultimately enhancing their overall quality of life. For instance, i as someone with a penchant for sweets (Changed "i have a sweet teeth and signifiantly teeth" to "as someone with a penchant for sweets"), I rely heavily on Coca-Cola especially when suffering from heavy Coca-Cola, particularly during periods of intense workload. by contrast, without globalizaiton, i In the absence of globalization, I may not have never even heard of discovered this fantastic remarkable beverage, resulting a great lack which would have resulted in a significant loss of happiness and relaxation. Hence, i personally support Thus, I firmly advocate (Changed "support the idea that globalization should be insisted.insisted" to "firmly advocate for the continued promotion of globalization") for the continued promotion of globalization.

8 思维导图


- Globalization
  - Transformative impact
    - Scientific advancements
      - Example: Computer invention and accessibility
    - Technological advancements
  - Embracing globalization policies

- Lifestyle amenities
  - Catering to diverse backgrounds
  - Enhancing quality of life
    - Example: Coca-Cola and personal happiness

- Advocating for continued promotion of globalization

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
Globalization/ˌɡloʊbəlɪˈzeɪʃən/NounThe process by which businesses or other organizations develop international influence or start operating on an international scale.全球化Globalization has a transformative impact on the world.
Transformative/trænsˈfɔrmətɪv/AdjectiveCausing a marked change in someone or something.变革性的Numerous groundbreaking scientific and technological advancements are disseminated globally through this process.
Quintessential/kwɪnˌtɛsənʃəl/AdjectiveRepresenting the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class.典型的A quintessential example is the computer, which was initially invented in a laboratory in the United States.
Disseminate/dɪˈsɛməneɪt/VerbSpread (something, especially information) widely.传播Groundbreaking advancements are disseminated globally through globalization.
Penchant/ˈpɛnʃənt/NounA strong or habitual liking for something or tendency to do something.嗜好As someone with a penchant for sweets, I rely heavily on Coca-Cola.
Amenities/əˈminətēz/NounDesirable or useful features or facilities of a building or place.便利设施Globalization offers an array of lifestyle amenities, catering to individuals from diverse backgrounds.
Diverse/daɪˈvɜrs/AdjectiveShowing a great deal of variety; very different.多样的Globalization caters to individuals from diverse backgrounds and enhances their overall quality of life.
Advocate/ˈædvəkeɪt/VerbPublicly recommend or support.提倡I firmly advocate for the continued promotion of globalization.
Remarkable/rɪˈmɑrkəbəl/AdjectiveWorthy of attention; striking._非凡的_In the absence of globalization, I may have never even discovered this remarkable beverage.
练习同类托福写作题 →

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学术讨论评分标准

托福学术讨论任务基于ETS官方评分标准进行评估。AI评估系统从多个维度分析每个回答。

相关性与贡献

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语言运用

语法准确性、词汇丰富度和句式结构质量。

论述与支撑

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回答中的常见模式

基于对该题目用户提交内容的分析,以下是在学生回答中观察到的常见模式。

很多学生能清楚表达观点,但缺乏具体的论据支撑。

高分回答会直接引用阅读段落和其他发言者的观点。

更高分的回答使用多样化的句式结构和学术词汇。

时间管理是关键因素——匆忙完成的回答在论述发展方面得分较低。

学习建议

1

在开始写作前仔细阅读题目,理清问题的所有组成部分。

2

在回答中引用阅读段落和其他同学的观点。

3

使用具体例子来支持你的主要论点——避免笼统的表述。

4

目标字数120-150词。更长的回答不一定更好;清晰度和针对性更重要。

5

进行限时练习(10分钟),在考试条件下提升写作流畅度。

常见问题

什么是托福学术讨论任务?
托福学术讨论任务要求你参与在线课堂讨论。你需要阅读教授的问题和其他学生的回复,然后在约10分钟内写出自己的帖子,表达并支持你的观点。
学术讨论任务如何评分?
该任务按0-5分评分,评估维度包括与讨论的相关性、语言运用质量(语法、词汇、句式结构)以及你如何用具体例子和推理来发展和支持自己的观点。
本页面上的用户样本是什么?
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AI评估的准确度如何?
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学术讨论回答应该多长?
目标字数120-150词。该任务给你10分钟写作时间。重点关注表达的清晰度、用具体例子支持观点以及引用讨论背景,而不是追求更长的篇幅。

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