TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: 1.Your professor is teaching a class on business class. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好，回答了教授的问题并提供了对于购买二手或回收产品的看法。然而，文章可以在以下方面进行改进：首先，在论述观点时可以提供更多具体的例子来支持观点；其次，可以对其他同学的观点进行更深入的讨论，以便更好地参与讨论。

Example 1: Instead of just mentioning that a used laptop could be given a fascinating discount, you could provide specific numbers or percentages to illustrate the price difference between new and used laptops.

Example 2: You could respond more directly to Claire's point about the charm of vintage products by acknowledging her viewpoint and then explaining why you still believe saving money is a more significant advantage.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面表现良好，有明确的引言、正文和结论。然而，在以下方面仍有改进空间：首先，可以在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语，使文章读起来更连贯；其次，在正文部分中可以使用主题句来突出每个段落的中心思想。

Example 1: Add transition words or phrases between paragraphs, such as "On the other hand" or "Furthermore" to improve the flow of your essay.

Example 2: Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to highlight the main idea. For example, you could start your second paragraph with "One significant advantage of buying used or recycled products is the cost savings."

5. 语法批改

From my point of view, I firmly believe that buying used or recycled products could definitely save money. The primary rationale behind this stance is that those recycled products usually offer a lower price, whichwhich, in turn saveturn, saves us students'students money. As we all know, university students are responsible for receiving knowledge from school. SoTherefore, they do not possess anyhave time to take a part-time job. In light of this, finding a used or recycled product could be regarded as a compelling way to save money. As an illustration,For instance, a laptop, which is kind oftypically expensive atduring ordinary times, could be given a fascinating discount because of its recycling. Therefore, people would be bound to choose it. ThenThen, they could use the money they save to make more practical budgets. However, while Paul's argument regarding the responsibility of fixing holds some merits, it is crucial that there are also eligible companies to salethat sell reusable things. They have contracts to sign and promise accordingpromises to thekeep regarding fixing issues. Thus, I adviceadvise that everyone should choose those companies.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, purchasing used or recycled products is an effective way to save money, particularly for university students. The primary reason for this perspective is that such products are typically more affordable, allowing students to allocate their limited funds more efficiently. As most students focus on their studies and have little time for part-time jobs, opting for used or recycled items can be a practical approach to budgeting. For instance, a laptop, which can be quite expensive when new, may be available at a significantly reduced price if it is refurbished. Consequently, individuals may prefer this option and use the savings for other essential expenses.

While Paul's point about the responsibility of repairs has some validity, it is important to note that there are reputable companies specializing in selling refurbished items. These businesses often provide contracts and warranties addressing potential repair issues. Therefore, I recommend that consumers choose such companies when considering used or recycled products to ensure they receive quality items with adequate support. (169 words)

From In my point of view, I firmly believe that buying opinion, purchasing used or recycled products could definitely is an effective way to save money. money (revised for clarity and natural tone), particularly for university students. The primary rationale behind reason for this stance perspective is that those recycled such products usually offer a lower price, which in turn save us students’ money. are typically more affordable (revised for natural tone), allowing students to allocate their limited funds more efficiently. As we all know, university most students are responsible for receiving knowledge from school. So they do not possess any focus on their studies and have little time to take a for part-time job. In light of this, finding a jobs (revised for clarity), opting for used or recycled product could items can be regarded as a compelling way to save money. As an illustration, practical approach to budgeting (revised for natural tone). For instance, a laptop, which is kind of can be quite expensive when new, may be available at ordinary times, could be given a fascinating discount because of its recycling. Therefore, people would be bound to choose it. Then they could significantly reduced price if it is refurbished (revised for clarity and natural tone). Consequently, individuals may prefer this option and use the money they save to make more practical budgets. savings for other essential expenses (revised for natural tone).

However, while Paul’s argument regarding While Paul's point about the responsibility of fixing holds repairs has some merits, validity (revised for natural tone), it is crucial important to note that there are also eligible reputable companies to sale reusable things. They have specializing in selling refurbished items (revised for clarity). These businesses often provide contracts to sign and promise according to the fixing issues. Thus, and warranties addressing potential repair issues (revised for natural tone). Therefore, I advice recommend that everyone should consumers choose those companies.such companies when considering used or recycled products to ensure they receive quality items with adequate support (revised for clarity and natural tone).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Purchasing used or recycled products
   - Saving money for university students

2. Affordability
   - Limited funds for students
   - Efficient allocation of resources

3. Practicality
   - Focus on studies
   - Little time for part-time jobs

4. Example: Laptops
   - Expensive when new
   - Significantly reduced price if refurbished

5. Addressing repair concerns
   - Reputable companies specializing in refurbished items
   - Contracts and warranties provided

6. Recommendation
   - Choose reputable companies for used or recycled products
   - Ensure quality items and adequate support

Title: 9 关键词