TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: Directions: You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how well you response presents the points in the leture and their relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific arguments presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：3 连贯性和衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，成功地总结了听力讲座中的观点，并指出了它们是如何挑战阅读材料中提出的论点的。但是，有一些地方可以改进。首先，在描述听力讲座中提到的反驳论点时，尽量使用更具体和详细的词汇来表达。其次，在引用听力讲座中的例子时，可以更清楚地解释它们是如何支持或反驳阅读材料中的论点的。

示例1： 原文：“The listening lecturer disagrees with the theory that there are new findings.” 改进：“The listening lecturer refutes the comet theory by presenting new findings that show the magnetic particles were not caused by a comet collision.”

示例2： 原文：“However, no data shows that, in contrast, showing the same time when the release of methane and atmosphere warming.” 改进：“However, geological data reveals that the climatic warming started happening simultaneously with the escape of methane, which contradicts the theory.”

4.文章结构与组织 在文章结构和组织方面，你需要加强段落之间的逻辑关系和衔接。首先，在引入段落时，简要介绍阅读材料和听力讲座的主题，并指出它们之间的关系。其次，在正文段落中，明确地表达每个段落的主题，并使用恰当的过渡词汇来连接不同的观点。最后，在结论段落中，简要总结文章的主要观点，并强调听力讲座是如何挑战阅读材料中提出的论点的。

示例1： 原文：“Both the reading passage and listening lecturer talk about the topic of Eocene warming which began with 55 million years age with a rapid increase in global temperatures, lasting for 20000 years.” 改进：“The reading passage and listening lecture both discuss the Eocene warming that occurred 55 million years ago. While the reading presents three theories to explain this phenomenon, the lecture challenges each of these theories.”

示例2： 原文：“Firstly, the reading passage suggests because of a change in the position of the continents, the start of the Eocene many ocean currents changed direction as the cause of the Eocene warming.” 改进：“Firstly, while the reading passage attributes the Eocene warming to changes in ocean currents due to continental shifts, the lecture disputes this claim by presenting evidence from computer models.”

5. 语法批改

Both the reading passage and listening lecturer talk about the topic of Eocene warming which began with 55 million years age with a rapid increase in global temperatures, lasting for 20000 years. The reading passage proposes several theories to explain the Eocene warming, however, the reading lecturer thinks that all of theall the(all of the (all the)) theories can’t explain the Eocene warming and put three reasons explainto explain(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) why. Firstly, the reading passage suggests because of a change in the position of the continents, the start of the Eocene many ocean currents changed direction as the cause of the Eocene warming. On the contrary, the listening lecturer opposites the statement that it’s acknowledged that the continentscontinent's(This rule identifies whether there is a missing apostrophe before an 's'.) changing position causes some increase in temperature. But, as the computer model, if the continents changed new directions, it only caused limited amount of heat which couldn’t cause the Eocene warming. Secondly, according to the reading passage, comets struck Earth leading to the increase in atmospheric temperatures and this theory areis(Detects potentially wrong usage of "are") supported by the discovery of magnetic particles in the soil. The listening lecturer disagrees with the theory that there are new findings. It has been proved that the magnetic particles are not caused by comets, but by organisms, the bacteria. Therefore, comets struck couldn’t cause the Eocene warming. Finally, the reading passage put the third theory that the release of methane from ocean into the atmosphere cause greenhouse gas, increasing the atmosphere temperature. The listening lecturer opposites that the theory has a problem of timing. After the methane release into the atmosphere, it needs to take thousands of years to cause greenhouse gas, so the Eocene warming will be produced thousands of years after methane releasing. However, no data shows that, in contrast, showing the same time when the release of methane and atmosphere warming. If it doesn’t take thousands of years, it will too slow to not accumulate methane in the atmosphere.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

Both the reading passage and listening lecture discuss the topic of Eocene warming, which began 55 million years ago with a rapid increase in global temperatures and lasted for 20,000 years. The reading passage proposes several theories to explain the Eocene warming; however, the listening lecturer believes that none of these theories adequately explain the phenomenon and provides three reasons to support this view.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that a change in the position of continents caused many ocean currents to change direction at the start of the Eocene epoch, leading to Eocene warming. In contrast, the listening lecturer argues that although it is true that changes in continent positions would have caused some increase in temperature, computer models show that even when ocean currents started flowing in new directions, they could only transport a limited amount of heat. This amount of heat was much smaller than what would be needed to cause Eocene warming.

Secondly, according to the reading passage, a comet striking Earth led to an increase in atmospheric temperatures. This theory is supported by the discovery of magnetic particles in a layer of clay dating back to the beginning of the Eocene epoch. However, the listening lecturer disagrees with this theory and cites new findings which show that these magnetic particles were not produced by a comet collision but were actually created by primitive one-celled organisms – bacteria. Without this evidence supporting it, the comet theory collapses.

Lastly, the reading passage presents a third theory attributing Eocene warming to methane release from oceans into the atmosphere. Methane is a potent greenhouse gas and its release could cause an increase in atmospheric temperatures. The listening lecturer opposes this theory due to its timing problem: after methane is released into the atmosphere, it takes thousands of years for it to build up and create a greenhouse effect. Geological data does not support this timeline; instead, it shows that climatic warming began at the same time as methane release. Since the warming started simultaneously and not thousands of years later, it could not have been caused by a slow accumulation of methane in the atmosphere. (359 words)

Both the reading passage and listening lecturer talk about lecture discuss the topic of Eocene warming warming, which began with 55 million years age ago (corrected "years age" to "years ago") with a rapid increase in global temperatures, lasting temperatures and lasted for 20000 20,000 years. The reading passage proposes several theories to explain the Eocene warming, warming; however, the reading listening lecturer thinks that all of the believes that none of these theories can’t adequately explain the Eocene warming and put phenomenon (rephrased "can't explain" to "adequately explain") and provides three reasons explain why. to support this view.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests because of that a change in the position of the continents, the start of the Eocene continents caused many ocean currents changed to change direction as the cause of the at the start of the Eocene epoch, leading to Eocene warming. On the contrary, In contrast, the listening lecturer opposites the statement that it’s acknowledged that the continents changing position causes argues (replaced "opposites" with "argues") that although it is true that changes in continent positions would have caused some increase in temperature. But, as the temperature, computer model, if the continents changed models show that even when ocean currents started flowing in new directions, it they could only caused transport a limited amount of heat. This amount of heat which couldn’t was much smaller than what would be needed to cause the Eocene warming.

Secondly, according to the reading passage, comets struck a comet striking Earth leading to the led to an increase in atmospheric temperatures and this theory are temperatures. This theory is supported by the discovery of magnetic particles in the soil. The a layer of clay dating back to the beginning of the Eocene epoch. However, the listening lecturer disagrees with the theory that there are this theory (corrected "disagrees with" instead of "disagrees") and cites new findings. It has been proved that the findings which show that these magnetic particles are were not produced by a comet collision but were actually created by primitive one-celled organisms – bacteria. Without this evidence supporting it, the comet theory collapses.

Lastly, the reading passage presents a third theory attributing Eocene warming to methane release from oceans into the atmosphere. Methane is a potent greenhouse gas and its release could cause an increase in atmospheric temperatures. The listening lecturer opposes (corrected "opposites" to "opposes") this theory due to its timing problem: after methane is released into the atmosphere, it takes thousands of years for it to build up and create a greenhouse effect. Geological data does not support this timeline; instead, it shows that climatic warming began at the same time as methane release. Since the warming started simultaneously and not thousands of years later, it could not have been caused by comets, but by organisms, the bacteria. Therefore, comets struck couldn’t cause the Eocene warming. ¶ Finally, the reading passage put the third theory that the release a slow accumulation of methane from ocean into the atmosphere cause greenhouse gas, increasing the atmosphere temperature. The listening lecturer opposites that the theory has a problem of timing. After the methane release into the atmosphere, it needs to take thousands of years to cause greenhouse gas, so the Eocene warming will be produced thousands of years after methane releasing. However, no data shows that, in contrast, showing the same time when the release of methane and atmosphere warming. If it doesn’t take thousands of years, it will too slow to not accumulate methane in the atmosphere.

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords