TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: Directions: You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response Your response will be judged based on the quality of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and their relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response be 150 to 225 words.Question: Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on Poins Macke in the reading

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：3 连贯性和衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，文章回应了题目要求，概述了听力中的观点以及它们如何对阅读中的理论产生质疑。然而，文章在引用听力中的具体事实和细节方面可以做得更好。为了提高任务完成度，请确保充分利用听力材料中的信息，并详细说明它们是如何对阅读材料产生质疑的。

例1： 原文：The professor continues to discredit the writer’s assertions that those people found leaking liquid which could be a danger of explosion and they escaped to the lifeboat by examining that leaking liquid was so smell that people could easily find it but they did not mention it. 改进：The professor continues to discredit the writer’s assertions by stating that there is little evidence of the flammable liquid leaking, as no strong smell was mentioned by the sailors who discovered the abandoned ship.

例2： 原文：It is the professor’s third point that those experienced sailors would not stay at the lifeboat which contradict the view of the writer that captain ordered people to the lifeboat and they reached the nearby island. 改进：The professor's third point challenges the view of the writer by arguing that experienced sailors would not have abandoned a still-functional ship for a small lifeboat, as it would have been much riskier than staying on board.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构可以进一步改进。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结论，但各段落的焦点和细节支持不够明确。为了提高文章的组织性，请确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点，并使用恰当的过渡词来连接各个段落。

例1： 原文：As opposed the point of the writer that those people were attacked by pirates and taken to board captive, the professor states that almost nothing valuable missed which was unlikely for pirates. 改进：Contrary to the writer's claim that the crew was attacked by pirates and taken captive, the professor argues that this theory is unlikely, as almost nothing valuable was missing from the ship.

例2： 原文：It is the professor’s third point that those experienced sailors would not stay at the lifeboat which contradict the view of the writer that captain ordered people to the lifeboat and they reached the nearby island. 改进：Lastly, the professor challenges the writer's view that the captain ordered everyone into a lifeboat to reach a nearby island by arguing that experienced sailors would not have abandoned a still-functional ship for a small lifeboat.

5. 语法批改

Explanations about what ten people had experienced in the Mary Celeste is focusthe focus(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) of both the writer and the professor. In the reading, three theories have been elaborated. The professor, however, claims that all such assumptions are not convincing.

As opposed theto the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) point of the writer that those people were attacked by pirates and taken to board captive, the professor states that almost nothing valuable missedmissed,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which was unlikely for pirates. She advances the theory by saying that the main reason for pirates to attack people was to demand money exchanging for leasing them. But no one heard the demanddemand,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) and valuable thing on the ship did not miss.

The professor continues to discredit the writer’s assertions that those people found leaking liquid which could be a danger of explosion and, and(comma between independent clauses) they escaped to the lifeboat by examining that leaking liquid was so smellsmelled(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) that people could easily find it but, but(comma between independent clauses) they did not mention it. In detail, she points out that the liquid had strong smell and last for a long time. Those people who stayed around for a while would notice it.

It is the professor’s third point that those experienced sailors would not stay at the lifeboatlifeboat,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which contradict the view of the writer that captainthe captain(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) ordered people to the lifeboat and, and(comma between independent clauses) they reached the nearby island. To explore deeper, the professor contends that those experienced people would stay on the ship which was still good to sail rather than use lifeboatthe lifeboat(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) to rescue others.

An apparent divide exists between the writer and the professor on theories about those people’s experience.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The mystery surrounding the fate of the ten people aboard the Mary Celeste is the subject of both the reading passage and the lecture. The reading presents three theories to explain their disappearance, while the professor in the lecture argues that none of these theories are convincing.

Contrary to the reading's suggestion that pirates attacked and captured the crew, the professor points out that nothing valuable was missing from the ship, which would be unusual for pirates. Furthermore, she explains that pirates typically demanded ransom in exchange for releasing captives, but no such demands were ever made for those aboard the Mary Celeste.

The second theory presented in the reading is that flammable liquid leaked from barrels on board, posing an explosion risk and causing the crew to escape on a lifeboat. However, the professor refutes this by noting that such leaks produce a strong odor that lingers for a long time. The sailors who discovered the abandoned ship did not report any smell, casting doubt on this theory.

Lastly, while the reading posits that water leakage and a malfunctioning pump led to fears of sinking and prompted evacuation to a lifeboat, the professor disagrees. She contends that since Mary Celeste was still floating when found, it could have continued sailing to nearby Santa Maria Island. As experienced sailors, it is unlikely they would have abandoned ship for a riskier lifeboat journey.

In conclusion, there is a clear disagreement between both sources regarding plausible explanations for what happened to those aboard Mary Celeste. (256 words)

Explanations about what Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The experiences of the ten people had experienced in aboard the Mary Celeste is are the focus of both the writer and the professor. In the reading, three theories have been elaborated. The professor, however, claims that all such are elaborated upon, while the professor argues that none of these assumptions are not convincing.

As opposed the point of the writer Contrary to the writer's claim that those people were attacked by pirates and taken to board captive, the professor states that almost nothing valuable missed was missing, which was would be unlikely for pirates. She advances the theory by saying that the main reason for further explains that pirates to attack people was typically attacked people to demand money exchanging for leasing them. But ransom in exchange for their release, but no one heard the demand and valuable thing such demands were ever made, and no valuables were missing from the ship.

The professor also disputes the writer's assertion that those people discovered a dangerous leak of flammable liquid and escaped on the a lifeboat. She explains that such leaks produce a strong odor that lingers for a long time, making it easy to detect. However, those who found the abandoned ship did not miss. ¶ The professor continues to discredit the writer’s assertions that those people found leaking liquid which could be a danger of explosion and they escaped to the lifeboat by examining that leaking liquid was so smell that people could easily find it but they did not mention it. In detail, she points out that the liquid had strong smell and last for a long time. Those people who stayed around for a report any smell, casting doubt on this theory.

Lastly, while would notice it. ¶ It is the professor’s third point that those the writer suggests that experienced sailors would not stay at the have evacuated to a lifeboat which contradict the view of the writer that captain ordered people to the lifeboat and they reached the nearby island. To explore deeper, the professor due to water leakage and a malfunctioning pump causing fears of sinking, the professor disagrees. She contends that those these experienced people sailors would stay have stayed on the ship which board since Mary Celeste was still good to sail floating when found and could have continued sailing to nearby Santa Maria Island rather than use lifeboat to rescue others. ¶ An apparent risk using a lifeboat.

In conclusion, there is a clear divide exists between the writer and the professor on theories about those people’s experience.both sources regarding plausible explanations for what happened to those aboard Mary Celeste.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Mary Celeste mystery
   - Reading passage theories
   - Lecture's counterarguments

2. Pirates Theory
   - Reading: pirates attacked and captured crew
   - Lecture: no valuables missing, no ransom demands

3. Flammable Liquid Theory
   - Reading: liquid leak, explosion risk, crew escaped on lifeboat
   - Lecture: no lingering odor reported by sailors

4. Water Leakage and Malfunctioning Pump Theory
   - Reading: water leakage, pump failure, fears of sinking, evacuation to lifeboat
   - Lecture: ship still floating, could have sailed to Santa Maria Island

5. Conclusion
   - Disagreement between sources on plausible explanations for Mary Celeste's fate.

9. Keywords

Section Title: 6. Article Revision

The mystery surrounding the fate of the ten people aboard the Mary Celeste is the subject of both the reading passage and the lecture. The reading presents three theories to explain their disappearance, while the professor in the lecture argues that none of these theories are convincing.

Contrary to the reading's suggestion that pirates attacked and captured the crew, the professor points out that nothing valuable was missing from the ship, which would be unusual for pirates. Furthermore, she explains that pirates typically demanded ransom in exchange for releasing captives, but no such demands were ever made for those aboard the Mary Celeste.

The second theory presented in the reading is that flammable liquid leaked from barrels on board, posing an explosion risk and causing the crew to escape on a lifeboat. However, the professor refutes this by noting that such leaks produce a strong odor that lingers for a long time. The sailors who discovered the abandoned ship did not report any smell, casting doubt on this theory.

Lastly, while the reading posits that water leakage and a malfunctioning pump led to fears of sinking and prompted evacuation to a lifeboat, the professor disagrees. She contends that since Mary Celeste was still floating when found, it could have continued sailing to nearby Santa Maria Island. As experienced sailors, it is unlikely they would have abandoned ship for a riskier lifeboat journey.

In conclusion, there is a clear disagreement between both sources regarding plausible explanations for what happened to those aboard Mary Celeste.