TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: 1

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 2 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 17 (2.5)

3.任务完成度 任务完成度方面，文章没有提及阅读和听力材料的内容，因此无法判断其是否回答了问题。为了改进这一点，建议在文章中明确引用阅读和听力材料的观点，并对这些观点进行比较和分析。

Example 1: In the reading passage, it is mentioned that public libraries provide a valuable resource for children to develop their reading skills. However, the listening passage contradicts this by stating that many children nowadays prefer using electronic devices for reading.

Example 2: The author of the reading passage argues that public libraries serve as a cultural hub for communities, while the speaker in the listening passage claims that online resources can also fulfill this role.

4.文章结构与组织 In terms of organization, the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could be improved by providing clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs and focusing on specific points from the reading and listening passages.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

• Use transitional phrases to guide readers through your essay and show how ideas are connected.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on comparing or contrasting specific points from both the reading and listening passages.

Example 1: Although the reading passage emphasizes the importance of public libraries as a cultural hub, the listening passage counters this argument by stating that online resources can also serve this purpose (transition phrase).

Example 2: While the reading passage suggests that public libraries are essential for children's development, the listening passage argues that electronic devices can also be beneficial for children's reading skills (transition phrase).

5. 语法批改

Personally speaking, constructing public library is a liability for govermentsgovernments(misspelling) and, and(comma between independent clauses) it should be encouraged anymore. Just like what A mentions above, most people nowadays watch electronic books instead of paper books, and I want to add a point that by avoiding building public libraries could govermentsgovernments(misspelling) improve various city infrastracturesinfrastructures(misspelling). This is because building a public library is highly costly, from buying a central place in the downtown area to all the rare books that are hard to find, so not building it can save much money for other uses. For example, when a government in a capital city wants to set a library for citizens, it has to find a much accessible location in the city, which usually means a central area in the city and a high price for the land. Moreover, it will take months, even years, to collect all the books required at the library, many of which are difficult to accquireacquire(misspelling). By avoiding building such a library, a government can simply save the money and improve the current infrastructure, like the roads and bridges, to make people have a higher living standard. Although B makes a point, he forgets that not all kids and their parents have the time they need to spend at a city library.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

Revised Essay:

In my opinion, the construction of public libraries should no longer be considered a priority for governments. As Author A suggests, the majority of people today prefer electronic books over traditional paper books. Additionally, by refraining from building public libraries, governments can allocate resources towards improving various city infrastructures.

Constructing a public library entails significant expenses, ranging from acquiring a centrally located property in the downtown area to procuring rare and hard-to-find books. By not undertaking such projects, governments can save substantial amounts of money for alternative purposes. For instance, when a capital city's government plans to establish a library for its citizens, it must secure an easily accessible location within the city, which typically implies purchasing land in a central area at a high cost. Furthermore, gathering all the necessary books for the library may take months or even years to accomplish, with many of these resources being difficult to obtain.

By opting not to build such libraries, governments can instead utilize these funds to enhance existing infrastructure like roads and bridges, ultimately contributing to an improved standard of living for residents. Although Author B raises a valid point regarding children and their parents benefiting from access to city libraries, it is essential to consider that not all families have the time or resources required to make use of these facilities. Consequently, focusing on more pressing urban development projects may prove more beneficial in addressing the needs of contemporary society. (246 words)

Personally speaking, constructing In my opinion, the construction of public libraries should no longer be considered a priority for governments (reason: more accurate and formal phrasing). As Author A suggests, the majority of people today prefer electronic books over traditional paper books (reason: clearer and more concise). Additionally, by refraining from building public libraries, governments can allocate resources towards improving various city infrastructures (reason: clearer connection between ideas).

Constructing a public library is a liability for goverments and it should be encouraged anymore. Just like what A mentions above, most people nowadays watch electronic books instead of paper books, and I want to add a point that by avoiding building public libraries could goverments improve various city infrastractures. This is because building a public library is highly costly, entails significant expenses, ranging from buying a central place acquiring a centrally located property in the downtown area to all the procuring rare and hard-to-find books that are hard to find, so (reason: improved sentence structure). By not building it undertaking such projects, governments can save much substantial amounts of money for other uses. alternative purposes (reason: clearer phrasing). For example, instance, when a capital city's government in a capital city wants to set plans to establish a library for its citizens, it has to find a much must secure an easily accessible location in within the city, which usually means typically implies purchasing land in a central area in the at a high cost (reason: improved sentence structure and clarity). Furthermore, gathering all the necessary books for the library may take months or even years to accomplish, with many of these resources being difficult to obtain (reason: smoother phrasing).

By opting not to build such libraries, governments can instead utilize these funds to enhance existing infrastructure like roads and bridges, ultimately contributing to an improved standard of living for residents (reason: clearer connection between ideas). Although Author B raises a valid point regarding children and their parents benefiting from access to city and a high price for the land. Moreover, libraries, it will take months, even years, to collect all the books required at the library, many of which are difficult to accquire. By avoiding building such a library, a government can simply save the money and improve the current infrastructure, like the roads and bridges, to make people have a higher living standard. Although B makes a point, he forgets is essential to consider that not all kids and their parents families have the time they need to spend at a city library.or resources required to make use of these facilities (reason: more accurate phrasing). Consequently, focusing on more pressing urban development projects may prove more beneficial in addressing the needs of contemporary society (reason: stronger conclusion that ties back to the main argument).

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Section Title: 8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Thesis statement

- Argument 1: Preference for electronic books
  - Author A's opinion
  - Changing reading habits

- Argument 2: Saving resources for other purposes
  - Cost of library construction
    - Land acquisition
    - Book procurement
  - Alternative uses of funds
    - Infrastructure improvement
    - Standard of living enhancement

- Counterargument: Benefits for children and parents
  - Author B's opinion
  - Time and resource constraints for families

- Conclusion 

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Section Title: 9. Keywords