TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on business. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

整体来说，这篇文章较好地完成了任务要求，表达了作者对于如何度过休闲时间的看法，并给出了个人的理由。但是，为了更好地完成任务，建议在文章中加入更多具体的例子和细节来支持观点。此外，在语言使用和语法方面还有一些需要改进的地方。

示例1：可以在文章中添加一个关于计划性休闲活动带来压力的具体例子，以便更好地支持你的观点。 示例2：为了提高语言准确性，请注意避免使用不正确或不清晰的表达，例如：“It deed broaden my horizen”，应改为“It indeed broadens my horizon”。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面基本合理，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定观点并提供支持细节。然而，在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。

建议1：在引言部分简要介绍两种度过休闲时间的方法，然后明确表达你的观点。 建议2：在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，如“however”，“on the other hand”等，以使文章更连贯。

示例1：在引言部分，可以这样写：“In this essay, I will discuss the two approaches to spending free time - planning activities in advance and having a spontaneous day off - and explain why I prefer the latter.” 示例2：在正文部分，在讨论自己观点时，可以加入过渡词：“On the other hand, having a spontaneous day off allows me to explore new experiences and meet different people without feeling pressured by a schedule.”

5. 语法批改

I am inclined to spend my time off from daily tasks by getting out of routine schedules and having a spontaneous day. Admittedly, the statement of A regarding the benefit of planning her free time is valid to some extent. After all, if we really need to have something done during holiday, it is necessary to make some arrangements before, making sure things will process successfully. But I do not think that we alwayaway(misspelling) have some important and emergency activities to joinjoin,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) such as meeting parents or friends. By contrast, in a general situation, we spend our leisure time without a goal. So I do believe it is more comfortable to escape from the planning, which make us feel pressure and anxious. Without a timetable, I can try some thingsomething(any body (anybody)) unexpected, acquiring more suprisesurprise(misspelling) and well-being. Taking myself as an example, I enjoy walking around in the park not far from my home. I can meet diffrentdifferent(misspelling) people and talk with them without taking time cost into account. It deed broaden my horizenhorizon(misspelling) and give me many inspirations. The topic can change from how meanninglessmeaningless(misspelling) the policy in their company to how interesting to give birth to a child. Even though I have not experientexperiment(misspelling) them, but hearing from other's sharing makes us clam down and forget about the terrible works in week days.

Title: 6 文章修订

In response to the professor's question, I am inclined to embrace a spontaneous approach during my time off from work or school. While Student A's perspective on the benefits of planning free time is valid to some extent, particularly when there are important commitments such as visiting family, I believe that in most cases, leisure time should be unstructured. Free from the constraints of schedules and plans, we can explore new experiences and derive greater satisfaction from our time off.

For instance, I enjoy leisurely strolls in the park near my home, where I can engage in conversations with various individuals without worrying about time constraints. These interactions not only broaden my horizons but also provide me with unique insights and perspectives on diverse topics – from workplace policies to the joys of parenthood. Immersing myself in these spontaneous encounters allows me to unwind and temporarily forget about the stresses of work or school.

In conclusion, while planning may be essential for certain situations, adopting a more spontaneous approach during our free time can lead to unexpected surprises and a heightened sense of well-being. (187 words)

In response to the professor's question, I am inclined to spend my time off from daily tasks by getting out of routine schedules and having embrace a spontaneous day. Admittedly, the statement of A regarding the benefit approach during my time off from work or school (revised for clarity and natural tone). While Student A's perspective on the benefits of planning her free time is valid to some extent. After all, if we really need to have something done during holiday, it is necessary to make some arrangements before, making sure things will process successfully. But I do not think that we alway have some extent (maintained original idea), particularly when there are important and emergency activities to join commitments such as meeting parents or friends. By contrast, in a general situation, visiting family (added specific example), I believe that in most cases, leisure time should be unstructured (clarified position). Free from the constraints of schedules and plans, we spend can explore new experiences and derive greater satisfaction from our leisure time time off (rephrased for smoother flow).

For instance, I enjoy leisurely strolls in the park near my home (simplified phrasing), where I can engage in conversations with various individuals without a goal. So I do believe it is more comfortable to escape from the planning, which make us feel pressure and anxious. Without a timetable, I can try some thing unexpected, acquiring more suprise and well-being. Taking myself as an example, I enjoy walking around in the park worrying about time constraints (revised for clarity). These interactions not far from my home. I can meet diffrent people and talk with them without taking time cost into account. It deed only broaden my horizen and give horizons but also provide me many inspirations. The topic can change from how meanningless the policy in their company to how interesting to give birth to a child. Even though I have not experient them, but hearing from other's sharing makes us clam down and with unique insights and perspectives on diverse topics – from workplace policies to the joys of parenthood (corrected grammar and punctuation). Immersing myself in these spontaneous encounters allows me to unwind and temporarily forget about the terrible works in week days.stresses of work or school (rephrased for better flow).

In conclusion, while planning may be essential for certain situations (acknowledged opposing view), adopting a more spontaneous approach during our free time can lead to unexpected surprises and a heightened sense of well-being (summarized main argument).

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Spontaneous approach
   - Benefits of planning (Student A)
   - Leisure time should be unstructured

2. Example: Leisurely strolls
   - Conversations with various individuals
   - Broadening horizons
   - Unique insights and perspectives

3. Conclusion
   - Planning essential for certain situations
   - Spontaneous approach leads to surprises and well-being

Title: 9 关键词