TOEFL TPO 28 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points mentioned in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the specific points mentioned in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in language use, particularly in terms of grammar and sentence structure. To improve task fulfillment, consider refining your language skills and ensuring that your sentences are clear and concise.

Example 1: Original sentence: "However the professor believes the reasons given are not convincing." Improved sentence: "However, the professor argues that the reasons provided are unconvincing."

Example 2: Original sentence: "So, it would be impossible for Peary to make the trip within 37 days." Improved sentence: "Therefore, it seems unlikely that Peary could have completed his journey within 37 days."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point from the lecture, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph to clearly state what each paragraph will discuss.

Example 1: Original transition: "Firstly, although the committee investigated..." Improved transition: "Firstly, while it is true that a committee investigated..."

Example 2: Original topic sentence (paragraph two): "Secondly, the reading asserts that Peary could finish his trip..." Improved topic sentence (paragraph two): "Secondly, although the reading suggests that Peary's journey was feasible based on Avery's similar expedition..."

5. Grammar

The reading passage gives three reasons to support the claim that Peary actually reached the North Pole in 1909. HoweverHowever, the professor believes the reasons given are not convincing. Firstly, although the committee investigated the expedition and said it wasdeclared it to be true, it was not objective. The committee were made upfriends of Peary's friendsPeary who funded the expedition, and the time it took to investigate the whole thingmatter was only two days, thus,days. Therefore, it was not a careful investigation and could not substantiate the claim that Peary reached the North Pole. Secondly, the reading asserts that Peary could finish acomplete his trip to the North Pole within 37 days based on a similar trip made by Avery who used a similar dogsled. However, the professor notes that Avery's sled did not carry much weight since the supplies were dropped from an airplane. Besides,Furthermore, the weather condition where Avery did his trip was a lot nicer than Peary's. So,Therefore, it would be impossible for Peary to make the trip within 37 days. Thirdly, the reading contends that sun's position calculated from the shadows in Peary's photograph was the evidence that he made the trip. However, the lecturer points out that the camera used to take the photo was primitiveprimitive, and the photo was not in focus, plusfocus. Additionally, this photo has faded and worn so that it wasworn, making it too blurred to make precise calculation. So we cannot becalculations. Therefore, the professor is not confident with the result.

6. Revised Essay

The reading passage presents three arguments supporting the claim that Peary reached the North Pole in 1909. However, the professor in the lecture contends that these reasons are unconvincing and insufficient.

Firstly, the reading mentions that a committee from the National Geographic Society investigated Peary's expedition and concluded he had reached the North Pole. The professor, however, argues that this investigation was not objective, as the committee members were Peary's friends who had financially supported his journey. Furthermore, the investigation only lasted two days, which casts doubt on its thoroughness and reliability.

Secondly, the passage asserts that Peary's 37-day journey to the North Pole is plausible based on Tom Avery's similar expedition using a comparable dogsled. The lecturer disputes this claim by highlighting significant differences between their journeys: Avery carried less weight on his sled due to aerial food drops and experienced more favorable weather conditions than Peary. These factors make it improbable for Peary to have completed his trip within 37 days.

Lastly, while the reading posits that shadows in Peary's photographs provide evidence of his presence at the North Pole through calculations of the Sun's position, the professor challenges this assertion. He explains that Peary used a primitive camera resulting in unfocused images and notes that these photographs have deteriorated over time. Consequently, it is impossible to accurately measure shadows and determine the Sun's position with confidence.

In light of these counterarguments presented by the professor, it becomes evident that there is insufficient evidence to conclusively prove Peary reached the North Pole in 1909. (259 words)

The reading passage gives presents three arguments supporting the claim that Peary reached the North Pole in 1909. However, the professor in the lecture contends that these reasons to support the claim that Peary actually reached the North Pole in 1909. However the professor believes the reasons given are not convincing. unconvincing and insufficient (changed "believes" to "contends" for a stronger assertion).

Firstly, although the the reading mentions that a committee from the National Geographic Society investigated the Peary's expedition and said it was true, it concluded he had reached the North Pole. The professor, however, argues that this investigation was not objective. The objective (added "not" for clarity), as the committee members were made up of Peary's friends who funded the expedition, and the time it took to investigate the whole thing was had financially supported his journey. Furthermore, the investigation only lasted two days, thus, it was not a careful investigation and could not substantiate the claim that Peary reached the North Pole. which casts doubt on its thoroughness and reliability (rephrased for better flow).

Secondly, the reading passage asserts that Peary's 37-day journey to the North Pole is plausible based on Tom Avery's similar expedition using a comparable dogsled. The lecturer disputes this claim by highlighting significant differences between their journeys: Avery carried less weight on his sled due to aerial food drops and experienced more favorable weather conditions than Peary. These factors make it improbable for Peary could finish a to have completed his trip to the North Pole within 37 days based on a similar trip made by Avery who (rephrased for better flow).

Lastly, while the reading posits that shadows in Peary's photographs provide evidence of his presence at the North Pole through calculations of the Sun's position, the professor challenges this assertion. He explains that Peary used a similar dogsled. However, the professor primitive camera resulting in unfocused images and notes that Avery's sled did not carry much weight since the supplies were dropped from an airplane. Besides, the weather condition where Avery did his trip was a lot nicer than Peary's. So, these photographs have deteriorated over time (rephrased for better flow). Consequently, it would be is impossible for to accurately measure shadows and determine the Sun's position with confidence.

In light of these counterarguments presented by the professor, it becomes evident that there is insufficient evidence to conclusively prove Peary to make the trip within 37 days. ¶ Thirdly, the reading contends that sun's position calculated from the shadows in Peary's photograph was the evidence that he made the trip. However, the lecturer points out that the camera used to take the photo was primitive and the photo was not in focus, plus this photo has faded and worn so that it was too blurred to make precise calculation. So we cannot be confident with the result.reached the North Pole in 1909 (rephrased for better flow).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: Peary reached North Pole in 1909
  - Lecture: Reasons are unconvincing and insufficient

- Argument 1: National Geographic Society investigation
  - Reading: Committee concluded Peary reached North Pole
  - Lecture: Investigation not objective, committee members were friends, only lasted two days

- Argument 2: Plausibility of Peary's 37-day journey
  - Reading: Tom Avery's similar expedition supports claim
  - Lecture: Significant differences between journeys (weight, weather), improbable for Peary to complete trip in time

- Argument 3: Shadows in photographs as evidence
  - Reading: Shadows indicate presence at North Pole through Sun's position calculations
  - Lecture: Primitive camera, unfocused images, deterioration over time, impossible to accurately measure shadows

- Conclusion
  - Insufficient evidence to conclusively prove Peary reached North Pole in 1909

9. Key Words

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：3 连贯性和衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

你的文章基本上完成了任务要求，总结了听力中的观点并指出了它们是如何挑战阅读中的观点。但是，你可以更详细地解释听力中的论据，以便更清楚地展示它们是如何反驳阅读文章的。此外，尝试使用更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。

示例1： 原文：“The professor states that this conclusion is bias and without careful examination.” 改进：“The professor argues that the National Geographic Society committee's conclusion is biased and lacks a thorough examination, as it was composed of Peary's close friends who had funded his expedition, and the investigation only lasted for two days.”

示例2： 原文：“To explore deeper, the professor contends that the old photos are faded and blur, by which the sun's position can hardly be calculated.” 改进：“The professor further explains that due to the age and poor quality of Peary's photographs, which are faded and blurry, it is impossible to accurately measure the shadows needed to calculate the Sun's position.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构方面有待改进。虽然你有一个简短的介绍和结论，但它们可以更明确地表达主题和文章的目标。此外，在正文段落中，尝试使用更清晰的主题句来引导每个段落的内容，并确保每个段落都集中在一个特定的观点上。同时，使用更多的过渡词和短语来帮助连接段落和观点。

示例1： 原文：“An apparent divide exists between the writer and the professor on the truth of Peary's North Pole travelling.” 改进：“In conclusion, there is a significant disagreement between the writer and the professor regarding the validity of Peary's claim to have reached the North Pole, as the professor effectively challenges each piece of evidence presented in the reading passage.”

示例2： 原文：“As opposed to the writer's idea that the report of the committee can be trustful,…” 改进：“Contrary to the writer's belief in the credibility of the committee's report, the professor presents several reasons why their conclusion may not be reliable. First, he explains that…”

5. 语法批改

Peary's travel to the North Pole is a focus of both the writer and the professor. In the writing, three evidences, including the judgement by a committee of National Geographic Society, a recent expedition and photos taken by Peary have been elabroatedelaborated(misspelling). The professor, however, claims all such evidences are not convincing.

As opposed to the writer's idea that the report of the committee can be trustful, the professor states that this conclusion is bias and without careful examination. In detail, he piontspoints(misspelling) that the members of the committee are Peary's friends and had fundfunded(Agreement: 'have' + past/present tense) his programmeprogram(misspelling), and the examination only last for 2 days, thus the conclusion can not be convincing.

The professor continue to discredit the writing's assertion that a recent expedition can prove the success of Peary's trip, by examingexamine(misspelling) the fact that the way of (Two consecutive spaces)Ellesmere's travelling is quite different with Peary's. Citing the instance of Ellesmere's sitiuationsituation(misspelling), he advances the theory by saying that Ellesmere used airplanean airplane(This rule identifies whether the article 'an' is missing in a sentence.) to bring food which can reduce the weight, and his weather condition was better than Peary's, leading to the fast arrival. As a result, this expedition has no reference value.

It is the professor's third argument that the pohotosphotos(misspelling) can not prove Peary's arrival at the North Pole, which contradicts the view of the writer that the sun's position feflectedreflected(misspelling) by the shadows in the photos can tell the truth. To explore deeper, the professor contends that the old photos are faded and blur, by which the sun's posotionposition(misspelling) can hardly be caculatedcalculated(misspelling).

An apparent divide exists between the writer and the professor on the truth of (Two consecutive spaces)Peary's North Pole travelling.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The debate surrounding Peary's journey to the North Pole is addressed by both the author and the lecturer. The author presents three pieces of evidence in support of Peary's claim, including a National Geographic Society committee's judgment, a recent expedition, and photographs taken by Peary. However, the lecturer contends that all these pieces of evidence are unconvincing.

Contrary to the author's belief that the committee's report is trustworthy, the lecturer argues that this conclusion is biased and lacks thorough examination. Specifically, he points out that the committee members were Peary's friends who had funded his expedition, and their investigation only lasted for two days. Consequently, their conclusion cannot be deemed reliable.

Furthermore, the lecturer disputes the author's assertion that a recent expedition supports Peary's claim by examining how Ellesmere's journey significantly differed from Peary's. He cites Ellesmere's situation as an example and elaborates on how Ellesmere used airplanes to transport food, reducing sled weight, and experienced better weather conditions than Peary did. As a result, this expedition lacks comparative value.

Lastly, the lecturer challenges the author's view that photographs can confirm Peary's arrival at the North Pole based on shadows revealing the Sun's position. Delving deeper into this argument, he contends that these century-old photos are faded and blurry; thus, accurately calculating the Sun's position becomes nearly impossible.

A clear divide exists between the author and lecturer regarding whether or not Peary truly reached the North Pole. (240 words)

Peary's travel Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The debate surrounding Peary's journey to the North Pole is addressed by both the author and the lecturer (change "writer" and "professor" to "author" and "lecturer" for consistency). The author presents three pieces of evidence in support of Peary's claim, including a focus of both the writer and the professor. In the writing, three evidences, including the judgement by a committee of National Geographic Society, Society committee's judgment, a recent expedition, and photographs taken by Peary (rephrase for clarity). However, the lecturer contends that all these pieces of evidence are unconvincing.

Contrary to the author's belief that the committee's report is trustworthy, the lecturer argues that this conclusion is biased and lacks thorough examination (rephrase for clarity). Specifically, he points out that the committee members were Peary's friends who had funded his expedition, and their investigation only lasted for two days (corrected grammar). Consequently, their conclusion cannot be deemed reliable.

Furthermore, the lecturer disputes the author's assertion that a recent expedition and photos taken supports Peary's claim by Peary have been elabroated. The professor, however, claims all such evidences are not convincing. ¶ As opposed to the writer's idea that the report of the committee can be trustful, the professor states that this conclusion is bias and without careful examination. In detail, he pionts that the members of the committee are Peary's friends and had fund his programme, and the examination only last for 2 days, thus the conclusion can not be convincing. ¶ The professor continue to discredit the writing's assertion that a recent expedition can prove the success of Peary's trip, by examing the fact that the way of examining how Ellesmere's travelling is quite different with Peary's. Citing the instance of journey significantly differed from Peary's (rephrase for clarity). He cites Ellesmere's sitiuation, he advances the theory by saying that situation as an example and elaborates on how Ellesmere used airplane airplanes to bring food which can reduce the transport food, reducing sled weight, and his experienced better weather condition was better conditions than Peary's, leading to the fast arrival. Peary did (corrected grammar). As a result, this expedition has no reference lacks comparative value.

It is the professor's third argument that the pohotos Lastly, the lecturer challenges the author's view that photographs can not prove confirm Peary's arrival at the North Pole, which contradicts the view of the writer that the sun's Pole based on shadows revealing the Sun's position feflected by the shadows in the photos can tell the truth. To explore deeper, the professor (rephrase for clarity). Delving deeper into this argument, he contends that the old these century-old photos are faded and blur, by which the sun's posotion can hardly be caculated. ¶ An apparent blurry; thus, accurately calculating the Sun's position becomes nearly impossible (corrected grammar).

A clear divide exists between the writer and the professor on the truth of Peary's author and lecturer regarding whether or not Peary truly reached the North Pole travelling.(rephrased for clarity).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Debate surrounding Peary's journey to the North Pole
  - Author's support vs. lecturer's skepticism

- Committee's Judgment
  - Author: Trustworthy report from National Geographic Society committee
  - Lecturer: Biased conclusion, members were Peary's friends, insufficient investigation time

- Recent Expedition
  - Author: Supports Peary's claim, similar journey to the North Pole
  - Lecturer: Ellesmere's expedition not comparable, used airplanes and experienced better weather conditions

- Photographs as Evidence
  - Author: Photos confirm Peary's arrival based on Sun's position revealed by shadows
  - Lecturer: Century-old photos are faded and blurry, accurate calculation of Sun's position is impossible 

- Conclusion 
  - Clear divide between author and lecturer regarding Peary's achievement 

9. Keywords

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：3 连贯与衔接：3 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，你的文章在回应问题方面做得不错，你概述了听力中提到的观点，并说明了它们是如何挑战阅读材料中的观点。然而，为了更好地完成任务，建议你在引用听力和阅读材料时更加具体。例如，在描述教授对于照片证据的质疑时，可以详细解释为什么影子无法准确测量太阳位置。

示例1： 原文：And the camera cannot focus one thing, so they is not able to use shadow to verify the Sun’s location. 修改后：The camera's inability to focus clearly and the faded nature of the photographs make it impossible to accurately measure the shadows, which are crucial for determining the Sun's position.

示例2： 原文：Also, when Tom go there, the weather is favorable, but when Peary go there, the weather is not. 修改后：Moreover, Avery encountered highly favorable weather conditions during his journey, unlike Peary who faced unfavorable conditions. This difference in weather could have significantly impacted their travel speeds.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本上是清晰的，但可以通过改进段落划分和使用过渡词汇来提高组织性。首先，在引入听力和阅读材料的观点时，尝试使用更明确的过渡词汇。其次，将每个主要观点分为单独的段落，以便更清晰地组织内容。

示例1： 原文：However, the professor assert that there are Pearts friends in the committee, and they only use two days to invest, they also didn’t invest carefully, so the result is not persuasive. 修改后：However, the professor asserts that the committee members were Peary's friends and they only spent two days on the investigation. Furthermore, they did not examine his records carefully. As a result, their conclusion is not persuasive.

示例2： 原文：By contrast, the professor maintains that Tom used different ways from Peary... 修改后：In contrast to the reading passage's claim, the professor maintains that Avery's journey differed significantly from Peary's...

5. 语法批改

In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the reading passage’s idea that there are three strong evidence to support Peary’s claim. The author claims that the evidence presented in the passage is untenable.

Firstly, according to the reading passage, some people made a committee to invest the truth, after that they declare the Peary’s claims isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") real. However, the professor assertasserts(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) that there are Pearts friends in the committee, and they only use two days to invest, they also didn’t invest carefully, so the result is not persuasive.

Secondly, as can be seen from the reading passage, the British explorer Tom said he useuses(Agreement error: Non-third person/past tense verb with 'he/she/it' or a pronoun) same equipment to reach the North Pole, and he even useuses(Agreement error: Non-third person/past tense verb with 'he/she/it' or a pronoun) less time than Peary. By contrast, the professor maintains that Tom used different ways from Peary, and although they sue similar equipment, his food is taken by airplane, so the slat is lighter than PearysPeary's(misspelling). Also, when Tom go there, the weather is favorable, but when Peary go there, the weather is not. As a result, it is differentis a different(missing article) situation for Peary.

Thirdly, the reading passage indicates that because Peary take photos when he reached the North Pole, so professional people can locate the Sun’s position. And the conclusion is that the Peary’s claims isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") true. Nevertheless, the professor rebuts the reading passage, claiming that the primitive camera is so old, and it is fuzzy to take photos. And the camera cannot focus one thing, so they isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") not able to use shadow to verify the Sun’s location.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The lecture challenges the reading passage's assertion that there are three strong pieces of evidence supporting Peary's claim to have reached the North Pole. The professor argues that the evidence presented in the passage is not convincing.

Firstly, the reading passage states that a committee was formed to investigate Peary's claims, and they ultimately declared his accounts to be accurate. However, the professor contends that this committee consisted of Peary's friends who had financially supported his expedition. Furthermore, their investigation only lasted two days and was not conducted thoroughly, rendering their conclusion unreliable.

Secondly, the reading passage cites British explorer Tom Avery's successful replication of Peary's journey using similar equipment and even completing it in less time as evidence supporting Peary's claim. In contrast, the professor points out significant differences between their expeditions: Avery had a lighter sled due to air-dropped food supplies and experienced more favorable weather conditions than Peary. These disparities undermine the validity of comparing their journeys as proof for Peary's accomplishment.

Lastly, while the reading passage suggests that photographs taken by Peary at the North Pole can be used by experts to determine the Sun's position and verify his claim, the professor refutes this argument. He explains that Peary used a primitive camera with limited focus capabilities which produced fuzzy images. Additionally, these photos have become faded over time, making it impossible to accurately measure shadows and calculate the Sun's position with certainty.

In conclusion, the professor effectively challenges each piece of evidence presented in the reading passage and casts doubt on whether Robert E. Peary truly reached the North Pole as he claimed. (271 words)

In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the reading passage’s idea that there are three strong evidence to support Peary’s claim. The author claims that the evidence presented in the passage is untenable.

Firstly, according to the reading passage, some people made a committee to invest invest(igate) the truth, after that they declare declare(d) the Peary’s claims is (as) real. However, the professor assert assert(s) that there are Pearts Pearts(Peary's) friends in the committee, and they only use use(d) two days to invest, invest(igate), they also didn’t invest invest(igate) carefully, so the result is not persuasive.

Secondly, as can be seen from the reading passage, the British explorer Tom said he use use(d) same equipment to reach the North Pole, and he even use use(d) less time than Peary. By contrast, the professor maintains that Tom used different ways from Peary, and although they sue sue(similar equipment, equipment), his food is taken by airplane, so the slat is airplane(delivered via air drop), so (his sled was lighter than Pearys. Peary's). Also, when Tom go go(went) there, the weather is is(was)favorable, but when Peary go go(went) there, the (he faced harsher weather is not. conditions). As a result, it is different situation result,(these differences create distinct situations for Peary. each explorer).

Thirdly, the reading passage indicates that because Peary take take(took) photos when he reached reached(reaching)the North Pole, Pole,(it allowed experts to analyze them for accuracy). so professional people can locate locate(determine if it showed a correct position of )the Sun’s position. And (Thus,)the conclusion is(that )the Peary’s claims(is that the Peary’s claims is true. Nevertheless, true). Nevertheless,(However,)the professor rebuts the reading passage, claiming that rebuts(refutes)this claim , stating that(claiming)(,)the primitive camera is so old, camera(is)(was )so old,(and produced unclear images due to its limited focus capabilities.)and it is is(was)fuzzy to take photos. And the camera cannot focus one thing, so they is thing,(As a result,)so they is(are) not able to use shadow to verify the Sun’s location.

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords

Section Title: 6. Article Revision

The lecture challenges the reading passage's assertion that there are three strong pieces of evidence supporting Peary's claim to have reached the North Pole. The professor argues that the evidence presented in the passage is not convincing.

Firstly, the reading passage states that a committee was formed to investigate Peary's claims, and they ultimately declared his accounts to be accurate. However, the professor contends that this committee consisted of Peary's friends who had financially supported his expedition. Furthermore, their investigation only lasted two days and was not conducted thoroughly, rendering their conclusion unreliable.

Secondly, the reading passage cites British explorer Tom Avery's successful replication of Peary's journey using similar equipment and even completing it in less time as evidence supporting Peary's claim. In contrast, the professor points out significant differences between their expeditions: Avery had a lighter sled due to air-dropped food supplies and experienced more favorable weather conditions than Peary. These disparities undermine the validity of comparing their journeys as proof for Peary's accomplishment.

Lastly, while the reading passage suggests that photographs taken by Peary at the North Pole can be used by experts to determine the Sun's position and verify his claim, the professor refutes this argument. He explains that Peary used a primitive camera with limited focus capabilities which produced fuzzy images. Additionally, these photos have become faded over time, making it impossible to accurately measure shadows and calculate the Sun's position with certainty.

In conclusion, the professor effectively challenges each piece of evidence presented in the reading passage and casts doubt on whether Robert E. Peary truly reached the North Pole as he claimed.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 2 组织: 2 连贯与衔接: 2 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

14. 3.任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看，文章没有很好地回应题目要求。首先，文章没有明确总结听力部分的观点，而是讨论了与阅读无关的内容。此外，文章没有详细解释听力部分如何挑战阅读中提到的具体观点。为了改进这一方面，你需要仔细审查题目要求，并确保在文章中准确回应。

改进建议：

• 在引言中简要介绍阅读和听力的主要观点。

• 在正文段落中详细解释听力部分如何反驳阅读材料中的每个论点。

示例：

1. "The lecturer disputes the reading passage's claim that Robert Peary reached the North Pole by presenting several counterarguments."

2. "The professor challenges the credibility of the National Geographic Society committee's conclusion by stating that it was biased due to Peary's close friends being on the committee and the short duration of their investigation."

4.文章结构与组织 从组织方面来看，文章缺乏清晰的结构。引言、正文和结论之间没有明确的划分。另外，段落之间缺乏恰当的过渡。为了改善文章的结构和组织，你需要确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题，并使用过渡词或短语来连接不同的观点。

改进建议：

• 在引言中简要介绍文章的主题。

• 在正文段落中，分别讨论听力部分对阅读材料中每个论点的反驳。

• 使用过渡词或短语来连接不同的观点和段落。

示例：

1. "To begin with, the lecturer questions the objectivity of the National Geographic Society committee's investigation."

2. "Furthermore, the professor argues that Tom Avery's journey cannot be used as evidence to support Peary's claim due to significant differences in their expeditions."

5. 语法批改

The professor in the lecture casts doubt on the mentioned explanations and pointing out those are out-of-date based on new research evidence.

L1 The disruption can only affect Europe and North American. But other areas, such as New Zealand and Africa, also entered Ice Age. The influence of disruption is not wide enough to affect such as large area and cause the decline of global temperature.

L2 Although it’s true that volcanic eruptions can lead to cooler climate, these geological activities should produce some visual effects which could be noticed by people, such as sunlight changes and snow ground variations. But there is no report about these visual effects during Ice Age. The volcanic activity is not strong enough to cause the decline of global temperature.

L3 There is no enough time for the human population and CO2 reduction to affect the global temperature changes. Because human population rises quickly, they would cut down the trees in forests to cultivate crops in order to feed the population. Consequently, the time is not long enough to cause a long-term global cooling result.

6.文章修订

The professor in the lecture casts doubt on the claims made in the reading passage regarding Robert E. Peary's expedition to the North Pole, presenting counterarguments based on new research evidence.

Firstly, the reading passage states that the National Geographic Society committee concluded that Peary had indeed reached the North Pole. However, the professor argues that this conclusion is not trustworthy due to the committee's lack of objectivity. The committee was composed of Peary's close friends who had financially supported his trip, and their investigation only lasted two days with no thorough examination of his records. This suggests that their conclusions may be biased and unreliable.

Secondly, the reading passage cites Tom Avery's recent expedition as evidence supporting Peary's claim, as Avery completed a similar trek in less than 37 days using comparable equipment. However, the professor points out significant differences between their journeys that make this comparison invalid. Avery carried much less weight on his sled due to food being dropped by airplane along his route and experienced highly favorable weather conditions, unlike Peary who faced unfavorable conditions. These factors indicate that Avery's speedy trip cannot be used as evidence to support Peary's claims.

Lastly, the reading passage asserts that photographs taken by Peary provide strong evidence for his achievement by allowing calculation of the Sun's position at the North Pole on that day. The professor challenges this claim by explaining that precise measurements of shadows are required for accurate calculations but are impossible with Peary's primitive camera and faded photographs. The blurred and worn shadows in these images cannot be used to determine the Sun's position with certainty, making it unclear whether they were actually taken at the North Pole.

In light of these counterarguments presented by the professor, it becomes evident that there is no solid evidence supporting Robert E. Peary's claim to have reached the North Pole in 1909. (314 words)

Revised essay: The professor in the lecture casts doubt on the mentioned explanations and pointing points out those that they are out-of-date based on new research evidence.

L1

The disruption can is said to only affect Europe and North American. But America. However, other areas, such as New Zealand and Africa, also entered the Ice Age. The influence of the disruption is not wide enough to affect such as a large area and cause the decline of global temperature. temperature (the original claim doesn't account for these other regions experiencing the Ice Age).

L2

Although it’s it's true that volcanic eruptions can lead to a cooler climate, these geological activities should produce some visual effects which could be noticed by people, such as sunlight changes and snow ground variations. But there is no report about these visual effects during the Ice Age. The Age (this implies that volcanic activity is not may not have been strong enough to cause the decline of global temperature. significant temperature decline).

L3

There is no not enough time for the human population growth and CO2 reduction to affect the global temperature changes. Because human population rises quickly, they would cut down the trees in forests to cultivate crops in order to feed the population. Consequently, the time is not long enough to cause a long-term global cooling result.result (the original argument doesn't consider how rapidly human populations can grow and adapt).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Robert E. Peary's expedition to the North Pole
  - Reading passage claims vs. Lecture counterarguments

- Point 1: National Geographic Society committee's conclusion
  - Reading: Committee concluded Peary reached the North Pole
  - Lecture: Committee lacked objectivity, biased and unreliable

- Point 2: Tom Avery's recent expedition as supporting evidence
  - Reading: Avery completed a similar trek in less than 37 days with comparable equipment
  - Lecture: Differences between journeys, Avery's trip not valid evidence for Peary's claim

- Point 3: Photographs as strong evidence for Peary's achievement
  - Reading: Photographs allow calculation of the Sun's position at the North Pole on that day
  - Lecture: Precise measurements impossible with primitive camera and faded photographs, unclear if taken at the North Pole

- Conclusion: No solid evidence supporting Peary's claim to have reached the North Pole in 1909.

9. Keywords

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯性和衔接: 4 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，你成功地概括了听力材料中的观点，并解释了它们是如何挑战阅读材料中的论点的。然而，为了更好地提高任务完成度，建议你在描述听力观点时尽量详细一些，并确保每个观点都与阅读材料中的相应论点紧密相关。

例如：

• 当讲述Avery和Peary之间的区别时，可以更详细地描述他们之间的差异以及这些差异对于两者速度的影响。

• 在谈论照片证据时，可以更深入地探讨为什么这些照片不能作为确凿证据，并解释科学家如何使用这些照片来确定太阳位置。

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定观点及其支持细节。然而，在组织方面还有一些改进空间。首先，在段落之间加入过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。其次，确保每个段落的主题句清晰明了，以便读者能够快速理解每个段落的主要观点。

例如：

• 在描述听力观点与阅读材料之间的对比时，可以使用过渡词如“然而”、“相反地”等来增强连贯性。

• 在正文段落开头，可以使用更明确的主题句来引出听力材料中的观点，如：“在听力材料中，教授指出了国家地理学会委员会可能存在偏见的问题。”

5. 语法批改

In the reading material,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) author presents three reasons backing the view that Peary did reach the pole.Yet Yet(Missing space between sentences), the lecturer contends that the reasons are not solid and not convincing and refutes the arguments in the reading. First and foremost,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) author asserts that a committee held by Nationalthe National(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) Geographic Society investigated Peary's records and equipment.The The(Missing space between sentences) committee concluded that Peary had indeed reached the North Pole.In In(Missing space between sentences) contrast, the lecturer disagrees,claiming, claiming(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) that the committee is composed of many friends of Peary,which, which(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) provide financial assistance to Peary.Additionally Additionally(Missing space between sentences),the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) investigation only lasted two days,which, which(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) seemed not very careful. Second,the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) text suggests that skeptics used to argue that Peary could not have traveled that fast,which, which(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) took 37 days to reach the North Pole, but another explorer named Avery made the same trek in less than 37 days.Oppositely Oppositely(Missing space between sentences),the, the(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) lecturer rebuts this with proposing that Avery had less weight on his way to the North Pole, as the plane would send him food so he didn't have to carry so much weight as Peary did.What What(Missing space between sentences)'s more, the weather condition is also different.The The(Missing space between sentences) weather Avery experienced is more than capable. Last but not least, the author maintains that the pictures taken by Peary could approve his claim, as the shadows of the sun in the photographs make it possible to calculate the Sun's position in the sky.The The(Missing space between sentences) sun's position established from the photographs corresponds exactly to the sun's position as it should have been at the North Pole on that day.However However(Missing space between sentences), the lecturer critiques this,arguing, arguing(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) that because of the primitive camera used by Peary couldn't provide the precise measurement.The The(Missing space between sentences) pictures will become faded over time.It It(Missing space between sentences) is taken so early that it couldn't accurately tell the position of the sun on that day.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

In the reading material, the author presents three reasons supporting the view that Peary reached the North Pole. However, the lecturer contends that these reasons are not solid or convincing and refutes the arguments in the reading.

First and foremost, the author asserts that a committee held by National Geographic Society investigated Peary's records and equipment, concluding that he had indeed reached the North Pole. In contrast, the lecturer disagrees, claiming that the committee was composed of many friends of Peary who provided financial assistance to him. Additionally, the investigation only lasted two days, which seemed insufficiently thorough.

Second, the text suggests that skeptics used to argue that Peary could not have traveled fast enough to reach the North Pole in 37 days. However, another explorer named Avery made a similar trek in less than 37 days. Oppositely, the lecturer rebuts this by proposing that Avery had less weight on his journey to the North Pole since a plane would send him food; thus, he didn't have to carry as much weight as Peary did. Furthermore, Avery experienced more favorable weather conditions.

Lastly, the author maintains that photographs taken by Peary could support his claim since shadows of the sun in these images make it possible to calculate its position in the sky. The sun's position established from these photographs corresponds exactly to where it should have been at the North Pole on that day. However, the lecturer critiques this argument by pointing out that Peary's primitive camera couldn't provide precise measurements and pictures have become faded over time. As a result, it is difficult to accurately determine sun's position based on those photographs. (277 words)

In the reading material,the material, the author presents three reasons backing supporting the view that Peary did reach the pole.Yet, reached the North Pole (changed "backing" to "supporting" for a more natural tone). However, the lecturer contends that the these reasons are not solid and not or convincing and refutes the arguments in the reading.

First and foremost,the foremost, the author asserts that a committee held by National Geographic Society investigated Peary's records and equipment.The committee concluded that Peary equipment, concluding that he had indeed reached the North Pole.In Pole. In contrast, the lecturer disagrees,claiming disagrees, claiming that the committee is was composed of many friends of Peary,which provide Peary who provided financial assistance to Peary.Additionally,the him (rephrased for clarity). Additionally, the investigation only lasted two days,which days, which seemed not insufficiently thorough (changed "not very careful. careful" to "insufficiently thorough" for a more formal tone).

Second,the Second, the text suggests that skeptics used to argue that Peary could not have traveled that fast,which took fast enough to reach the North Pole in 37 days to reach the North Pole, but days. However, another explorer named Avery made the same a similar trek in less than 37 days.Oppositely,the days. Oppositely, the lecturer rebuts this with by proposing that Avery had less weight on his way to the North Pole, as the journey to the North Pole since a plane would send him food so food; thus, he didn't have to carry so as much weight as Peary did.What's more, the weather condition is also different.The weather did (rephrased for clarity). Furthermore, Avery experienced is more favorable weather conditions (changed "more than capable. capable" to "more favorable" for better context).

Last but not least, Lastly, the author maintains that the pictures photographs taken by Peary could approve support his claim, as the claim since shadows of the sun in the photographs these images make it possible to calculate the Sun's its position in the sky.The sky. The sun's position established from the these photographs corresponds exactly to the sun's position as where it should have been at the North Pole on that day.However, day. However, the lecturer critiques this,arguing that because of the this argument by pointing out that Peary's primitive camera used by Peary couldn't provide the precise measurement.The measurements and pictures will have become faded over time.It time (rephrased for clarity). As a result, it is taken so early that it couldn't difficult to accurately tell the determine sun's position of the sun based on that day.those photographs (rephrased for better flow).

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords

Section Title: 6. Article Revision

In the reading material, the author presents three reasons supporting the view that Peary reached the North Pole. However, the lecturer contends that these reasons are not solid or convincing and refutes the arguments in the reading.

First and foremost, the author asserts that a committee held by National Geographic Society investigated Peary's records and equipment, concluding that he had indeed reached the North Pole. In contrast, the lecturer disagrees, claiming that the committee was composed of many friends of Peary who provided financial assistance to him. Additionally, the investigation only lasted two days, which seemed insufficiently thorough.

Second, the text suggests that skeptics used to argue that Peary could not have traveled fast enough to reach the North Pole in 37 days. However, another explorer named Avery made a similar trek in less than 37 days. Oppositely, the lecturer rebuts this by proposing that Avery had less weight on his journey to the North Pole since a plane would send him food; thus, he didn't have to carry as much weight as Peary did. Furthermore, Avery experienced more favorable weather conditions.

Lastly, the author maintains that photographs taken by Peary could support his claim since shadows of the sun in these images make it possible to calculate its position in the sky. The sun's position established from these photographs corresponds exactly to where it should have been at the North Pole on that day. However, the lecturer critiques this argument by pointing out that Peary's primitive camera couldn't provide precise measurements and pictures have become faded over time. As a result, it is difficult to accurately determine sun's position based on those photographs.

1.Sub Scores

Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 4 Coherence and Cohesion: 4 Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness

The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the specific points mentioned in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more detailed explanations and examples from both the reading and listening materials. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer introduction that briefly outlines the main arguments from both sources.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples from both the reading and listening materials to support your points.

• Make sure to clearly introduce the main arguments from both sources in your introduction.

Examples:

1. Instead of just stating that "the investigation requires a lot of money," provide more context by mentioning that Peary's close friends funded his trip and were part of the committee, which may have led to biased conclusions.

2. When discussing Tom Avery's journey, mention that he had less weight on his sled due to not carrying food, which could have contributed to his faster travel time compared to Peary.

4.Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of transitions between ideas and paragraphs, as well as providing more detailed supporting information within each paragraph.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve coherence.

• Expand on supporting details within each paragraph to provide a more thorough analysis.

Examples:

1. In your second body paragraph, use a transition like "On the other hand" or "However" before introducing Tom Avery's journey as a counterpoint to Peary's claim.

2. When discussing the photographs taken by Peary, provide more context about why precise measurements of the shadows are necessary for determining the Sun's position and how the quality of Peary's photographs makes this difficult.

5. Grammar

The reading material presents three arguments to support the truth of a claim that Robert E. Peary reached the pole onin(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) 1909, while the lecture in the listening material claims that these arguments are unconvincing and reputes the points made in readingthe reading(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) passage.

Firstly, the author asserts that the National Geographic Society provides a strong evidence to support Peary's claim by conducting a thorough investigation of his records and equipment. However, the lecture disputes the viewpoint by stating that the investigation is not objective. The investigation requires a lot of money, and thus the National Geographic Society only spends 2 days to conduct this thorough investigation. Therefore, this conclusion is bias and should be trusted.

Secondly, the author states that Peary's claims are possible, since a British explorer recently made the same trek in less than 37 days as a same condition as Peary had. Nevertheless, the lecturer challenges this argument by pointing out that the British explorer made the same trek in a different condition. The British explorer used airplane to obtain food, and the weather condition is not as same as Peary confronted.

Thirdly, the author suggests that some photographs can prove the truth of Peary's claim by measuring the shadows and calculating the sun's position in these photographs. In contrast, the lecturer claims that photographs are fade and thus there may be a not accurate calculation of sun's position. As a result, the photographs cannot prove the truth of Peary's claim.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading material presents three arguments to support the truth of a claim that Robert E. Peary reached the North Pole in 1909, while the lecture in the listening material claims that these arguments are unconvincing and refutes the points made in the reading passage.

Firstly, the author asserts that the National Geographic Society provides strong evidence to support Peary's claim by conducting a thorough investigation of his records and equipment. However, the lecture disputes this viewpoint by stating that the investigation is not objective. The committee was composed of Peary's close friends who had contributed large sums of money to fund his trip, and they only spent two days on this investigation. Therefore, their conclusion may be biased and should not be trusted.

Secondly, the author states that Peary's claims are possible since a British explorer recently made the same trek in less than 37 days under similar conditions as Peary had. Nevertheless, the lecturer challenges this argument by pointing out that there were significant differences between their expeditions. The British explorer used an airplane to obtain food and encountered highly favorable weather conditions, unlike Peary who traveled in very unfavorable conditions. Thus, their experiences cannot be directly compared to support Peary's claims.

Thirdly, the author suggests that some photographs can prove the truth of Peary's claim by measuring shadows and calculating the sun's position in these photographs. In contrast, the lecturer claims that these photographs are faded and taken with a primitive camera which resulted in fuzzy images; thus, there may not be an accurate calculation of sun's position from them. As a result, these photographs cannot conclusively prove whether or not Peary reached the North Pole. (284 words)

Section Title: 7. Essay Grading

The reading material presents three arguments to support the truth of a claim that Robert E. Peary reached the pole on North Pole in 1909, while the lecture in the listening material claims that these arguments are unconvincing and reputes refutes (changed "reputes" to "refutes" for correct word usage) the points made in the reading passage.

Firstly, the author asserts that the National Geographic Society provides a strong evidence (added "strong" for emphasis) to support Peary's claim by conducting a thorough investigation of his records and equipment. However, the lecture disputes the this viewpoint by stating that the investigation is not objective. The investigation requires a lot of money, and thus the National Geographic Society committee was composed of Peary's close friends who had contributed large sums of money to fund his trip (revised for clarity and accuracy), and they only spends 2 spent two days to conduct on this thorough investigation. Therefore, this their conclusion is bias may be biased (changed "bias" to "biased" for correct word usage) and should not be trusted.

Secondly, the author states that Peary's claims are possible, possible since a British explorer recently made the same trek in less than 37 days as a same condition under similar conditions as Peary had. Nevertheless, the lecturer challenges this argument by pointing out that the British explorer made the same trek in a different condition. there were significant differences between their expeditions (revised for clarity). The British explorer used an airplane to obtain food, and the food and encountered highly favorable weather condition is not as same as conditions, unlike Peary confronted. who traveled in very unfavorable conditions (revised for clarity). Thus, their experiences cannot be directly compared to support Peary's claims.

Thirdly, the author suggests that some photographs can prove the truth of Peary's claim by measuring the shadows and calculating the sun's position in these photographs. In contrast, the lecturer claims that these photographs are fade and thus faded (changed "fade" to "faded" for correct word usage) and taken with a primitive camera which resulted in fuzzy images; thus, there may not be a not an accurate calculation of sun's position. position from them (revised for clarity). As a result, the these photographs cannot conclusively prove the truth of Peary's claim.whether or not Peary reached the North Pole.

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8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading material: supports Peary's claim
  - Lecture: refutes reading material's arguments

- Argument 1: National Geographic Society investigation
  - Reading material: strong evidence from investigation
  - Lecture: biased committee, short investigation time

- Argument 2: Comparison with British explorer
  - Reading material: similar trek completed in less time
  - Lecture: differences in expeditions, weather conditions, and resources

- Argument 3: Photographic evidence
  - Reading material: shadows and sun position calculations prove claim
  - Lecture: faded photos, primitive camera, inaccurate calculations

- Conclusion:
  - Lecturer's refutations weaken the reading material's arguments for Peary's claim.

9. Key Words