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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on public policy. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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题目概览

Doctor Gupta

This week, we will be discussing a shortage of affordable housing that exists in many countries. In these places, housing-both apartments (flats) and houses--are expensive, because populations are growing faster than new housing is being built. Now, think about places in your country that have a housing shortage. In your post, I would like you to indicate the most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in your country. Please explain why you think so.

Claire

In my country, there is a lack of affordable housing in the big cities. Low-cost housing exists in areas outside of the cities, but that means workers have long commutes to reach their jobs in the cities. I recommend that my government create initiatives to encourage the construction of large buildings with many affordable apartments in cities.

Paul

Claire's recommendation is fine, but many people prefer to live in a house rather than an apartment, even if they have longer commutes. Living in a house can be quieter and more private. So, I believe my government should give subsidies or tax relief to construction companies to build small, affordable single-family houses on unused land that surrounds many cities.

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1

用户样本 #1

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing project...

分数
28

用户样本

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

评估结果

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5 Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好,有效地回答了问题,并提出了一个明确的观点。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在文章中提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持观点。此外,尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构来增强表达能力。

Example 1: Instead of "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.", you could write "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes in strategic locations, such as near public transportation hubs, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand more effectively."

Example 2: Instead of "Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates.", you could write "Increased spending on public housing not only allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates but also promotes social integration and reduces income inequality."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面做得很好,有清晰的引言、主体和结论。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在段落之间添加更明确的过渡句子,以便读者更容易理解观点之间的联系。此外,确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句,以便读者更好地了解每个段落的重点。

Example 1: Instead of starting the second sentence with "With populations growing...", you could write "Considering the rapid population growth and the inability of private development to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens."

Example 2: Add a transition sentence between the second and third sentences, such as "This approach not only addresses the immediate housing shortage but also contributes to long-term social stability." Then continue with "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand."

5. 语法批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community. (124 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7 文章批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. projects (reason: clarifies the focus of the essay). With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, up (explanation: highlights the problem), only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. citizens (reason: emphasizes the role of government). By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, homes (explanation: explains how it can be done), the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. demand (reason: shows potential outcome). Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. rates (explanation: describes benefits). It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.community (reason: concludes with a strong statement about government's role).

8 思维导图


- 1. Introduction
  - Housing shortage issue
  - Government responsibility

- 2. Public housing projects
  - Direct funding for construction
  - Affordable apartments and homes

- 3. Closing the gap
  - Housing supply and demand

- 4. Benefits of increased spending
  - Access to safe, stable shelters
  - Costs below market rates

- 5. Government action and responsibility fulfillment 

- 6. Conclusion 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
housing shortage/ˈhaʊzɪŋ/ /ˈʃɔrtɪdʒ/noun phrasea lack of available homes or apartments for people to live in房屋短缺The government must address the housing shortage in our country.
investment/ɪnˈvɛstmənt/nounthe act of putting money, effort, time, etc., into something to make a profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc., used to do this投资Increasing investment in public housing projects can help solve the problem.
public sector/ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈsɛktər/noun phrasethe part of an economy that is controlled by the government and its agencies rather than by private companies or individuals; often refers to government-funded services and industries such as education, healthcare, and public transportation systems.公共部门(政府部门)The public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.
affordable/əˈfɔrdəbəl/adjectiveinexpensive; reasonably priced负担得起的,价格适中的Affordable apartments and homes are essential for citizens.
construction/kənˈstrʌkʃən/nounthe process of building something, especially a large structure such as a house, bridge, or road建筑,建设Direct funding for construction can help increase the number of available homes.
supply and demand/səˈplaɪ/ /ænd/ /dɪˈmænd/noun phrasethe amount of goods available to be bought compared with the amount that people want to buy; often used to explain how prices are determined in a market economy供求关系The government needs to balance housing supply and demand.
stable shelter/ˈsteɪbəl/ /ˈʃɛltər/noun phrasea safe and secure place to live or stay in, especially during difficult times or conditions稳定的住所Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters.
market rates/ˈmɑrkɪt/ /reɪts/noun phrasethe current price or value of something in a competitive marketplace, often used as a benchmark for determining appropriate prices for goods or services市场价格Public housing projects can provide homes at costs below current market rates.
responsibility/rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪlɪti/noun 1.something that it is your job or duty to deal with 2.the state of having control over and being in charge of someone or something责任
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相关性与贡献

回答是否针对问题并为讨论做出有意义的贡献?

语言运用

语法准确性、词汇丰富度和句式结构质量。

论述与支撑

观点是否充分展开,是否有具体例子和清晰推理支撑?

回答中的常见模式

基于对该题目用户提交内容的分析,以下是在学生回答中观察到的常见模式。

很多学生能清楚表达观点,但缺乏具体的论据支撑。

高分回答会直接引用阅读段落和其他发言者的观点。

更高分的回答使用多样化的句式结构和学术词汇。

时间管理是关键因素——匆忙完成的回答在论述发展方面得分较低。

学习建议

1

在开始写作前仔细阅读题目,理清问题的所有组成部分。

2

在回答中引用阅读段落和其他同学的观点。

3

使用具体例子来支持你的主要论点——避免笼统的表述。

4

目标字数120-150词。更长的回答不一定更好;清晰度和针对性更重要。

5

进行限时练习(10分钟),在考试条件下提升写作流畅度。

常见问题

什么是托福学术讨论任务?
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学术讨论任务如何评分?
该任务按0-5分评分,评估维度包括与讨论的相关性、语言运用质量(语法、词汇、句式结构)以及你如何用具体例子和推理来发展和支持自己的观点。
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