TOEFL TPO 17 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
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Doctor Achebe
Next, we’ll be discussing the future of higher education, focusing on proposals for making postsecondary education (education after high school) more efficient and more accessible. One such proposal is to make class attendance optional. For instance, under an optional-attendance policy, university students could choose not to attend classes but instead study the course materials and acquire the knowledge on their own time. Their grade would then be based entirely on exams or papers. What are your thoughts on this approach?
Claire
I like the idea of optional attendance. University students have a lot going on, and sometimes it’s difficult to make it to class. As long as students are held accountable for the information they’re supposed to learn, I don’t see why they should have to attend every class session, especially for classes that meet multiple times a week.
Andrew
I have to disagree with Claire. I think that class attendance policies foster another important kind of accountability. They teach discipline and responsibility. Many of the jobs that university or trade school students will pursue after graduation have their own attendance policies, so students should see class attendance as good preparation for entering the workforce.
用户样本与评估结果
用户样本
I concur with Claire's viewpoint that university students can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university students must pay more attention on themselves align their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledges in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhace themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in the class.
评估结果
1. 子项得分
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
Estimated Score: 27
3. 任务完成度
您的文章在回应问题方面做得很好，但仍有改进的空间。首先，您需要更详细地解释为什么允许学生选择不上课会对他们有益。其次，您可以提供一些具体的例子来支持您的观点，这将使您的论据更有说服力。
改进示例1: 例如，通过参加实习或志愿者活动，学生可以在现实世界中应用所学知识，并从中获得宝贵经验。
改进示例2: 此外，在线教育资源和远程学习工具使得学生可以在自己适合的时间和地点进行学习，从而提高了学习效率。
4. 文章结构与组织
文章整体结构清晰，但可以通过以下方式进行优化：首先，在引言部分简要介绍一下讨论话题，并明确表达您的观点。其次，在正文部分为每个主要观点提供一个段落，并使用恰当的过渡词来连接不同段落。最后，在结论部分总结您的观点并呼应引言。
改进示例1: 引言：在当前的高等教育环境中，许多人提议实行自主出勤政策。我同意克莱尔的观点，认为这种政策有助于学生更好地利用时间并提高自身能力。
改进示例2: 过渡词：然而，这种自主出勤政策也可能带来一些负面影响。例如，缺乏课堂纪律可能导致学生难以适应职场环境。
5. 语法批改
I concur with Claire's viewpoint that university students can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university students must pay more attention onto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) themselvesthemselves,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) alignto align(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledgesknowledge(misspelling) in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhaceenhance(misspelling) themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in the class.
Section Title: 6 文章修订
Revised Essay: I agree with Claire's perspective that university students should have the option to not attend classes, with their grades being determined solely by exams or papers. In today's competitive job market, it is essential for students to focus on developing both their soft and technical skills. Engaging in various activities, such as internships related to their major or exploring diverse industries and cultures, can significantly contribute to their overall growth. Consequently, this equips them with comprehensive knowledge and experiences necessary for meeting workplace demands. An optional-attendance policy presents a valuable opportunity for university students to optimize their time management and enhance personal development by allocating time that would otherwise be spent in class towards more enriching experiences. (123 words)
Revised Essay: I concur agree with Claire's viewpoint perspective (1) that university students should have the option to not attend classes, with their grades being determined solely by exams or papers (2). In today's competitive job market, it is essential for students to focus on developing both their soft and technical skills (3). Engaging in various activities, such as internships related to their major or exploring diverse industries and cultures, can significantly contribute to their overall growth (4). Consequently, this equips them with comprehensive knowledge and experiences necessary for meeting workplace demands (5). An optional-attendance policy presents a valuable opportunity for university students to optimize their time management and enhance personal development by allocating time that would otherwise be spent in class towards more enriching experiences (6).
(1) Changed "I concur with Claire's viewpoint" to "I agree with Claire's perspective" for a more natural tone.
(2) Reworded "can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university papers" for clarity.
(3) Reworded "university students must pay more attention on themselves align their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating skills" for better flow and clarity.
(4) Combined two sentences into one and rephrased "participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students on" for conciseness.
(5) Changed "students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledges in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhace themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in work" to improve grammar and clarity.
(6) Reworded the class.last sentence for better flow and coherence.
8 思维导图
- 主题: 大学生可选择不上课，成绩完全由考试或论文决定
- 竞争激烈的就业市场
- 学生需要发展软技能和技术技能
- 参加各种活动
- 与专业相关的实习
- 探索不同行业和文化
- 全面的知识和经验
- 满足职场需求
- 可选择性出勤政策
- 时间管理优化
- 提高个人发展水平
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| perspective | /pərˈspektɪv/ | noun | a particular way of considering something | 观点 | Claire's perspective on the issue is worth considering. |
| competitive | /kəmˈpetɪtɪv/ | adjective | determined to win or be more successful | 竞争激烈的 | The job market is highly competitive these days. |
| internship | /ˈɪntərnʃɪp/ | noun | a temporary position with an emphasis on training and gaining experience in a specific field. | 实习 | She completed an internship at a prestigious company last summer. |
| diverse | /daɪˈvɜrs/ | adjective | showing a great deal of variety | 多样的 | The students come from diverse backgrounds and cultures. |
| comprehensive | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/ | adjective | complete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something. | 全面的 | She has a comprehensive knowledge of the subject. |
| optional | /ˈɒpʃənl/ | adjective | available to be chosen but not obligatory | 可选择的 | Attendance at the meeting is optional. |
| attendance | /əˈtendəns/ | noun | the action of being present at an event, meeting, etc. | 出勤 | Attendance is required for all employees at the monthly meeting. |
| time management | /taɪm ˈmænɪdʒmənt/ | noun | the ability to use one's time effectively or productively, especially at work. | 时间管理 | Good time management skills are essential for success in college. |
| personal development | /ˈpɜrsənl dɪˈveləpmənt/ | noun | activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, and enhance quality of life. | 个人发展 | She focused on personal development by attending workshops and reading self-help books. |
学术讨论评分标准
托福学术讨论任务基于ETS官方评分标准进行评估。AI评估系统从多个维度分析每个回答。
相关性与贡献
回答是否针对问题并为讨论做出有意义的贡献？
语言运用
语法准确性、词汇丰富度和句式结构质量。
论述与支撑
观点是否充分展开，是否有具体例子和清晰推理支撑？
回答中的常见模式
基于对该题目用户提交内容的分析，以下是在学生回答中观察到的常见模式。
很多学生能清楚表达观点，但缺乏具体的论据支撑。
高分回答会直接引用阅读段落和其他发言者的观点。
更高分的回答使用多样化的句式结构和学术词汇。
时间管理是关键因素——匆忙完成的回答在论述发展方面得分较低。
学习建议
在开始写作前仔细阅读题目，理清问题的所有组成部分。
在回答中引用阅读段落和其他同学的观点。
使用具体例子来支持你的主要论点——避免笼统的表述。
目标字数120-150词。更长的回答不一定更好；清晰度和针对性更重要。
进行限时练习（10分钟），在考试条件下提升写作流畅度。
常见问题
什么是托福学术讨论任务？
学术讨论任务如何评分？
本页面上的用户样本是什么？
AI评估的准确度如何？
如何练习这道学术讨论题目？
学术讨论回答应该多长？
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