TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: 0801 Writing Task 1

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 22

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of addressing the specific requirements of the task by summarizing the author's points and contrasting them with the speaker's counterarguments. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific details from both the reading and listening passages to support each point. Additionally, some points could be better explained or clarified.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific details from both the reading and listening passages to support each point.

• Explain or clarify certain points to make them more convincing.

Examples:

1. Instead of just mentioning that passing through Nicaragua Canal will take three times longer than using Panama Canal, provide specific reasons why this is the case (e.g., geographic features, water levels).

2. When discussing the reforestation efforts by canal builders, include more information about their commitment and any potential challenges they may face in achieving their goals.

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from improved organization within paragraphs and clearer transitions between ideas.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Organize each paragraph around a single main point with supporting details.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve coherence.

Examples:

1. In the first body paragraph, start by stating that "the speaker disagrees with the author's claim that a Nicaragua Canal would reduce travel distance significantly." Then provide supporting details from both passages before moving on to the next point.

2. Use transition phrases like "On the other hand," "Furthermore," or "In contrast" to connect different ideas within paragraphs or between paragraphs. This will help guide readers through your argument more smoothly.

5. Grammar

The author and the speaker discussed about the development of Nicaragua Canal as a new alternative for goods distributionsdistribution between Asia and United States. While the author conveys several improvementimprovements that can be offered by the used ofuse of the Nicaragua Canal, the speaker areis in doubt withabout this idea for several reason: reasons: First, even though there areis a possibility of distance reduceby up to 500 nautical miles by using the Nicaragua CanalCanal, as stated by the author, the speaker emphasizeemphasizes that the distance areis not reducing significantlysignificantly. This is because there are much more time needed to pass the very broadthrough the vast area of Nicaragua land.Nicaragua. Passing onthrough the Nicaragua Canal, as stated by the speaker, will take estimated 3three times longer than using the Panama Canal as the distribution point. Second, the author pointed out that the new-build Canalcanal will provide more advantages because it can receive the transit of larger shipships with more freight on it compared to the Panama Canal. However, the speaker disagreedisagrees with it, sincethis, as the capability of Nicaragua Canal to receive larger ship will beships will depend on the level of water and has proveproven to be inconsistent. Third and last, the speaker also doubt the authordoubts the author's opinion regarding the reforestation conducted by the builders of Nicaragua Canal, since it will be too good to be true action made by them.the Nicaragua Canal. The speaker mentionedmentions that the broad diversity ecosystem of Nicaragua havehas already impacted by deforestation anddeforestation. Therefore, it will be not enough to conduct reforestation to compensate it. In conclusion, the author and the speaker have a different opinionopinions regarding the use of Nicaragua Canal for the future. While the author beingis optimistic for the use of this canal, the speaker emphasizeemphasizes her doubt bydoubts for several reasons as mentioned above.

6. Revised Essay

The author and the speaker discuss the development of the Nicaragua Canal as a new alternative for goods distribution between Asia and the United States. While the author highlights several improvements that can be offered by utilizing the Nicaragua Canal, the speaker expresses doubt about this idea for various reasons.

Firstly, although there is a possibility of reducing distance by up to 500 nautical miles using the Nicaragua Canal, as stated by the author, the speaker emphasizes that this reduction is not significant because much more time is needed to traverse the vast area of Nicaraguan land. According to the speaker, passing through the Nicaragua Canal would take an estimated three times longer than using the Panama Canal as a distribution point.

Secondly, the author asserts that constructing a new canal would provide more advantages because it could accommodate larger ships with increased freight capacity compared to the Panama Canal. However, the speaker disagrees with this assertion since the ability of Nicaragua Canal to receive larger ships depends on water levels which have proven to be inconsistent.

Lastly, regarding reforestation efforts conducted by builders of Nicaragua Canal, as mentioned by the author, the speaker casts doubt on their feasibility. The diverse ecosystem of Nicaragua has already been impacted by deforestation and merely conducting reforestation may not be sufficient to compensate for it. The speaker implies that such actions might be too good to be true.

The author and speaker hold differing opinions on utilizing Nicaragua Canal in future shipping endeavors. While optimism surrounds its potential benefits according to the author, several concerns raised by the speaker highlight potential drawbacks that must be considered before moving forward with its construction. (282 words)

The author and the speaker discussed about discuss (discussed) the development of the Nicaragua Canal as a new alternative for goods distributions distribution (distributions) between Asia and the United States. While the author conveys highlights (conveys) several improvement improvements that can be offered by utilizing (the used of of) the Nicaragua Canal, the speaker expresses doubt (are in doubt with doubt) about this idea for various reasons (several reason: reason).

First, even though Firstly (First), although there are is a possibility of reducing distance reduce by up to 500 nautical miles by using the Nicaragua Canal Canal, as stated by the author, the speaker emphasize that the distance are emphasizes that this reduction is not reducing significantly significant because there are much more time is needed to pass the very broad traverse (pass) the vast area of Nicaragua Nicaraguan land. Passing on Nicaragua Canal, as stated by According to the speaker, will passing through (on) the Nicaragua Canal would take estimated 3 an estimated three times longer than using the Panama Canal as the a distribution point.

Second, Secondly (Second), the author pointed out that the new-build Canal will asserts that constructing a new canal would provide more advantages because it can receive the transit of could accommodate larger ship ships with increased freight capacity compared to (with more freight on it compared to to) the Panama Canal. However, the speaker disagree disagrees with it, this assertion since the capability ability of Nicaragua Canal to receive larger ship will be depend ships depends on the level of water and has prove levels which have proven to be inconsistent.

Lastly (Third and last, the speaker also last), regarding reforestation efforts conducted by builders of Nicaragua Canal, as mentioned by the author, the speaker casts doubt the author opinion regarding the on their feasibility. The diverse ecosystem of Nicaragua has already been impacted by deforestation and merely conducting reforestation conducted by the builders of Nicaragua Canal, since it will may not be sufficient to compensate for it. The speaker implies that such actions might be too good to be true action made by them. true.

The speaker mentioned that the broad diversity ecosystem of Nicaragua have already impacted by deforestation and it will be not enough to conduct reforestation to compensate it. ¶ In conclusion, the author and the speaker have a different opinion regarding the use of Nicaragua Canal for the future. speaker hold differing opinions on utilizing Nicaragua Canal in future shipping endeavors. While the author being optimistic for the use of this canal, the speaker emphasize her doubt by optimism surrounds its potential benefits according to the author, several reasons as mentioned above.concerns raised by the speaker highlight potential drawbacks that must be considered before moving forward with its construction.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Development of Nicaragua Canal
   - Author's optimism vs. Speaker's doubt

2. Distance Reduction
   - Author: 500 nautical miles shorter
   - Speaker: Longer traversal time, not significant

3. Accommodating Larger Ships
   - Author: Increased freight capacity
   - Speaker: Inconsistent water levels, not reliable

4. Reforestation Efforts
   - Author: Builders conducting reforestation
   - Speaker: Doubts feasibility, insufficient compensation

5. Conclusion
   - Differing opinions on Nicaragua Canal usage
   - Potential benefits vs. drawbacks to consider before construction

9. Key Words