TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Write a formal complaint email to the university •Think about an issue that you dislike or has gotten worse since you started university (Don’t worry it’s not a real complaint letter. Only I will read it, I promise) •Examples of complaints could be canteen issues, bus problems or complaints about unreasonable university rules

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5.0 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好，提出了一个具体的问题，并给出了一些建议。但是，为了更好地满足TOEFL iBT写作要求，可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 更详细地描述问题及其影响；

2. 提供更多具体的解决方案。

英文示例：

1. "Last winter, some buildings in our school were under intense construction, causing a constant noise disturbance that affected students' daily lives, including their ability to concentrate on their studies and sleep well at night."

2. "In addition to planting trees and using noise reduction equipment, the university could also consider adjusting the construction schedule so that it does not interfere with students' study time or rest periods."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织基本上是清晰的，包括引言、正文和结尾。然而，在以下方面可以进行改进：

1. 在引言中更明确地提出问题；

2. 在正文中使用更清晰的段落划分来阐述问题和解决方案。

简体中文建议：

1. 在引言部分更明确地提出问题；

2. 使用更清晰的段落划分来阐述问题和解决方案。

英文示例：

1. "I am writing to express my concerns about the ongoing construction noise on campus, which has been causing significant disturbances to students' daily lives and academic performance."

2. "To address this issue, I propose the following solutions: (1) planting trees in front of the construction site to minimize noise pollution; (2) using noise reduction equipment and sound absorption materials; and (3) improving the efficiency of construction to shorten its duration."

5. 语法批改

Dear Sir or Madam: Madam, Since I enteredhave been at university for more than three years, I have completely got accustomed to life here and I also findhere, and I have recently noticed an imperfection recently.issue that I feel compelled to address. I am writing to convey themy discontentment and bring upto offer some humble opinions. suggestions. As is known to all, university is a place wherethat nurtures the spirit of mankind and equips students with professional skills and true pursuit of their life. It is obliged to provide students with perfect modern facilities and convenient living conditions in an attempt to foster a sufficiently comfortable atmosphere for study. Nevertheless,However, an unacceptable problem has appeared and leftarisen and has had a negative impact on studentsstudents, both physically and emotionally. Last winter, some buildings in our school were under intense construction. Since then,As a result, the annoying noise had been made day and night,was a constant presence, lasting more than ten hours a day, which placedhad a serious negative effectseffect on daily life of students.lives. Some fellowsstudents even claimed that they could hear the undesired sound from their dormitories. Several complaints concerning the problemregarding this issue have been raised, but the situation has been brought up. However, the situation was not slightly alleviated. I wasimproved. I am wondering whetherif it iswould be possible for relevant administrators to have a negotiationnegotiate with personnel in charge of the construction site on behalf of ourthe school. In light ofConsidering the current circumstance we encounter,circumstances, some necessary measures are supposedneed to be taken. From my perspective, what if plantingwhy not plant some trees in front of the site to minimize the spread of undesired noises? Moreover,Additionally, it is highly suggested to adopt noise reduction equipment and sound absorption materials. Last but not least, improving the efficiency of construction is of great significance to resolve thein resolving this problem. I would appreciate it if you could take my suggestions into serious account. I am lookingconsideration. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely, Una Ovens

Section Title: Addressing Construction Noise on Campus

Dear Sir or Madam:

Having been a student at this university for over three years, I have grown accustomed to campus life and its many facets. However, I have recently identified an issue that has negatively impacted the well-being of students, both physically and emotionally. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction and offer some potential solutions.

As we all know, a university is responsible for nurturing the minds of its students while equipping them with professional skills and guiding their personal development. To achieve this, it is essential to provide modern facilities and comfortable living conditions that foster an optimal learning environment. Unfortunately, a recent problem has arisen that hinders our ability to fully benefit from such an atmosphere.

During the previous winter season, several buildings on campus underwent extensive construction work. The resulting noise persisted day and night, often lasting more than ten hours each day. This constant disturbance significantly disrupted the daily lives of students; some even reported hearing the noise from within their dormitories. Despite numerous complaints being lodged, no improvement has been observed thus far. I propose that relevant administrators engage in discussions with those responsible for the construction site on behalf of our school.

Given the current situation, it is imperative that appropriate measures be implemented to address this issue. One possible solution could involve planting trees near the construction site to help reduce noise pollution. Additionally, utilizing noise reduction equipment and sound-absorbing materials could further alleviate disturbances experienced by students. Lastly, enhancing construction efficiency would undoubtedly contribute to resolving this problem more swiftly.

I sincerely hope you will consider my suggestions and take action to improve the quality of life for all students on campus. Your prompt attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Yours faithfully,

Una Ovens (303 words)

Addressing Construction Noise on Campus

Dear Sir or Madam:

Since I entered Having been a student at this university for more than over three years, years (revised for clarity and natural tone), I have completely got grown accustomed to campus life here and and its many facets. However, I also find have recently identified an imperfection recently. issue that has negatively impacted the well-being of students, both physically and emotionally (revised for clarity). I am writing to convey the discontentment and bring up express my dissatisfaction and offer some humble opinions. potential solutions.

As is known to all, we all know, a university is a place where nurtures the spirit responsible for nurturing the minds of mankind and equips its students while equipping them with professional skills and true pursuit of guiding their life. It personal development (rephrased for natural tone). To achieve this, it is obliged essential to provide students with perfect modern facilities and convenient comfortable living conditions in that foster an attempt to foster optimal learning environment (rephrased for clarity). Unfortunately, a sufficiently comfortable atmosphere for study. Nevertheless, an unacceptable recent problem has appeared and left a negative impact arisen that hinders our ability to fully benefit from such an atmosphere (revised for natural tone).

During the previous winter season, several buildings on students physically and emotionally. ¶ Last winter, some buildings in our school were under intense construction. Since then, the annoying campus underwent extensive construction work (rephrased for clarity). The resulting noise had been made persisted day and night, often lasting more than ten hours a day, which placed serious negative effects on each day (revised for natural tone). This constant disturbance significantly disrupted the daily life lives of students. Some fellows students; some even claimed that they could hear the undesired sound reported hearing the noise from within their dormitories. Several dormitories (rephrased for clarity). Despite numerous complaints concerning the problem being lodged, no improvement has been brought up. However, the situation was not slightly alleviated. observed thus far (revised for natural tone). I was wondering whether it is possible for propose that relevant administrators to have a negotiation engage in discussions with personnel in charge of those responsible for the construction site on behalf of our school. ¶ In light of school (rephrased to sound more formal).

Given the current circumstance we encounter, some necessary measures are supposed to be taken. From my perspective, what if planting some trees in front of the site to minimize the spread of undesired noises? Moreover, situation, it is highly suggested to adopt imperative that appropriate measures be implemented to address this issue (revised for natural tone). One possible solution could involve planting trees near the construction site to help reduce noise pollution (simplified sentence structure). Additionally, utilizing noise reduction equipment and sound absorption materials. Last but not least, improving the sound-absorbing materials could further alleviate disturbances experienced by students (simplified sentence structure). Lastly, enhancing construction efficiency of construction is of great significance to resolve the problem. would undoubtedly contribute to resolving this problem more swiftly (rephrased for natural tone).

I would appreciate it if sincerely hope you could take will consider my suggestions into serious account. I am looking forward to your reply. ¶ Sincerely, and take action to improve the quality of life for all students on campus (revised for natural tone). Your prompt attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated (rephrased for politeness).

Yours faithfully,

Una Ovens

Display title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Campus life
   - Issue: construction noise
   - Purpose: express dissatisfaction and offer solutions

2. University Responsibilities
   - Nurturing minds
   - Equipping with professional skills
   - Guiding personal development

3. Problem Description
   - Construction during winter season
   - Noise lasting more than 10 hours daily
   - Disruption of daily lives and well-being

4. Complaints and Lack of Improvement
   - Numerous complaints lodged
   - No improvement observed

5. Proposed Solutions
   1) Engage in discussions with construction site personnel 
   2) Plant trees near construction site 
   3) Utilize noise reduction equipment and sound-absorbing materials 
   4) Enhance construction efficiency 

6. Conclusion 
    - Sincerely hope for consideration of suggestions 
    - Request prompt attention to improve quality of life on campus 

Display title: 9 关键词