TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: When making major purchase (for example, car or laptop), our decisions can be influenced by different sources of information. Which of the following would most influence your decision? (1) recommendations from friends or colleagues (2)information from media (for example, TV, magazines, newspapers)

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好，但仍有一些可以改进的地方。首先，可以在正文部分提供更多详细的例子来支持观点。其次，在论述为什么在线信息更适合个人需求时，可以进一步阐述和举例说明。

改进建议示例： 1）在正文部分，你可以提到具体的在线资源，如消费者报告网站或技术博客，以展示在线信息的广泛性和可靠性。 2）在论述为什么在线信息更适合个人需求时，你可以详细说明如何通过比较不同用户评论和评分来找到最符合自己需求的产品。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面表现良好，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间加入过渡句子会使文章更连贯。此外，在正文段落中使用主题句来明确每个段落的主要观点也会有所帮助。

改进建议示例： 1）在第一个正文段落之前加入过渡句子，如：“首先，让我们探讨在线信息的效率优势。” 2）在正文段落中使用主题句，如：“在线评论和评分系统为消费者提供了宝贵的信息来源，帮助他们做出明智的购买决策。”

5. 语法批改

In response to the professor’s thought-provoking question, I prefer to rely on information online. I concur with Claire that searching online will be much more efficient. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that information online is often more suitable for you since examined from a different perspective, you can get more comprehensive knowledge of your purchasing.

Drawing from personal experience, I’d like to pay more attention to the comments where everyone gives their own opinion about the products, (Two consecutive spaces)containing their after-sales service and attitude towards customers. Through this feedback, I can make a better decision involved with long-term consideration.

While Paul’s argument regarding the potential advantage that friends know better about our preferences, (Two consecutive spaces)it overlooks the fact that misunderstanding may occur. Besides, it is crucial to acknowledge that some personal preferences are hard to tell. Blindly following your friends’ advice may lead to dissatisfaction.

Title: 6 文章修订

In response to the professor's intriguing inquiry, I am inclined to depend on online information when making purchasing decisions. I agree with Claire that conducting an internet search is significantly more efficient. Moreover, I would like to emphasize that online information is often better tailored to one's needs, as it allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the product in question.

Drawing from personal experience, I find it particularly beneficial to examine customer reviews, where individuals share their opinions on various aspects of the product, including after-sales service and customer relations. By analyzing this feedback, I can make a more informed decision that takes long-term factors into consideration.

While Paul raises a valid point about friends having a better understanding of our preferences, his argument fails to address the possibility of miscommunication or misinterpretation. Furthermore, it is essential to recognize that some personal preferences may be difficult to discern. Blindly following friends' advice could ultimately result in dissatisfaction with the purchased product. (165 words)

In response to the professor’s thought-provoking question, professor's intriguing inquiry[reason: more natural phrasing], I prefer am inclined to rely depend on online information online. when making purchasing decisions. I concur agree with Claire that searching online will be much conducting an internet search is significantly more efficient. Furthermore, efficient[reason: clearer and more concise]. Moreover, I would like to emphasize that online information online is often more suitable better tailored to one's needs[reason: clearer phrasing], as it allows for you since examined from a different perspective, you can get more comprehensive knowledge understanding of your purchasing. the product in question.

Drawing from personal experience, I’d like I find it particularly beneficial to pay more attention to examine customer reviews[reason: clearer phrasing], where individuals share their opinions on various aspects of the comments where everyone gives their own opinion about the products, containing their product, including after-sales service and attitude towards customers. Through customer relations. By analyzing this feedback, I can make a better more informed decision involved with that takes long-term consideration. factors into consideration[reason: clearer and more concise].

While Paul’s Paul raises a valid point about friends having a better understanding of our preferences, his argument regarding fails to address the potential advantage that friends know better about our preferences, it overlooks the fact that misunderstanding may occur. Besides, possibility of miscommunication or misinterpretation[reason: clearer phrasing]. Furthermore, it is crucial essential to acknowledge recognize that some personal preferences are hard may be difficult to tell. discern[reason: clearer and more concise]. Blindly following your friends’ friends' advice may lead to dissatisfaction.could ultimately result in dissatisfaction with the purchased product[reason: clearer phrasing].

8 思维导图

- Online Information
    - Efficiency
        - Internet search
    - Better tailored to needs
        - Comprehensive understanding

- Customer Reviews
    - Opinions on various aspects
        - After-sales service
        - Customer relations
    - Informed decision-making
        - Long-term factors consideration

- Friends' Advice Limitations
    - Miscommunication or misinterpretation risks
    - Difficulty in discerning personal preferences 
    - Potential dissatisfaction with the product 

9 关键词