TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: In your opinion, which is the better strategy for making purchasing decisions.relving on advice from friends and family, or depending on information from online sources?Why?

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

你的文章基本上回答了问题，但是有一些地方可以改进。首先，你可以在论述中提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。其次，尽量避免使用重复的词汇和表达，以增加文章的多样性。

Example 1: Instead of "We can online everywhere and find the information we need fast.", you could write "We can access the internet from anywhere, allowing us to quickly find the information we need."

Example 2: Instead of "But someone like to share their used feelings on the web, so you can realized the products from more facets.", you could write "Many people share their experiences with products online, which provides a broader perspective on their advantages and disadvantages."

4. 文章结构与组织

从结构和组织方面来看，你的文章需要进行一些调整。首先，应该有一个明确的引言、正文和结论。其次，在每个段落中集中讨论一个具体的观点，并提供支持细节。最后，确保在不同观点和段落之间有清晰的过渡。

Example 1: You could start your essay with an introduction like this: "When it comes to making purchasing decisions, people often rely on advice from friends and family or information from online sources. In my opinion, depending on online sources is a better strategy for the following reasons."

Example 2: For a clear transition between ideas, you could write: "While friends and family may have a good understanding of our preferences, online sources offer a wider range of opinions and experiences that can help us make more informed decisions."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I prefer to search some information online because I think I can retain more comprehensive advice. Firstly, with technology developing rapidly, the web is very convenient now. We can online everywhere and find the information we need fast. Actually, your parents or friends can not accompany withaccompany by(Collocation: accompany with/by) you anytime, so maybe they can not give you aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') answer in time. But you will take your phone no matter where you go ,, (Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)so going online is a better choice. Secondly, your parents and friends isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") indeed familiar with you, maybe their suggestion is suitable for you. But someone like to share their used feelings on the web, so you can realizedrealize(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) the products from more facets. It is a better method to help you make a choice.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my opinion, relying on online sources for making purchasing decisions is a more effective strategy due to the comprehensive nature of the information available. The rapid development of technology has made the internet easily accessible, allowing us to find the information we need quickly. While friends and family may not always be available to provide advice, our phones are constantly with us, making online research a more convenient option. Additionally, although friends and family may know our preferences well, online sources offer a broader range of perspectives from users who share their experiences with products. This allows us to gain insights from multiple angles, ultimately facilitating better-informed decisions. (114 words)

In my opinion, I prefer to search some information online (revised for clarity: relying on online sources for making purchasing decisions) because I think I can retain more comprehensive advice. Firstly, with technology developing rapidly, the web is very convenient now. now (revised for coherence: The rapid development of technology has made the internet easily accessible). We can online everywhere and (revised for grammar and clarity: allowing us to find the information we need fast. quickly). Actually, your parents or friends can not accompany with you anytime, anytime (revised for clarity and tone: While friends and family may not always be available to provide advice), so maybe they can not give you a answer in time. time (revised for coherence: our phones are constantly with us, making online research a more convenient option). But you will take your phone no matter where you go ,so going online is a better choice. choice (removed as it repeats the previous point). Secondly, your parents and friends is indeed familiar with you, you (revised for grammar and clarity: although friends and family may know our preferences well), maybe their suggestion is suitable for you. you (rephrased to connect with the next point: online sources offer a broader range of perspectives). But someone like to share their used feelings on the web, web (revised for clarity and tone: from users who share their experiences with products), so you can realized the products from more facets. facets (revised for grammar and clarity: This allows us to gain insights from multiple angles). It is a better method to help you make a choice.choice (rephrased to conclude paragraph: ultimately facilitating better-informed decisions).

Display title: 8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Online sources for purchasing decisions
   - Comprehensive information

2. Technology development
   - Internet accessibility
   - Quick information retrieval

3. Convenience
   - Friends and family availability
   - Constant phone access

4. Broader perspectives
   - User experiences with products
   - Multiple angles for insights

5. Better-informed decisions

6. Conclusion 

Display title: 9 关键词

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my opinion, relying on online sources for making purchasing decisions is a more effective strategy due to the comprehensive nature of the information available. The rapid development of technology has made the internet easily accessible, allowing us to find the information we need quickly. While friends and family may not always be available to provide advice, our phones are constantly with us, making online research a more convenient option. Additionally, although friends and family may know our preferences well, online sources offer a broader range of perspectives from users who share their experiences with products. This allows us to gain insights from multiple angles, ultimately facilitating better-informed decisions.