TOEFL TPO 43 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific theories presented in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 3

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 2

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 20

3.Task completeness The essay does address the specific requirements of the task by summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the theories presented in the reading passage. However, there are some inaccuracies and misunderstandings in the content, which affect the overall clarity of the essay. To improve task fulfillment, ensure that you accurately represent both the reading passage and lecture's main points. Additionally, work on providing clearer explanations for how each point from the lecture challenges a specific theory from the reading passage.

Example 1: Original sentence: "On the contrary, the professor refutes that by emphasizing if they good at chasing the prays, agnostid must have developed eyes." Improved sentence: "On the contrary, the professor refutes this theory by emphasizing that if agnostids were good at chasing prey, they would need to have well-developed eyes."

Example 2: Original sentence: "However, the lecturer asserts that it is not an ability to help them move fast, instead, they can spread largely and even able to move fast." Improved sentence: "However, according to the lecturer, agnostids' ability to inhabit multiple geographic areas suggests that they were able to move quickly across large distances – an unusual trait for seafloor dwellers."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each theory from both sources (reading passage and lecture), and a conclusion. However, some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences or transitions between ideas. To improve organization and coherence within your essay:

• Begin each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces its main point.

• Use transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your essay and connect ideas more smoothly.

Example 1: Original sentence: "First, according to the reading passage, the author claims that these agnostids have the ability of free-swimming..." Improved sentence: "Firstly, the reading passage suggests that agnostids may have been free-swimming predators due to their ability to hunt smaller animals."

Example 2: Original sentence: "Second, the author puts forward an example to analogy the behavior of aginostid, since the arthropods have dwelled on the seafloor." Improved sentence: "Secondly, the reading passage proposes that agnostids could have been seafloor dwellers based on similarities with other arthropods' behaviors."

5. 语法批改

The author of the reading passage discusses the theories about the behavior and eat habits of the agnostidsagnostics(misspelling), which is a group of marine animals that beacamebecame(misspelling) extinct about 450 million years go. However, the professor of the lecturer challenges all 3 notions, and then put forward her explanations.

First, according to the reading passage, the author claims that these agnostidsagnostics(misspelling) have the ability of free-swimming, causebecause(confusion of cause vs. because) they can hunt smaller animals easily. This ability contibutecontribute(misspelling) to better chase the prayprey(Detects potentially wrong usage of "pray" instead of "prey"). evenEven(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) if they only six kilometers long. On the contrary, the professor refutes that by emphasizing if they good at chasing the prays, agnostidagnostic(misspelling) must have the developed eyes. Actually, they were blind and used the special sensory to chase the prays, but there were never recorded. Therefore, people can not assertsassert(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) that they are free-swimming predators.

Second, the author puts forward an example to analogy the behavior of aginostidagnostic(misspelling), since the arthropods have dwelled on the seafloor. Consequently, the author also speculates that the aginostidagnostic(misspelling) have the same ability. However, the lecturer asserts that it is not an ability to help them move fast, instead, they can spread largely and even able to move fast. As a result, it is unusual to sea floor dwellers.

At last, the professor casts doubt on the population of organisms, since the author claims that agnoatidsagnostics(misspelling) were parasites, living on and feeding off larger organisms. While organisms will decline, if the aginatidsagitated(misspelling) ate the organisms. Consequently, it contradicts to the therorytheory(misspelling) of the aginostidsagnostics(misspelling) were parasites. The population rule out thisisthesis(misspelling) theory.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage presents three theories about the lifestyle and eating habits of agnostids, a group of extinct marine animals that lived around 450 million years ago. However, the lecturer challenges each of these theories and provides her own explanations.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that agnostids may have been free-swimming predators capable of hunting smaller animals due to their ability to chase prey effectively, despite their small size. In contrast, the lecturer disputes this by emphasizing that efficient predators would require well-developed eyes for tracking prey. In reality, agnostids were often blind and relied on special sensory organs to locate prey; however, there is no evidence supporting this in the fossil record. Thus, it cannot be concluded that they were free-swimming predators.

Secondly, the author proposes that agnostids may have dwelled on the seafloor like other primitive arthropods. Consequently, it is speculated that agnostids possessed similar abilities. However, the lecturer contends that this would not enable them to move quickly or cover large distances. Instead, they would have been limited to localized areas rather than spreading across vast regions. The fact that many agnostid species inhabited multiple geographic areas spread over large distances suggests they were capable of moving rapidly – an unusual trait for seafloor dwellers.

Lastly, the lecturer casts doubt on the theory that agnostids were parasites living on and feeding off larger organisms as suggested by the author. The population of parasites must remain within certain limits; otherwise, they could kill off their host organisms. However, it is believed that many agnostid populations were quite large based on the vast amounts of fossilized individuals found. This significant population size contradicts the theory that agnostids were parasites and rules out this possibility. (290 words)

The author of the reading passage discusses the presents three theories about the behavior and eat lifestyle and eating habits of the agnostids, which is a group of extinct marine animals that beacame extinct about lived around 450 million years go. ago (revised for clarity and accuracy). However, the professor of the lecturer challenges all 3 notions, and then put forward each of these theories and provides her explanations. own explanations (revised for natural tone).

First, according to Firstly, the reading passage, the author claims that these agnostids passage suggests that agnostids may have the ability of free-swimming, cause they can hunt been free-swimming predators capable of hunting smaller animals easily. This due to their ability contibute to better to chase the pray. even if they only six kilometers long. On the contrary, the professor refutes that prey effectively, despite their small size (revised for clarity). In contrast, the lecturer disputes this by emphasizing if they good at chasing the prays, agnostid must have the developed eyes. Actually, they were that efficient predators would require well-developed eyes for tracking prey (revised for natural tone). In reality, agnostids were often blind and used the relied on special sensory to chase the prays, but organs to locate prey; however, there were never recorded. Therefore, people can not asserts is no evidence supporting this in the fossil record (revised for clarity). Thus, it cannot be concluded that they are were free-swimming predators. predators (revised for natural tone).

Second, Secondly, the author puts forward an example to analogy the behavior of aginostid, since the arthropods proposes that agnostids may have dwelled on the seafloor. seafloor like other primitive arthropods (revised for clarity). Consequently, the author also speculates that the aginostid have the same ability. However, the lecturer asserts that it is speculated that agnostids possessed similar abilities (revised for natural tone). However, the lecturer contends that this would not enable them to move quickly or cover large distances (revised for clarity). Instead, they would have been limited to localized areas rather than spreading across vast regions (revised for natural tone). The fact that many agnostid species inhabited multiple geographic areas spread over large distances suggests they were capable of moving rapidly – an ability to help them move fast, instead, they can spread largely and even able to move fast. As a result, it is unusual to sea floor dwellers. trait for seafloor dwellers (revised for clarity and natural tone).

At last, the professor Lastly, the lecturer casts doubt on the population of organisms, since the author claims that agnoatids were parasites, theory that agnostids were parasites living on and feeding off larger organisms. While organisms will decline, if the aginatids ate the organisms. Consequently, it contradicts to the therory of the aginostids were parasites. as suggested by the author (revised for clarity). The population rule of parasites must remain within certain limits; otherwise, they could kill off their host organisms (revised for natural tone). However, it is believed that many agnostid populations were quite large based on the vast amounts of fossilized individuals found (revised for clarity). This significant population size contradicts the theory that agnostids were parasites and rules out thisis theory.this possibility (revised for natural tone).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading passage theories
  - Lecturer's challenges

- Theory 1: Free-swimming predators
  - Reading passage: small size, effective chasing
  - Lecturer's challenge: lack of well-developed eyes, no evidence in fossil record

- Theory 2: Seafloor dwellers
  - Reading passage: similarities to primitive arthropods
  - Lecturer's challenge: limited movement, widespread geographic distribution

- Theory 3: Parasites
  - Reading passage: living on and feeding off larger organisms
  - Lecturer's challenge: large population size, contradicting parasite theory

- Conclusion

9. Key Words

6. Revised Essay

The reading passage presents three theories about the lifestyle and eating habits of agnostids, a group of extinct marine animals that lived around 450 million years ago. However, the lecturer challenges each of these theories and provides her own explanations.

Firstly, the reading passage suggests that agnostids may have been free-swimming predators capable of hunting smaller animals due to their ability to chase prey effectively, despite their small size. In contrast, the lecturer disputes this by emphasizing that efficient predators would require well-developed eyes for tracking prey. In reality, agnostids were often blind and relied on special sensory organs to locate prey; however, there is no evidence supporting this in the fossil record. Thus, it cannot be concluded that they were free-swimming predators.

Secondly, the author proposes that agnostids may have dwelled on the seafloor like other primitive arthropods. Consequently, it is speculated that agnostids possessed similar abilities. However, the lecturer contends that this would not enable them to move quickly or cover large distances. Instead, they would have been limited to localized areas rather than spreading across vast regions. The fact that many agnostid species inhabited multiple geographic areas spread over large distances suggests they were capable of moving rapidly – an unusual trait for seafloor dwellers.

Lastly, the lecturer casts doubt on the theory that agnostids were parasites living on and feeding off larger organisms as suggested by the author. The population of parasites must remain within certain limits; otherwise, they could kill off their host organisms. However, it is believed that many agnostid populations were quite large based on the vast amounts of fossilized individuals found. This significant population size contradicts the theory that agnostids were parasites and rules out this possibility.