TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Suppose you have found something wrong with the electronic dictionary that you bought from an online store the other day. Write an email to the customer service center to make a complaint, and demand a prompt solution in 100 words.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 4

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性和衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 3

2.预估分数

• 预估分数：22

3.任务完成度 你的文章基本上满足了题目要求，但是在具体描述问题和提出解决方案方面可以更详细一些。例如，你可以具体说明电子词典的问题，以及你希望商家采取什么措施来解决这个问题。

示例1： Instead of "the terrible quality of the product," you can write "The electronic dictionary often freezes and shuts down unexpectedly, making it difficult for me to use it effectively."

示例2： Instead of "improve the attitude of the after-service," you can write "I request a replacement for this faulty electronic dictionary or a full refund if a replacement is not available."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构需要改进。虽然你的文章包括了引言、主体和结论，但是在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡。建议在每个段落之间使用过渡词或短语来增强连贯性。

示例1： 在描述产品质量问题后，可以使用过渡词：“此外”，例如：“此外，我还对售后服务感到非常不满。”

示例2： 在最后一段中，可以使用过渡短语：“总之”，例如：“总之，我希望您能尽快关注并解决我的投诉。”

5. 语法批改

Dear Sir, I am a customer who bought an electronic dictionary in your online store the other day. And I am writing for the purpose of expressing my complaint. First of allFirst(first of all (first)), my dissatisfaction is due to the terrible quality of the product, which waste a lot of my energy and time. In addition, the after-service was exceedingly impatient and did not reply to my messages for nearly a week! Thus, it is advisable for you to improve the attitude of the after-service. All in all, your prompt attention to my complaint would be highly appreciated, and I eagerly look forward to your reply at your earliest convenience. YourYou're(Detects potentially wrong usage of "your") sincerely, Zhang Wei.

6.文章修订

Dear Customer Service Team,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the electronic dictionary I recently purchased from your online store. I have encountered several issues with the product, and I am disappointed with the after-sales service provided. I kindly request a prompt resolution to these concerns.

To begin with, the electronic dictionary's performance has been subpar, as it frequently freezes and shuts down unexpectedly. This issue severely hinders my ability to use the device effectively and wastes a significant amount of my time and energy. Moreover, the device's user interface is not user-friendly, making it difficult for me to navigate through its features efficiently.

In addition to the product's poor quality, I have been extremely dissatisfied with your after-sales service. Despite reaching out multiple times for assistance, I have not received any response for nearly a week. This lack of communication is both frustrating and unprofessional.

Considering these circumstances, I kindly request that you either provide me with a replacement electronic dictionary or issue a full refund if a replacement is unavailable. Furthermore, I strongly recommend that you improve your after-sales service by providing timely responses and addressing customer concerns more effectively.

In conclusion, I hope that you will take my complaint seriously and act promptly to resolve these issues. Your swift attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated, and I eagerly await your response at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely, Zhang Wei (236 words)

7.文章批改

Dear Sir, Customer Service Team, (Changed "Dear Sir" to "Dear Customer Service Team" to address the appropriate department)

I am a customer who bought an writing to express my dissatisfaction with the electronic dictionary in I recently purchased from your online store the other day. And store. I have encountered several issues with the product, and I am writing for the purpose of expressing disappointed with the after-sales service provided. I kindly request a prompt resolution to these concerns. (Rephrased for clarity and formality)

To begin with, the electronic dictionary's performance has been subpar, as it frequently freezes and shuts down unexpectedly. (Provided specific details about the problem) This issue severely hinders my complaint. ¶ First of all, my dissatisfaction is due to the terrible quality of the product, which waste a lot ability to use the device effectively and wastes a significant amount of my energy and time. time and energy. Moreover, the device's user interface is not user-friendly, making it difficult for me to navigate through its features efficiently. (Added another issue for better task fulfillment)

In addition, the after-service was exceedingly impatient and did addition to the product's poor quality, I have been extremely dissatisfied with your after-sales service. Despite reaching out multiple times for assistance, I have not reply to my messages received any response for nearly a week! Thus, it week. (Clarified dissatisfaction with after-sales service) This lack of communication is advisable for both frustrating and unprofessional.

Considering these circumstances, I kindly request that you to either provide me with a replacement electronic dictionary or issue a full refund if a replacement is unavailable. (Offered specific solutions) Furthermore, I strongly recommend that you improve the attitude of the after-service. ¶ All in all, your prompt attention to your after-sales service by providing timely responses and addressing customer concerns more effectively. (Suggested improvements for after-sales service)

In conclusion, I hope that you will take my complaint seriously and act promptly to resolve these issues. Your swift attention to this matter would be highly greatly appreciated, and I eagerly look forward to your reply await your response at your earliest convenience.

Your sincerely, Sincerely,

Zhang Wei.Wei

(Overall revisions focused on clarity, formality, task fulfillment, grammar corrections, and vocabulary enhancement)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Dissatisfaction with electronic dictionary and after-sales service
  • Topic sentence 1: Issues with the electronic dictionary
    • Sub-topic 1: Freezes and shuts down unexpectedly
    • Sub-topic 2: Unfriendly user interface
  • Topic sentence 2: Disappointment with after-sales service
    • Sub-topic 1: No response for nearly a week
    • Sub-topic 2: Lack of communication and professionalism
  • Conclusion: Request for prompt resolution and improvement in after-sales service

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. The electronic dictionary's screen has poor resolution, making it difficult to read text clearly.

2. The device's battery life is extremely short, requiring frequent recharging and causing inconvenience.

3. The dictionary's search function is slow and inefficient, resulting in a time-consuming process to find the desired information.

4. The after-sales service failed to provide clear instructions on how to troubleshoot the issues I encountered with the electronic dictionary.

5. The online store's return policy is unclear and confusing, making it difficult for customers to understand their rights and options in case of dissatisfaction with a product.