TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 3 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 2

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面有待提高。首先，文章没有明确表达出作者对问题的立场，即同意还是反对。其次，论证过程中需要更多具体的例子和论据来支持观点。建议在修改时更明确地阐述自己的观点，并提供更多有力的论据。

示例1：在引言部分，可以明确表示：“我认为我们应该继续努力防止气候变化，而不是寻求与之共存的方法。”

示例2：在正文部分，可以添加一个关于可再生能源发展的例子来支持防止气候变化的观点：“例如，通过发展太阳能、风能等可再生能源，我们可以减少化石燃料的使用，从而降低温室气体排放。”

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构方面需要加强。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结论部分，但各段落之间缺乏清晰的逻辑关系和过渡。建议在修改时注意段落间的衔接，并使用恰当的过渡词汇来连接不同的观点。

示例1：在第二段和第三段之间，可以添加一个过渡句子来引出自己的观点：“尽管与气候变化共存可能会促进科技发展，但我认为我们应该更加关注防止气候变化。”

示例2：在正文部分，使用过渡词汇来连接不同的论据：“首先，防止气候变化有助于保护人类居住环境。其次，减缓气候变化可以避免其他领域的巨大变革带来的负面影响。”

5. 语法批改

As the society is developed by leaps and bounds. The fact that an increasing number of environmental issues have been thrown into a sharp focus. Especially on climate change, whether people should measure to coexist with it peacefully, is on heated debating. I will make an objective analysis in my following essay.

It cannot be denied that living with climate change is conductive onto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) stimulating the development of society. Since this weather phenomenon is the originorigin,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) motivation for scientists to invent cutting-edge technology dealing with severe weather condition. Therefore, approachable measures to put up with low quality environment improve science progress.

However, from my perspective, people suppose to avoid climate change instead reaching a mutual symbiosis. Although there are plenty of climate change happened already, we should not quit preventing it. Otherwise, there would be little areas suitable for human living. Meanwhile, climate change always occurs relative with enormous changes in other fields. A case in this point is that the increasing sea level will force millions of people pack up and move, and then the water rose the city cause irreversible economic losses.

To reverse this adverse situation, since feasible and effective measures should be adopted without any delay. To illustrate, individuals are responsible for greenhouse gas so that they should transform their model when travelling through the city. Simultaneously, governments should carry out efficient policies prohibiting illegal discharge of wastes and increase supervision. Only when both parties own mutual duty, will environment and people’s lives fall into a benign circle in a long run.

6.文章修订

As society develops by leaps and bounds, an increasing number of environmental issues have been brought into sharp focus. Climate change, in particular, has sparked heated debates on whether people should find ways to coexist with it peacefully. In this essay, I will provide an objective analysis and argue that we should continue our efforts to prevent climate change rather than seeking ways to live with it.

While it cannot be denied that adapting to climate change can stimulate societal development, as it motivates scientists to invent cutting-edge technology for dealing with severe weather conditions, I believe that we should focus more on preventing climate change. This is because the consequences of not doing so could be disastrous for both the environment and human life.

Firstly, although numerous instances of climate change have already occurred, we must not abandon our efforts to prevent further damage. If we do not take action now, there may be few areas left suitable for human habitation. Moreover, climate change often coincides with significant changes in other fields. For example, rising sea levels will force millions of people to relocate and cause irreversible economic losses as cities become submerged.

To reverse this adverse situation, feasible and effective measures must be adopted without delay. For instance, individuals are responsible for greenhouse gas emissions; therefore, they should alter their mode of transportation within cities by opting for more environmentally friendly options such as public transport or cycling. Simultaneously, governments should implement efficient policies prohibiting illegal waste discharge and increase supervision over industries contributing to pollution.

Furthermore, the development of renewable energy sources like solar and wind power can help reduce our reliance on fossil fuels and subsequently lower greenhouse gas emissions. By investing in these alternative energy sources and promoting their use among the general population, we can make significant strides towards combating climate change.

In addition to individual actions and government policies, international cooperation is crucial in addressing this global issue. Countries must work together by sharing resources and knowledge to develop innovative solutions for reducing carbon emissions and mitigating the effects of climate change. Through collaborative efforts, we can ensure a sustainable future for our planet and its inhabitants.

In conclusion, while adapting to climate change may have some benefits in terms of technological advancements, I firmly believe that our primary focus should be on preventing it. By taking individual responsibility, implementing effective government policies, promoting renewable energy sources, and fostering international cooperation, we can work towards a more sustainable future for all. Only when all parties fulfill their duties will the environment and people's lives fall into a virtuous cycle in the long run. (441 words)

7.文章批改

As the society is developed develops by leaps and bounds. The fact that bounds, an increasing number of environmental issues have been thrown brought into a sharp focus. Especially (Changed "thrown" to "brought" for a more natural expression) Climate change, in particular, has sparked heated debates on climate change, whether people should measure find ways to coexist with it peacefully, is on heated debating. peacefully. In this essay, I will make provide an objective analysis in my following essay. ¶ It and argue that we should continue our efforts to prevent climate change rather than seeking ways to live with it. (Clarified the author's stance on the issue)

While it cannot be denied that living with adapting to climate change is conductive on stimulating the development of society. Since this weather phenomenon is the origin motivation for can stimulate societal development, as it motivates scientists to invent cutting-edge technology for dealing with severe weather condition. Therefore, approachable measures to put up conditions, I believe that we should focus more on preventing climate change. (Improved sentence structure for clarity) This is because the consequences of not doing so could be disastrous for both the environment and human life.

Firstly, although numerous instances of climate change have already occurred, we must not abandon our efforts to prevent further damage. If we do not take action now, there may be few areas left suitable for human habitation. Moreover, climate change often coincides with low quality environment improve science progress. ¶ However, from my perspective, people suppose to avoid climate change instead reaching a mutual symbiosis. Although there are plenty of climate change happened already, we should not quit preventing it. Otherwise, there would be little areas suitable for human living. Meanwhile, climate change always occurs relative with enormous significant changes in other fields. A case in this point is that the increasing For example, rising sea level levels will force millions of people pack up and move, and then the water rose the city to relocate and cause irreversible economic losses. losses as cities become submerged. (Added specific example for better support)

To reverse this adverse situation, since feasible and effective measures should must be adopted without any delay. To illustrate, For instance, individuals are responsible for greenhouse gas so that emissions; therefore, they should transform alter their model when travelling through the city. mode of transportation within cities by opting for more environmentally friendly options such as public transport or cycling. (Improved sentence structure and clarity) Simultaneously, governments should carry out implement efficient policies prohibiting illegal waste discharge of wastes and increase supervision. supervision over industries contributing to pollution.

Furthermore, the development of renewable energy sources like solar and wind power can help reduce our reliance on fossil fuels and subsequently lower greenhouse gas emissions. By investing in these alternative energy sources and promoting their use among the general population, we can make significant strides towards combating climate change. (Added a new point for better argumentation)

In addition to individual actions and government policies, international cooperation is crucial in addressing this global issue. Countries must work together by sharing resources and knowledge to develop innovative solutions for reducing carbon emissions and mitigating the effects of climate change. Through collaborative efforts, we can ensure a sustainable future for our planet and its inhabitants. (Emphasized the importance of international cooperation)

In conclusion, while adapting to climate change may have some benefits in terms of technological advancements, I firmly believe that our primary focus should be on preventing it. By taking individual responsibility, implementing effective government policies, promoting renewable energy sources, and fostering international cooperation, we can work towards a more sustainable future for all. Only when both all parties own mutual duty, fulfill their duties will the environment and people’s people's lives fall into a benign circle virtuous cycle in a the long run.run. (Strengthened the conclusion by summarizing main points)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Preventing climate change is more important than adapting to it.
  • Topic sentence 1: Consequences of not preventing climate change
    • Sub-topic: Unsuitable living conditions
    • Supporting example: Rising sea levels and forced relocation
  • Topic sentence 2: Measures to prevent climate change
    • Sub-topic: Individual actions
      • Supporting example: Environmentally friendly transportation options
    • Sub-topic: Government policies
      • Supporting example: Prohibiting illegal waste discharge and increasing supervision
    • Sub-topic: Renewable energy sources
      • Supporting example: Solar and wind power development
  • Topic sentence 3: Importance of international cooperation
    • Sub-topic: Sharing resources and knowledge
      • Supporting example: Collaborative efforts for innovative solutions
  • Conclusion: Focus on prevention, individual responsibility, government policies, renewable energy sources, and international cooperation for a sustainable future.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Encouraging reforestation efforts can help absorb carbon dioxide and reduce the greenhouse effect.

2. Implementing carbon taxes can incentivize businesses to reduce their emissions and invest in cleaner technologies.

3. Promoting energy-efficient appliances and building designs can help reduce energy consumption and lower greenhouse gas emissions.

4. Educating the public about the importance of reducing waste, recycling, and conserving resources can contribute to a more sustainable lifestyle.

5. Supporting research into climate-resistant crops can help ensure food security in the face of changing weather patterns and extreme conditions.