TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay taxes to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay addresses the topic and provides arguments for both sides, but it could be improved by taking a clearer stance on whether the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement. Additionally, more specific examples and evidence could be provided to support the arguments.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Clearly state your position in the introduction.

• Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

Examples:

1. In the introduction, you could write, "While I understand that some people may feel they should keep all their earnings, I believe that paying taxes is necessary for a functioning society."

2. To support your argument about education, you could provide a specific example of a country where low tax rates have led to poor educational outcomes.

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the organization could be improved by using stronger transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, each paragraph should focus on one main idea with supporting details.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use stronger transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea with supporting details.

Examples:

1. Instead of starting a paragraph with "Secondly," you could use a transition like "In addition to education, healthcare is another sector that greatly benefits from tax revenues."

2. To improve paragraph focus, make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence outlining the main idea of that paragraph. For example: "Tax revenues are crucial for maintaining high-quality healthcare systems in many countries."

5. Grammar

It is well-known that tax plays an essential role in a country’s various constructions such as education, health care, and infrastructure construction. However, an array of people deem that individuals should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not taxestax(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) to the states. Here is my discussion about this issue.

On one hand, one of the most important aspects where tax has a great impact is education. A Large amount of Funds must be allocated to many aspects of education such as infrastructure construction associated with schools, teacher’s salary, and related teaching resources and equipment. For example, the average yearly payment for supporting education in America is equal to 2 trillion dollars, which comes from tax payments provided by citizens. Without paying taxes, so many schools cannot be run smoothly. Correspondingly, tax revenues make a great contribution to the whole education system. Therefore, individuals must pay taxes.

Secondly, the large healthcare system also needs tax payments to bolster it. Hospital construction, medical equipment, and doctor’s salary need huge amounts of finance to support. For example, it is universally acknowledged that in many European countries like Swiss, FenlandFinland(misspelling), and Germany, the farewell of health care is so good that almost all the related medical fees could be funded by the government. The large amount of financial payment allocated to the health care systems comes from tax revenues. Therefore, to help the whole society run smoothly, taxes play a crucial role in it. Admittedly, not all people should pay taxes. Those who can only make ends meet could be free from paying taxes. So, in many countries, there is a set of rules indicating how to pay taxes and how much people should pay according to their corresponding incomes. For example, in China, people whose salary is lower than 3500 per month could be free from paying taxes because those people could only satisfy their basic needs such as food, clothes, and shelter.

To sum up, tax plays a significant role in various aspects, such as health care, education, infrastructure construction, and national defense. withoutWithout(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) tax payments, the whole society might be stagnant. However, some people whose salary is not enough to satisfy their basic needs could be free from paying taxes.

6.Revised Essay

It is well-known that taxes play an essential role in a country's various sectors, such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure development. However, some individuals argue that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and not pay taxes to the state. While I understand that some people may feel entitled to their earnings, I believe that paying taxes is necessary for a functioning society.

On one hand, one of the most significant aspects where tax revenues have a considerable impact is education. A large amount of funding must be allocated to various aspects of education, such as infrastructure development associated with schools, teachers' salaries, and related teaching resources and equipment. For instance, the average yearly expenditure for supporting education in America amounts to 2 trillion dollars, which comes from tax payments provided by citizens. Without paying taxes, numerous schools would struggle to operate smoothly. Consequently, tax revenues make a substantial contribution to the entire education system. Therefore, individuals must pay taxes.

In addition to education, healthcare is another sector that greatly benefits from tax revenues. Hospital construction, medical equipment acquisition, and doctors' salaries require substantial financial support. For example, it is universally acknowledged that in many European countries like Switzerland, Finland, and Germany, the quality of healthcare is so high that almost all related medical fees can be funded by the government. The considerable financial allocation dedicated to healthcare systems comes from tax revenues. Therefore, taxes play a crucial role in ensuring society runs smoothly.

Admittedly, not all people should pay taxes. Those who can only make ends meet could be exempt from paying taxes. As a result, many countries have established rules indicating how much individuals should pay according to their corresponding incomes. For example, in China, people whose salary is lower than 3500 per month are exempt from paying taxes because they can only satisfy their basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter.

To further illustrate the importance of taxes, consider a country where low tax rates have led to poor educational outcomes. In this scenario, the lack of funding for schools and teachers results in inadequate resources and infrastructure, ultimately affecting the quality of education provided to students. By paying taxes, citizens contribute to a better educational system that benefits society as a whole.

In conclusion, taxes play a significant role in various aspects of society, such as healthcare, education, infrastructure development, and national defense. Without tax payments, societal progress might stagnate. However, some individuals whose salaries are insufficient to satisfy their basic needs could be exempt from paying taxes. While it is natural for people to want to keep their hard-earned money, it is essential to recognize the importance of contributing to the greater good through taxation. By doing so, we can ensure that our society continues to thrive and prosper.

Essay statistics: {"words": 451, "unique_words": 246} (477 words)

7.Essay Grading

It is well-known that tax plays taxes play an essential role in a country’s country's various constructions sectors, such as education, health care, healthcare, and infrastructure construction. development. (Changed "constructions" to "sectors" and "tax" to "taxes" for better clarity and cohesion) However, an array of people deem that some individuals argue that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay taxes to the states. Here is my discussion about this issue. state. (Rephrased for better coherence) While I understand that some people may feel entitled to their earnings, I believe that paying taxes is necessary for a functioning society. (Added a clear stance on the topic)

On one hand, one of the most important significant aspects where tax has a great revenues have a considerable impact is education. (Improved sentence structure for clarity) A Large large amount of Funds funding must be allocated to many various aspects of education education, such as infrastructure construction development associated with schools, teacher’s salary, teachers' salaries, and related teaching resources and equipment. (Changed "Funds" to "funding" for consistency) For example, instance, the average yearly payment expenditure for supporting education in America is equal amounts to 2 trillion dollars, which comes from tax payments provided by citizens. Without paying taxes, so many numerous schools cannot be run would struggle to operate smoothly. Correspondingly, Consequently, tax revenues make a great substantial contribution to the whole entire education system. Therefore, individuals must pay taxes.

Secondly, the large In addition to education, healthcare system also needs tax payments to bolster it. is another sector that greatly benefits from tax revenues. (Used stronger transition) Hospital construction, medical equipment, and doctor’s salary need huge amounts of finance to equipment acquisition, and doctors' salaries require substantial financial support. For example, it is universally acknowledged that in many European countries like Swiss, Fenland, and Germany, the farewell of health care Switzerland, Finland, and Germany (corrected country names), the quality of healthcare is so good high that almost all the related medical fees could can be funded by the government. The large amount of considerable financial payment allocated to the health care allocation dedicated to healthcare systems comes from tax revenues. Therefore, to help the whole society run smoothly, taxes play a crucial role in it. ensuring society runs smoothly.

Admittedly, not all people should pay taxes. Those who can only make ends meet could be free exempt from paying taxes. So, in (Changed "free" to "exempt" for better vocabulary) As a result, many countries, there is a set of countries have established rules indicating how to pay taxes and how much people individuals should pay according to their corresponding incomes. For example, in China, people whose salary is lower than 3500 per month could be free are exempt from paying taxes because those people could they can only satisfy their basic needs such as food, clothes, clothing and shelter. (Improved sentence structure for clarity)

To sum up, tax plays further illustrate the importance of taxes, consider a country where low tax rates have led to poor educational outcomes. (Added a specific example) In this scenario, the lack of funding for schools and teachers results in inadequate resources and infrastructure, ultimately affecting the quality of education provided to students. By paying taxes, citizens contribute to a better educational system that benefits society as a whole.

In conclusion, taxes play a significant role in various aspects, aspects of society, such as health care, healthcare, education, infrastructure construction, development, and national defense. without Without tax payments, the whole society societal progress might be stagnant. stagnate. However, some people individuals whose salary is not enough salaries are insufficient to satisfy their basic needs could be free exempt from paying taxes.taxes. While it is natural for people to want to keep their hard-earned money (used advanced vocabulary), it is essential to recognize the importance of contributing to the greater good through taxation. By doing so, we can ensure that our society continues to thrive and prosper.

Essay statistics: {"words": 451, "unique_words": 246}

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: Paying taxes is necessary for a functioning society.

  • Topic sentence 1: Tax revenues have a considerable impact on education.
    • Sub-topic: Infrastructure development, teachers' salaries, and resources.
    • Supporting example: Average yearly expenditure for education in America.
  • Topic sentence 2: Healthcare greatly benefits from tax revenues.
    • Sub-topic: Hospital construction, medical equipment acquisition, and doctors' salaries.
    • Supporting example: High-quality healthcare in Switzerland, Finland, and Germany.
  • Topic sentence 3: Not all people should pay taxes; exemptions for low-income individuals.
    • Sub-topic: Rules based on corresponding incomes.
    • Supporting example: Exemption for people with a salary lower than 3500 per month in China.

• Conclusion: Recognize the importance of contributing to the greater good through taxation to ensure societal progress.

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Investing in renewable energy sources through tax revenues can lead to a more sustainable future and reduce dependence on fossil fuels.

2. Taxes contribute to public safety by funding police departments and emergency services, ensuring a secure environment for citizens.

3. Infrastructure projects like roads and bridges are financed through taxes, which are essential for efficient transportation and economic growth.

4. Social welfare programs, such as unemployment benefits and food assistance, are funded by taxes and provide a safety net for vulnerable citizens.

5. Tax revenues support cultural institutions like museums, libraries, and public parks, which enrich the lives of citizens and promote a sense of community.