TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Doctor With so many opportunities to connect nowadays, some people believe that no matter which country we come from, we have more similarities than we have differences. However, others have observed that differences between themselves and people from other countries are growing. In your view, are differences between people from different countries increasing, or are they diminishing? Why? Andrew I think the differences among us are decreasing as our exposure to products from other countries grows. We can enjoy food from any country. We can watch movies made in faraway places. We can go to a store and buy authentic goods from around the world. These things become part of our normal life and make our differences seem smaller. Kelly I understand what Andrew is saying, but for some people, being exposed to differences makes them retreat into their own corner even more. Look at social media. We are exposed to many different people and ideas, but a lot of people talk to only those they agree with and ignore the rest. This only makes the differences between people increase.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 文章结构与组织：3

• 连贯性与衔接：3

• 语言运用：4

2.预估分数

• 22

3.任务完成度 虽然文章表达了作者的观点，但是论证过程较为简单，缺乏具体的例子和详细的解释。建议在论述中加入更多具体的事例以及深入分析，以增强说服力。

示例1： 原文："I myself, for instance, befriended with a Korean boy who shared common music interest with me by communicating though Internet, which is beyond imagination before the rise of social media." 改进："For example, through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, I was able to connect with a Korean boy who shared my passion for music. We exchanged recommendations for songs and albums, and even attended online concerts together. This experience not only allowed us to bond over our shared interest but also helped us learn about each other's cultures and traditions."

示例2： 原文："In this way, it is more likely for those with differed cultural background to accept and be inspired by each other’s perspectives, thus lowering their difference." 改进："By engaging in open conversations and sharing personal experiences on social media platforms, people from different cultural backgrounds can develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives. This mutual understanding helps to bridge the gap between cultures and reduces the differences that may have existed previously."

4.文章结构与组织 文章整体结构较为简单，建议在引言部分明确提出论点，并在正文部分分段论述，每段阐述一个观点，并给出相应的例子和解释。最后在结论部分进行总结。

示例1： 原文："In the age of Internet thrive, the world has witnessed unprecedented boom in social media development." 改进："With the rapid development of the internet and social media, people from different countries are now more connected than ever before. In my opinion, this increased connectivity has led to a decrease in differences between individuals from different cultural backgrounds."

示例2： 原文：无 改进：添加结论部分："In conclusion, the rise of social media has played a significant role in reducing differences between people from different countries. By facilitating communication and promoting cultural exchange, these platforms have enabled individuals to develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives and foster a more inclusive global community."

5. 语法批改

In the age of Internet thrive, the world has witnessed unprecedented boom in social media development. Given that, difference between people is decreasing because they can communicate with each other through social media from my perspective. Specifically, through social media, individuals all over the world can interact with international friends and share with their own unique culture and opinions. In this way, it is more likely for those with differed cultural background to accept and be inspired by each other’s perspectives, thus lowering their difference. I myself, for instance, befriended with a Korean boy who shared common music interest with me by communicating though Internet, which is beyond imagination before the rise of social media. Moreover, as getting more familiar, our topic goes beyond music to our habits, culture, and even philosophy. In this way, our difference gradually dissolvedissolves(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb). It follows that favored by social media thrive, differences are diminishing between people.

6.文章修订

In the era of rapid internet development, the world has witnessed an unprecedented boom in social media platforms. People from different countries are now more connected than ever before. In my opinion, this increased connectivity has led to a decrease in differences between individuals from various cultural backgrounds.

Social media enables individuals across the globe to interact with international friends and share their unique cultures and opinions. By engaging in open conversations and sharing personal experiences on platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, people from diverse cultural backgrounds can develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives. This mutual understanding helps bridge the gap between cultures and reduces the differences that may have existed previously.

For example, through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, I was able to connect with a Korean boy who shared my passion for music. We exchanged recommendations for songs and albums, attended online concerts together, and discussed our favorite artists' performances. This experience not only allowed us to bond over our shared interest but also helped us learn about each other's cultures and traditions.

Moreover, social media has facilitated the exchange of goods and services across borders. People can now enjoy food from any country, watch movies made in faraway places, or buy authentic goods from around the world without leaving their homes. These global exchanges have become part of our daily lives, making our differences seem smaller as we embrace elements of various cultures.

However, it is essential to acknowledge that some individuals may retreat into their own corners when exposed to different people and ideas on social media. They may choose to interact only with those they agree with while ignoring others' perspectives. To counteract this tendency towards echo chambers, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints on these platforms.

One way to promote open-mindedness is by participating in online forums or discussion groups that encourage respectful debate on various topics. Engaging with people who hold opposing views can foster empathy and understanding while reducing the perceived differences between individuals from different countries.

In conclusion, the rise of social media has played a significant role in reducing differences between people from different countries. By facilitating communication and promoting cultural exchange, these platforms have enabled individuals to develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives and foster a more inclusive global community. However, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints and engage in respectful dialogue to ensure that social media continues to serve as a force for unity rather than division. (428 words)

7.文章批改

In the era of rapid internet development (1), the world has witnessed an unprecedented boom in social media platforms (2). People from different countries are now more connected than ever before (3). In my opinion, this increased connectivity has led to a decrease in differences between individuals from various cultural backgrounds (4).

(1) "In the age of Internet thrive, the thrive" was revised to "In the era of rapid internet development" for a more natural and accurate expression.

(2) "the world has witnessed unprecedented boom in social media development. Given development" was revised to "the world has witnessed an unprecedented boom in social media platforms" for better clarity and coherence.

(3) "Given that, difference between people is decreasing because they can communicate with each other through social media from my perspective. Specifically, through social media, perspective." was revised to "People from different countries are now more connected than ever before." for better sentence structure and clarity.

(4) The original text did not have a clear thesis statement, so I added: "In my opinion, this increased connectivity has led to a decrease in differences between individuals all over the world can from various cultural backgrounds."

Social media enables individuals across the globe to interact with international friends and share their unique cultures and opinions (5). By engaging in open conversations and sharing personal experiences on platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, people from diverse cultural backgrounds can develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives (6). This mutual understanding helps bridge the gap between cultures and reduces the differences that may have existed previously (7).

(5) The original text did not provide specific examples of how social media enables interaction. I added: "Social media enables individuals across the globe to interact with international friends and share their own unique culture and opinions. In this way, it is more likely for those with differed cultures and opinions."

(6) The original text lacked specific examples of how people engage on social media platforms. I added: "By engaging in open conversations and sharing personal experiences on platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, people from diverse cultural background to accept and be inspired by backgrounds can develop a better understanding of each other’s perspectives, thus lowering their difference. I myself, for instance, befriended other's perspectives."

(7) The original text did not provide a clear explanation of how mutual understanding reduces differences. I added: "This mutual understanding helps bridge the gap between cultures and reduces the differences that may have existed previously."

For example, through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, I was able to connect with a Korean boy who shared common my passion for music (8). We exchanged recommendations for songs and albums, attended online concerts together, and discussed our favorite artists' performances (9). This experience not only allowed us to bond over our shared interest but also helped us learn about each other's cultures and traditions (10).

(8) The original text provided an example but lacked detail. I expanded on the example: "For example, through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, I was able to connect with me by communicating though Internet, which a Korean boy who shared my passion for music."

(9) The original text did not provide specific details about the interaction. I added: "We exchanged recommendations for songs and albums, attended online concerts together, and discussed our favorite artists' performances."

(10) The original text did not explain how this interaction helped reduce differences. I added: "This experience not only allowed us to bond over our shared interest but also helped us learn about each other's cultures and traditions."

Moreover, social media has facilitated the exchange of goods and services across borders (11). People can now enjoy food from any country, watch movies made in faraway places or buy authentic goods from around the world without leaving their homes (12). These global exchanges have become part of our daily lives, making our differences seem smaller as we embrace elements of various cultures (13).

(11) The original text did not mention how social media facilitates exchanges. I added: "Moreover, social media has facilitated the exchange of goods and services across borders."

(12) The original text did not provide specific examples of global exchanges. I added: "People can now enjoy food from any country, watch movies made in faraway places or buy authentic goods from around the world without leaving their homes."

(13) The original text did not explain how these exchanges reduce differences. I added: "These global exchanges have become part of our daily lives, making our differences seem smaller as we embrace elements of various cultures."

However, it is beyond imagination before essential to acknowledge that some individuals may retreat into their own corners when exposed to different people and ideas on social media (14). They may choose to interact only with those they agree with while ignoring others' perspectives (15). To counteract this tendency towards echo chambers, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints on these platforms (16).

(14) The original text did not address potential drawbacks of social media. I added: "However, it is essential to acknowledge that some individuals may retreat into their own corners when exposed to different people and ideas on social media."

(15) The original text did not provide specific examples of how people might ignore others' perspectives. I added: "They may choose to interact only with those they agree with while ignoring others' perspectives."

(16) The original text did not suggest solutions for addressing echo chambers. I added: "To counteract this tendency towards echo chambers, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints on these platforms."

In conclusion, the rise of social media. Moreover, media has played a significant role in reducing differences between people from different countries (17). By facilitating communication and promoting cultural exchange, these platforms have enabled individuals to develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives and foster a more inclusive global community (18). However, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints and engage in respectful dialogue to ensure that social media continues to serve as getting a force for unity rather than division (19).

(17) The original text did not have a clear conclusion. I added: "In conclusion, the rise of social media has played a significant role in reducing differences between people from different countries."

(18) The original text did not summarize the main points of the essay. I added: "By facilitating communication and promoting cultural exchange, these platforms have enabled individuals to develop a better understanding of each other's perspectives and foster a more familiar, our topic goes beyond music to our habits, culture, and even philosophy. In this way, our difference gradually dissolve. It follows inclusive global community."

(19) The original text did not provide recommendations for users. I added: "However, it is crucial for users to actively seek out diverse viewpoints and engage in respectful dialogue to ensure that favored by social media thrive, differences are diminishing between people.social media continues to serve as a force for unity rather than division."

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Decrease in differences between individuals from various cultural backgrounds due to increased connectivity.

  • Topic sentence 1: Social media enables interaction and sharing of cultures and opinions.
    • Sub-topic: Open conversations on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
    • Supporting example: Connecting with a Korean boy over shared passion for music.
  • Topic sentence 2: Social media facilitates the exchange of goods and services across borders.
    • Sub-topic: Global exchanges becoming part of daily lives.
    • Supporting example: Enjoying food, movies, and goods from around the world without leaving home.
  • Topic sentence 3: Acknowledging potential drawbacks of social media exposure to different people and ideas.
    • Sub-topic: Tendency towards echo chambers and ignoring others' perspectives.
    • Supporting example: Actively seeking out diverse viewpoints on platforms to counteract echo chambers.

• Conclusion: Social media plays a significant role in reducing differences between people from different countries by facilitating communication and promoting cultural exchange.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Social media allows users to learn about global events and issues, fostering a sense of shared responsibility and encouraging collaboration between people from different countries.

2. Online language exchange programs facilitated by social media platforms enable individuals to learn new languages and better understand other cultures, reducing language barriers and promoting cross-cultural understanding.

3. Social media influencers from different countries can use their platforms to showcase their cultures, traditions, and lifestyles, helping to break down stereotypes and promote cultural appreciation.

4. International online communities formed through social media platforms allow people with similar interests or hobbies to connect, share ideas, and collaborate on projects, transcending geographical boundaries.

5. Social media has enabled non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and charities to reach a wider audience for fundraising efforts or raising awareness about global issues, bringing people from different countries together for a common cause.