TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Biodiversity is now being lost and it is a global problem. Describe the importance of biodiversity. In addition, list at least two factors that threaten biodiversity and propose your solutions for each.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度: 3

• 文章结构与组织: 3

• 连贯性与衔接: 3

• 语言运用: 2

2.预估分数

• 总分：20

3.任务完成度 这篇文章的任务完成度较低。虽然你提到了生物多样性的重要性，但没有详细描述其重要性。此外，你列出了威胁生物多样性的两个因素，但解决方案不够具体。建议在描述生物多样性的重要性时提供更多具体的例子，并为每个威胁因素提供更详细的解决方案。

示例1： 原文：“Moreover, people rely on some medicine which made by valuable species, we can not deny that protecting the biodiversity is important in medical research and diseases treatment.” 改进：“Moreover, many life-saving medicines are derived from plants and animals, highlighting the importance of biodiversity in medical research and disease treatment. For instance, the rosy periwinkle plant has been used to develop drugs for treating leukemia and Hodgkin's lymphoma.”

示例2： 原文：“Firstly, the government of different countries should take legal measures to punish the citizen’s activities which do harmful to biodiversity such us discharging green house gas, damaging the forest, and extremely traffic pollution.” 改进：“Firstly, governments should implement stricter laws and regulations to protect biodiversity. For example, they could establish wildlife reserves to conserve habitats for endangered species and enforce penalties for illegal deforestation or poaching.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要改进。虽然你的文章包括了引言、正文和结论，但段落之间的过渡不够清晰。建议使用更明确的过渡词和短语来连接不同段落中的观点，并确保每个段落都集中在一个特定的观点上。

示例1： 原文：“From my own perspective, the diminishment of biodiversity will cause natural disaster and bad influence on humanity activities.” 改进：“One of the main reasons why biodiversity is essential is that it helps maintain the balance of ecosystems, preventing natural disasters and negative impacts on human activities.”

示例2： 原文：“However, people should undertake the duty about protecting biodiversity.” 改进：“To address these threats to biodiversity, several solutions can be implemented by both individuals and governments.”

5. 语法批改

As we all know, with the development of society and ecnomyeconomy(misspelling), the number of species has diminished rapidly. This phenomenon invokeinvokes(Plural verb after 'this' or 'that') concern from people who come from all over the world. However, a great number of people still not recognize the significantsignificance(ARTICLE ADJECTIVE of) of decrease biodiversity. Consequently, it is a crucial for every one to cultivate the sense about protection of biodiversity. And It is our duty to advertise the importance of biodiversity to everyone and make great effort to solve the global problem.

From my own perspective, (Two consecutive spaces)the diminishment of biodiversity will cause natural disaster and bad influence on humanity activities. For example, the news report that with the lost of many kinds of plants, the soil will lostlose(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) as a consequence. As a result, the rock in the mountains will drop downdrop(drop down (drop)) when the rains fall. The village nearby the mountains need to under highly risk. Moreover, people rely on some medicine which made by valuable species, we can not deny that protecting the biodiversity is important in medical research and diseases treatment.

According to the articles, there are two main factors that threaten biodiversity. The first one is people’s productive activities. To presuming the rapidly developmentrapid development(Adverb instead of an adjective) of agriculture and industry, a great number of forest has disappearing, which leads to numerous species dying out gradually. The second one is climate changes. In the past millions years, the earth experienceexperiences(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) many severe climate changes, many species died out in the cold or hot weather, it’s out of people’s control.

However, people should undertake the duty about protecting biodiversity. Firstly, the government of different countries should take legal measures to punish the citizen’s activities which do harmful to biodiversity such us discharging green house gas, damaging the forest, and extremely traffic pollution. It will lead to the melt of glaciers, risen of sea level and greenhouse effect. Secondly, the media should take the responsbilitiesresponsibilities(misspelling) to advertise the factors which threaten biodiversity and appeal to enhance the sense about environment protection. For example, ice basket challenging is a promotion activities which appeal to water saving in TikTok and YouTube. The media should utilize the flouring short video platforms to promote the concept about biodiversity protection.

In a conclusion, biodiversity lost is a global problemsa global problem(Agreement: 'a' + plural word) relate to every one in the world closely. Only everyone make effort to protect environment, can this problem be solvesolved(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense).

6.文章修订

Biodiversity loss has become a pressing global issue in recent years. The importance of biodiversity cannot be overstated, as it plays a crucial role in maintaining the balance of ecosystems and supporting human activities. In this essay, I will discuss the significance of biodiversity, identify two factors that threaten it, and propose solutions to address these challenges.

One of the main reasons why biodiversity is essential is that it helps maintain the balance of ecosystems, preventing natural disasters and negative impacts on human activities. For instance, diverse plant species contribute to soil stability, preventing landslides and erosion during heavy rainfall. Additionally, many life-saving medicines are derived from plants and animals, highlighting the importance of biodiversity in medical research and disease treatment. For example, the rosy periwinkle plant has been used to develop drugs for treating leukemia and Hodgkin's lymphoma.

There are two primary factors that threaten biodiversity: human activities and climate change. Firstly, human activities such as deforestation and industrialization have led to habitat destruction for numerous species. The rapid expansion of agriculture and industry has resulted in vast areas of forests disappearing, causing many species to become endangered or extinct. Secondly, climate change poses a significant threat to biodiversity as well. Over millions of years, Earth has experienced severe climatic fluctuations; however, recent human-induced changes have accelerated this process at an alarming rate. Many species are unable to adapt quickly enough to these changes in temperature and weather patterns.

To address these threats to biodiversity, several solutions can be implemented by both individuals and governments. Firstly, governments should implement stricter laws and regulations to protect biodiversity. For example, they could establish wildlife reserves to conserve habitats for endangered species and enforce penalties for illegal deforestation or poaching. Moreover, international cooperation is essential for tackling global issues like climate change; countries must work together to reduce greenhouse gas emissions through policies such as carbon pricing or investing in renewable energy sources.

Secondly, individuals can also play a significant role in protecting biodiversity. People should be encouraged to adopt more sustainable lifestyles, such as reducing their consumption of resources and minimizing waste. This can be achieved through education and awareness campaigns that highlight the importance of biodiversity and the consequences of its loss. Media outlets can also contribute by promoting environmentally friendly practices and raising awareness about the factors that threaten biodiversity.

In conclusion, biodiversity loss is a global problem that affects everyone on Earth. The importance of biodiversity is evident in its role in maintaining ecosystem balance and supporting human activities, such as medical research. The main threats to biodiversity are human activities and climate change, both of which require urgent attention and action from governments, individuals, and organizations alike. By working together to implement effective solutions, we can help preserve our planet's precious biodiversity for future generations.

Essay statistics: {"words": 451, "unique_words": 242} (475 words)

As we all know, with the development of society and ecnomy, the number of species 7.文章批改

Biodiversity loss has diminished rapidly. This phenomenon invoke concern from people who come from all over the world. However, become a great number of people still not recognize the significant of decrease biodiversity. Consequently, pressing global issue in recent years. (This opening sentence provides a clear and concise introduction to the topic.) The importance of biodiversity cannot be overstated, as it is plays a crucial for every one to cultivate the sense role in maintaining the balance of ecosystems and supporting human activities. (This sentence emphasizes the significance of biodiversity.) In this essay, I will discuss the significance of biodiversity, identify two factors that threaten it, and propose solutions to address these challenges. (This sentence outlines the structure of the essay.)

One of the main reasons why biodiversity is essential is that it helps maintain the balance of ecosystems, preventing natural disasters and negative impacts on human activities. (This sentence introduces the first point about protection of biodiversity. And It is our duty to advertise biodiversity's importance.) For instance, diverse plant species contribute to soil stability, preventing landslides and erosion during heavy rainfall. (This example supports the previous statement.) Additionally, many life-saving medicines are derived from plants and animals, highlighting the importance of biodiversity to everyone and make great effort to solve the global problem. ¶ From my own perspective, the diminishment of biodiversity will cause natural disaster and bad influence on humanity activities. in medical research and disease treatment. (Another example is provided to further emphasize its importance.) For example, the news report that with the lost of many kinds of plants, the soil will lost as a consequence. As a result, the rock in the mountains will drop down when the rains fall. The village nearby the mountains need to under highly risk. Moreover, people rely on some medicine which made by valuable species, we can not deny that protecting the biodiversity is important in medical research and diseases treatment. rosy periwinkle plant has been used to develop drugs for treating leukemia and Hodgkin's lymphoma. (A specific instance is given to support this point.)

According to the articles, there There are two main primary factors that threaten biodiversity: human activities and climate change. (This sentence introduces two threats to biodiversity.) Firstly, human activities such as deforestation and industrialization have led to habitat destruction for numerous species. (The first threat is explained.) The rapid expansion of agriculture and industry has resulted in vast areas of forests disappearing, causing many species to become endangered or extinct. (Further elaboration on this threat is provided.) Secondly, climate change poses a significant threat to biodiversity as well. Over millions of years, Earth has experienced severe climatic fluctuations; however, recent human-induced changes have accelerated this process at an alarming rate. Many species are unable to adapt quickly enough to these changes in temperature and weather patterns. (The second threat is explained and supported with reasoning.)

To address these threats to biodiversity, several solutions can be implemented by both individuals and governments. (This sentence introduces the solutions section.) Firstly, governments should implement stricter laws and regulations to protect biodiversity. For example, they could establish wildlife reserves to conserve habitats for endangered species and enforce penalties for illegal deforestation or poaching. (A specific solution involving government action is provided.) Moreover, international cooperation is essential for tackling global issues like climate change; countries must work together to reduce greenhouse gas emissions through policies such as carbon pricing or investing in renewable energy sources. (Another solution emphasizing international collaboration is suggested.)

Secondly, individuals can also play a significant role in protecting biodiversity. (This sentence introduces the role of individuals in addressing the issue.) People should be encouraged to adopt more sustainable lifestyles, such as reducing their consumption of resources and minimizing waste. This can be achieved through education and awareness campaigns that highlight the importance of biodiversity and the consequences of its loss. (A specific solution involving individual action is provided.) Media outlets can also contribute by promoting environmentally friendly practices and raising awareness about the factors that threaten biodiversity. (The first one is people’s productive activities. To presuming the rapidly development of agriculture and industry, a great number of forest has disappearing, which leads to numerous species dying out gradually. The second one is climate changes. In the past millions years, the earth experience many severe climate changes, many species died out in the cold or hot weather, it’s out of people’s control. ¶ However, people should undertake the duty about protecting biodiversity. Firstly, the government of different countries should take legal measures to punish the citizen’s activities which do harmful to biodiversity such us discharging green house gas, damaging the forest, and extremely traffic pollution. It will lead to the melt of glaciers, risen of sea level and greenhouse effect. Secondly, the role of media should take the responsbilities to advertise the factors which threaten biodiversity and appeal to enhance the sense about environment protection. For example, ice basket challenging is a promotion activities which appeal to water saving in TikTok and YouTube. The media should utilize the flouring short video platforms to promote the concept about biodiversity protection. in addressing this issue is discussed.)

In a conclusion, biodiversity lost loss is a global problems relate to every one in the world closely. Only problem that affects everyone make effort to protect environment, on Earth. The importance of biodiversity is evident in its role in maintaining ecosystem balance and supporting human activities, such as medical research. The main threats to biodiversity are human activities and climate change, both of which require urgent attention and action from governments, individuals, and organizations alike. By working together to implement effective solutions, we can this problem be solve.help preserve our planet's precious biodiversity for future generations. (This concluding paragraph summarizes the main points of the essay while emphasizing the need for collective action.)

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Biodiversity loss is a global problem that requires urgent attention and action.
  • Topic sentence 1: Importance of biodiversity
    • Sub-topic 1: Maintaining ecosystem balance
      • Supporting example: Soil stability and prevention of landslides
    • Sub-topic 2: Supporting human activities
      • Supporting example: Medicines derived from plants and animals
  • Topic sentence 2: Factors threatening biodiversity
    • Sub-topic 1: Human activities
      • Supporting example: Deforestation and industrialization
    • Sub-topic 2: Climate change
      • Supporting example: Accelerated climatic fluctuations affecting species adaptation
  • Topic sentence 3: Proposed solutions for protecting biodiversity
    • Sub-topic 1: Government actions
      • Supporting example: Stricter laws, wildlife reserves, international cooperation on climate change policies
    • Sub-topic 2: Individual actions and media involvement
      • Supporting example: Sustainable lifestyles, education campaigns, media promotion of environmentally friendly practices

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Biodiversity contributes to food security by providing a variety of plant and animal species for human consumption, ensuring a balanced diet and preventing over-reliance on a single food source.

2. Biodiversity supports pollination, which is essential for the reproduction of many plant species, including those that provide food for humans and other animals.

3. Healthy ecosystems with high biodiversity levels are more resilient to disturbances such as disease outbreaks or natural disasters, helping to maintain overall stability in the environment.

4. Biodiversity promotes ecotourism, which can generate income for local communities while encouraging the preservation of natural habitats and wildlife.

5. Governments can invest in research and development to find alternative materials or methods that reduce the impact on biodiversity, such as using biodegradable materials instead of plastics or promoting sustainable farming practices.