TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the specific theories discussed in the reading passage.
旧版托福格式的用户历史样本与AI评估结果。
共 2 份历史用户样本
旧版托福题型
本题目来自托福考试的旧版本。当前托福已采用不同的考试结构。这些历史样本仅作为练习参考保留。
题目概览
阅读段落
The world has been radically transformed by digital technology and many industries have incorporated technology advancements to streamline and optimize their operations. One field that has not yet fully embraced the digital age is the medical industry. Many proponents advocate modernizing the medical industries record keeping system so that digitizing patient health records becomes the new industry standard. Shifting from paper medical records and physical filing to electronic medical records and digital filing will have considerable benefits. Firstly, digitizing paper records and doing away with wasteful physical records will save money. The cost of keeping physical paper records, to name but a few, includesthe cost of paper, printer ink, and physical storage filing systems. Switching to electronic medical records will eliminate these expenses and reduce costs, benefiting medical office record keepers and reducing operation overhead. In the case of large hospitals that treat hundreds of unique patients monthly, these costreductions could translate into millions of dollars in savings. Another benefit is safety. In the case of physical paper records, doctors obtain patient health history by having patients fill out forms about medical history,including previous surgeries, drugs they take on a regular basis, and so on. If apatient forgot to accurately provide information, or if information was not provided because it seemed unimportant, then doctors would not have a complete andaccurate picture of patient health. Having electronic health records can reduce errors, improve patient safety and support better patient outcomes by ensuring that each doctor has the most up-to-date and accurate patient medical history. One more benefit of maintaining electronic medical records is the possible uses for medical research. Submitted digital records can be used to accumulate and integrate patient records from geographically separate areas. This data can be compiled into a single database for medical research that encompasses patients from around the world at the click of a button. The monitoring and analysis of electronic medical records have the potential to make every patient a participant in a vast, ongoing clinical trial, pinpointing treatments and side effects that would otherwise be hard to discern.
题目
Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the specific theories discussed in the reading passage.
用户样本与评估结果
用户样本
The reading passage explores the issue of turning paper medical records and physical filling to electronic medical records, and several reasons are offered in support of this argument. However, in the listening passage the writer provides the opposite perspective and debates with the details. First of all, based on the reading passage the author presents that paper records produce tons of expenses includng paper, printer ink, and so on. Converting electronic medical records can reduce wasteful materials and increase savings of no pursue on these products, yet, the speaker believes that is a misconception. This is because lots of the doctors and nurses still use paper to mark and to scribble patient’s circumstances, which means to continue running and maintaining the hospital paper record is truely required. Secondly, the arguments held by the writer claim that electronic medical records can have a capacity to complete patient’s pass records to confirm in order to enhance doctors with each patient’s safety and better outcomes. Nevertheless, the lecturer points out an alternative explanation and refutes that electronic records still exist errors in the result of databases are maintain by human’s keying in system and writing on the papers. Moreover, lots of the doctors have illegible hand-writing can induce others misinterpret while adding new records. Last but not least, the article mentions that electronic records benefit researchers on collecting worldwide patient records to create a wider medical database. Nonetheless, the announcer suggests that large research records are protected by law which cause obstacle to access those properties, on the other hand, most of the patient’s records are personal and privately. Thus, researchers cannot be able to get comprehensive records and only obtain limit datas for medical research.
评估结果
1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯性和衔接: 3 语言使用: 3
2.预估分数
22. 3.任务完成度
整体来说，文章较好地回应了题目要求，总结了听力材料中的观点，并与阅读材料进行了对比。但是，有些句子表达不够清晰，需要改进。建议在写作时更加关注句子结构的准确性和表达的清晰度。
示例1： 原文：Converting electronic medical records can reduce wasteful materials and increase savings of no pursue on these products. 修改：Converting to electronic medical records can reduce the use of wasteful materials and increase savings by eliminating the need for these products.
示例2： 原文：Thus, researchers cannot be able to get comprehensive records and only obtain limit datas for medical research. 修改：Thus, researchers cannot obtain comprehensive records and are limited to a smaller amount of data for medical research.
4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构基本符合要求，包括引言、正文和结论。但是，在组织方面还有待提高。建议在写作时更加关注段落之间的逻辑关系和过渡词的使用，使文章更具连贯性。
示例1： 原文：First of all, based on the reading passage the author presents that paper records produce tons of expenses includng paper, printer ink, and so on. 修改：First of all, the reading passage argues that paper records produce significant expenses, including the cost of paper, printer ink, and so on.
示例2： 原文：Secondly, the arguments held by the writer claim that electronic medical records can have a capacity to complete patient’s pass records to confirm in order to enhance doctors with each patient’s safety and better outcomes. 修改：Secondly, the reading passage claims that electronic medical records can provide a more complete patient history, which would help doctors ensure patient safety and achieve better outcomes.
5. 语法批改
The reading passage explores the issue of turning paper medical records and physical filling to electronic medical records, and several reasons are offered in support of this argument. However, in the listening passagepassage,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) the writer provides the opposite perspective and debates with the details.
First of allFirst(first of all (first)), based on the reading passage the author presents that paper records produce tons of expenses includngincluding(misspelling) paper, printer ink, and so on. Converting electronic medical records can reduce wasteful materials and increase savings of no pursue on these products, yet, the speaker believes that is a misconception. This is because lots of the doctors and nurses still use paper to mark and to scribble patient’s circumstances, which means to continue running and maintaining the hospital paper record is truelytruly(misspelling) required.
Secondly, the arguments held by the writer claim that electronic medical records can have a capacity to complete patient’s pass records to confirm in order to enhance doctors with each patient’s safety and better outcomes. Nevertheless, the lecturer points out an alternative explanation and refutes that electronic records still exist errors in the result of databases are maintainmaintained(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) by human’s keying in system and writing on the papers. Moreover, lots of the doctors have illegible hand-writing can induce others misinterpretto misinterpret(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) while adding new records.
Last but not least, the article mentions that electronic records benefit researchers on collecting worldwide patient records to create a wider medical database. Nonetheless, the announcer suggests that large research records are protected by law which cause obstacle to access those properties, on the other hand, most of the patient’s records are personal and privately. Thus, researchers cannot be able to get comprehensive records and only obtain limit datasdata(misspelling) for medical research.
Section Title: 6.文章修订
The reading passage advocates for the transition from paper medical records and physical filing to electronic medical records, highlighting several benefits of this change. However, the listening passage presents a contrasting perspective, casting doubt on the specific points discussed in the reading.
Firstly, the reading passage argues that converting to electronic medical records would reduce expenses associated with paper, printer ink, and other materials. In contrast, the speaker in the listening passage contends that this is a misconception since doctors and nurses still rely on paper for note-taking and recording patient information. Consequently, maintaining paper records remains necessary for hospital operations.
Secondly, the reading passage claims that electronic medical records can provide a more complete and accurate patient history, leading to improved patient safety and better outcomes. Nevertheless, the lecturer offers an alternative explanation by pointing out that errors can still occur in electronic record systems due to human involvement in data entry and illegible handwriting from doctors. These factors could result in misinterpretations when updating records.
Lastly, the reading passage suggests that electronic records would benefit researchers by allowing them to collect global patient data for broader medical databases. However, the speaker refutes this idea by emphasizing that patient medical record privacy is protected by law, creating obstacles for accessing such information. Additionally, many patients may be unwilling to share their personal and sensitive data with researchers. As a result, researchers would only have access to limited data for their studies rather than a comprehensive pool of information. (252 words)
Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改
The reading passage explores the issue of turning advocates for the transition from paper medical records and physical filling filing to electronic medical records, and highlighting several reasons are offered in support benefits of this argument. change. However, in the listening passage the writer provides the opposite perspective and debates presents a contrasting perspective, casting doubt on the specific points discussed in the reading.
Firstly, the reading passage argues that converting to electronic medical records would reduce expenses associated with the details. ¶ First of all, based on the reading passage the author presents that paper records produce tons of expenses includng paper, printer ink, and so on. Converting electronic medical records can reduce wasteful other materials and increase savings of no pursue on these products, yet, (reason: clarity and conciseness). In contrast, the speaker believes that in the listening passage contends that this is a misconception. This is because lots of the misconception since doctors and nurses still use rely on paper to mark and to scribble patient’s circumstances, which means to continue running and for note-taking and recording patient information (reason: clarity). Consequently, maintaining the paper records remains necessary for hospital paper record is truely required. operations (reason: conciseness).
Secondly, the arguments held by the writer claim reading passage claims that electronic medical records can have a capacity to provide a more complete patient’s pass records to confirm in order to enhance doctors with each patient’s and accurate patient history, leading to improved patient safety and better outcomes. outcomes (reason: clarity). Nevertheless, the lecturer points out offers an alternative explanation and refutes that electronic records by pointing out that errors can still exist errors in the occur in electronic record systems due to human involvement in data entry and illegible handwriting from doctors (reason: clarity). These factors could result of databases are maintain by human’s keying in system and writing on the papers. Moreover, lots of the doctors have illegible hand-writing can induce others misinterpret while adding new records. in misinterpretations when updating records (reason: conciseness).
Last but not least, the article mentions that electronic records Lastly, the reading passage suggests that electronic records would benefit researchers on collecting worldwide patient records to create a wider medical database. Nonetheless, the announcer suggests that large research records are by allowing them to collect global patient data for broader medical databases (reason: clarity). However, the speaker refutes this idea by emphasizing that patient medical record privacy is protected by law which cause obstacle to (reason: specificity), creating obstacles for accessing such information. Additionally, many patients may be unwilling to share their personal and sensitive data with researchers (reason: clarity). As a result, researchers would only have access those properties, on the other hand, most to limited data for their studies rather than a comprehensive pool of the patient’s records are personal and privately. Thus, researchers cannot be able to get comprehensive records and only obtain limit datas for medical research.information (reason: conciseness).
8. Mind Map
- Introduction
- Reading passage: benefits of electronic medical records
- Listening passage: contrasting perspective
- Point 1: Expenses
- Reading: reduce expenses (paper, ink, etc.)
- Listening: still need paper for note-taking and patient info
- Point 2: Patient History and Safety
- Reading: more complete and accurate history, improved safety
- Listening: errors still occur (data entry, illegible handwriting)
- Point 3: Research Benefits
- Reading: global patient data for medical databases
- Listening: privacy laws and patient unwillingness limit data access
- Conclusion
- Summarize contrasting perspectives on electronic medical records
9. Keywords
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| advocate | /ˈædvəkət/ | verb | to publicly support or recommend a particular cause or policy | 提倡 | She advocates for the use of electronic medical records in hospitals. |
| misconception | /ˌmɪskənˈsɛpʃən/ | noun | a view or opinion that is incorrect because it is based on faulty thinking or understanding | 错误观念 | The belief that electronic records will eliminate paper usage is a misconception. |
| illegible | /ɪˈlɛdʒəb(ə)l/ | adjective | not clear enough to be read | 难以辨认的 | The doctor's handwriting was illegible, leading to errors in the patient's record. |
| misinterpretation | /ˌmɪsɪnˈtərprəˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ | noun | the act of interpreting something wrongly | 误解 | The misinterpretation of the doctor's notes caused confusion in the patient's treatment. |
| obstacle | /ˈɒbstək(ə)l/ | noun | a thing that blocks one's way or prevents or hinders progress | 障碍 | Privacy laws create an obstacle for researchers trying to access patient data. |
| comprehensive | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/ | adjective | complete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects | 全面的 | A comprehensive database would include medical records from patients worldwide. |
| refutes | /rɪˈfjut/ | verb | to prove (a statement or theory) to be wrong or false | 反驳 | The speaker refutes the idea that electronic records will significantly benefit researchers. |
| contrasting | /kənˈtræstɪŋ/ | adjective | strikingly different; showing a great difference | 对比鲜明的 | The listening passage presents a contrasting perspective on electronic medical records. |
| contend | /kənˈtend/ | verb | _to assert something as a position in an argument | _坚称 | The speaker contends that paper records are still necessary for hospital operations. |
| sensitive | /ˈsensətiv/ | _adjective | _easily damaged, injured, or distressed by slight changes | _敏感的 | Many patients may be unwilling to share their sensitive medical information with researchers. |
