TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific points made reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 22

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and addressing the specific requirements of the task. However, there is room for improvement in terms of clarity and precision. To enhance task fulfillment, consider providing more detailed explanations of the lecture's counterarguments and ensuring that each point is clearly connected to the corresponding theory from the reading passage.

Example 1: Original: "However, the lecture challenges this view, arguing that some marine animals still play when they don't receive surplus energy." Improved: "However, the lecture challenges this view by providing an example of young seals who still engage in play despite not having surplus energy due to their mothers being away hunting for food."

Example 2: Original: "But, the result of the experiment doesn't show that." Improved: "However, contrary to expectations, the results showed no significant difference in hunting skills between cats that were allowed to play and those that were not."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each theory, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point with supporting details from both reading and listening passages. Additionally, use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance cohesion.

Example 1: Original: "Firstly, the reading passage claims a theory called..." Improved: "The first theory presented in the reading passage is known as... This theory posits that... However, according to the lecture..."

Example 2: Original: "According to the final theory in the reading passage..." Improved: "Lastly, the third theory mentioned in the reading passage, known as the social functions theory, suggests that... In contrast, the lecture argues that..."

5. Grammar

The reading passage points putout(Detects potentially wrong usage of "put" instead of "out") three theories to explain why animal palyplay(misspelling), but all are contridictedcontradicted(misspelling) by the following lecture. Firstly, the reading passage claims a theory called the surplus energy theory. This theory maintains that some animals have to play to get rid of the surplus energy that they have not used. However, the lecture challenges this view, agruingarguing(misspelling) that some marine animals still play when they don't receive surplus energy. For example, when yonugyoung(misspelling) seals are waiting their mother for food, they are not fed to have energy suplussurplus(misspelling), but they also play during thisthese('this' vs. 'these') times. Secondly, the reading proposes seconda second(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) theory called the instinct-practice theory to show that young animals play as part of their physical education to let them master the skills they will need in order to hunt for food. In contrast, the lecture opposes that aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') experiment show that there is no difference in the skills. Scientists test two groups of cats to prove that. In the test,one, one(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) group of cats are allowed to palyplay(misspelling) and others are not allowed to play. Scientists think the playing cats will be more skillful than the cats that unable to palyplay(misspelling). But, the result of the experiment doesn't show that. According to the final theory in the reading passage, socallocal(misspelling) function theory, animals palyplay(misspelling) in order to establish social relationships. Yet the lecture disagrees, aurgingurging(misspelling) that although playing might help rats be socialable[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling) but, but(comma between independent clauses) it is not necessary. It is because rats only play when they waswere(Detects potentially wrong usage of "was") young, but they could still be able to develop their social functions after they become older and won't play anymore.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage presents three theories to explain why animals play, but the lecture contradicts each of these theories. Firstly, the reading passage introduces the surplus energy theory, which suggests that animals play to expend surplus energy they have not used. However, the lecture disputes this view by arguing that some marine animals, such as young seals waiting for their mothers to bring food, still play even when they do not have surplus energy.

Secondly, the reading proposes the instinct-practice theory, which posits that young animals play as part of their physical education to help them master skills needed for hunting food. In contrast, the lecture refutes this idea by presenting an experiment showing no difference in hunting skills between two groups of cats—one allowed to play and another not allowed to play. The results of this experiment did not support the hypothesis that playing cats would be more skillful hunters than non-playing cats.

Lastly, according to the social functions theory in the reading passage, animals play in order to establish social relationships within their group. Yet, the lecture disagrees with this notion by arguing that although playing might help rats socialize with one another, it is not necessary for developing social behavior. This is because rats only play when they are young but can still develop their social functions after they become older and no longer engage in play. (235 words)

The reading passage points put presents three theories to explain why animal paly, animals play, but all are contridicted by the following lecture. ¶ the lecture contradicts each of these theories (changed "contridicted" to "contradicts" for correct verb tense). Firstly, the reading passage claims a theory called introduces the surplus energy theory. This theory maintains that some theory, which suggests that animals have to play to get rid of the play to expend surplus energy that they have not used. used (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). However, the lecture challenges disputes this view, agruing view by arguing that some marine animals animals, such as young seals waiting for their mothers to bring food, still play even when they don't receive do not have surplus energy. For example, when yonug seals are waiting their mother for food, they are not fed to have energy suplus, but they also play during this times. (corrected grammar and sentence structure).

Secondly, the reading proposes second theory called the instinct-practice theory to show theory, which posits that young animals play as part of their physical education to let help them master the skills they will need in order to hunt for food. needed for hunting food (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). In contrast, the lecture opposes that a refutes this idea by presenting an experiment show that there is showing no difference in the skills. Scientists test hunting skills between two groups of cats to prove that. In the test,one group cats—one allowed to play and another not allowed to play (corrected grammar and sentence structure). The results of cats are allowed to paly and others are not allowed to play. Scientists think the this experiment did not support the hypothesis that playing cats will would be more skillful hunters than the non-playing cats that unable to paly. But, the result of the experiment doesn't show that. (rephrased for clarity).

According to the final Lastly, according to the social functions theory in the reading passage, socal function theory, animals paly play in order to establish social relationships. Yet relationships within their group (corrected "socal function theory" typo). Yet, the lecture disagrees, aurging disagrees with this notion by arguing that although playing might help rats be socialable but socialize with one another, it is not necessary. It necessary for developing social behavior (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). This is because rats only play when they was young, are young but they could can still be able to develop their social functions after they become older and won't play anymore.no longer engage in play (corrected grammar and sentence structure).

8. Mind Map

1. Surplus Energy Theory
   - Reading: Animals play to expend surplus energy
   - Lecture: Young seals play without surplus energy

2. Instinct-Practice Theory
   - Reading: Play helps animals master hunting skills
   - Lecture: Experiment shows no difference in hunting skills between playing and non-playing cats

3. Social Functions Theory
   - Reading: Animals play to establish social relationships
   - Lecture: Rats can develop social functions without play

9. Key Words

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