TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 1 Sample: summarize the point s made in the lecture, be insured to explain how t hey cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯性和衔接: 4 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章较好地完成了任务要求，阐述了听力中提到的观点，并与阅读部分进行了对比。但在语言表达方面还有待提高。建议在写作时注意词汇和句式的多样性，避免重复使用相同的词汇和表达。

示例1： 原文：But whether could employees last the healthy habits for a long time? That's not clear. 修改：However, it remains unclear whether employees can maintain these healthy habits in the long run.

示例2： 原文：Before the company could benefit from the productivity of their employees, people may leave from the previous work. 修改：Before the company can reap the benefits of increased employee productivity, workers may have already left for other job opportunities.

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个具体观点，并提供支持细节。然而，在段落之间的过渡方面还有待加强。建议在写作时注意使用恰当的过渡词或短语来连接不同段落和观点。

示例1： 原文：By contrast, the lecturer deputes the claim and points out that this method could only lead to immediate results. 修改：On the other hand, the lecturer disputes this claim, arguing that such incentives may only produce short-term results.

示例2： 原文：Contrary to the statement, the lecturer argues that it's not clear if the company could really save money. 修改：However, the lecturer contends that it is uncertain whether these programs actually result in long-term cost savings for companies.

5. 语法批改

In the reading passage, the author proposes three reasons to support the idea of wellness incentive. However, the lecturer challenges these statements by illustrating their flaws.

First of allFirst(first of all (first)), according to the passage, people in favor of the incentive believe that it provides the motivation for employees to start leading a healthy life. By contrast, the lecturer deputes the claim and points out that this method could only lead to immediate results. But whether could employees last the healthy habits for a long time? That's not clear. The research also found that in the longer period of two years, individuals tend to go back to their past ways, such as smoking. So it's not as impressive as the author mentions.

In addition, the statement put forward in the reading passage that this program seems fair for those who are healthier because they have lessfewer(fewer with countable nouns (less)) possibilities to fall illness, eliminating the need to submit insurance fee, is also counteracted by the lecture. He contends that there are some inevitable reasons for people who may not lead a healthy life. Some people have little time to exercise because they need to take care of children and parents. Some people are obesity due to the genetic determinants. Consequently, it's unfair for these people if they need to submit more insurance fees.

Lastly, the author asserts that compared to the less productivity due to the illness of employees, company could receive more benefits and save money in a long run, although they need to pay for the incentive programs at first. Contrary to the statement, the lecturer argues that it's not clear if the company could really save money. Nowadays, people are less likely to stay at one company singly for several years. Before the company could benefit from the productivity of their employees, people may leave from the previous work.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

In the reading passage, the author presents three arguments in favor of wellness incentive programs. However, the lecturer challenges these claims by highlighting their shortcomings.

Firstly, the passage asserts that incentive programs provide motivation for employees to adopt healthy lifestyles. In contrast, the lecturer disputes this claim, arguing that such programs may only yield immediate results. The long-term effectiveness of these incentives is unclear, as studies have shown that many individuals revert to their previous unhealthy habits after a two-year period. Thus, the benefits may not be as impressive as initially suggested.

Secondly, the reading passage posits that rewarding healthier individuals is fair since they are less likely to incur medical costs. The lecturer counters this argument by pointing out that some people face unavoidable obstacles in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. For instance, certain individuals may lack time for exercise due to family responsibilities or struggle with weight control due to genetic factors. Consequently, it would be unjust for these individuals to pay higher insurance fees or receive fewer vacation days.

Lastly, the author contends that companies can save money in the long run through wellness incentive programs despite initial costs. The lecturer refutes this claim by questioning whether companies truly benefit financially from such initiatives. In today's job market, employees often change companies before their employers can reap any financial rewards from improved health and productivity.

In conclusion, while wellness incentive programs may seem promising at first glance, the lecturer casts doubt on their efficacy and fairness by addressing potential flaws in each of the author's arguments. (261 words)

In the reading passage, the author proposes presents three arguments in favor of wellness incentive programs (changed "proposes three reasons to support the idea of wellness incentive. incentive" for clarity and conciseness). However, the lecturer challenges these statements claims by illustrating their flaws. highlighting their shortcomings (replaced "illustrating their flaws" with a more appropriate phrase).

First of all, according to the passage, people in favor of the Firstly, the passage asserts that incentive believe that it provides the programs provide motivation for employees to start leading a adopt healthy life. By lifestyles (rephrased for clarity). In contrast, the lecturer deputes the disputes this claim and points out that this method could (corrected "deputes" to "disputes"), arguing that such programs may only lead to yield immediate results. But whether could employees last the healthy The long-term effectiveness of these incentives is unclear, as studies have shown that many individuals revert to their previous unhealthy habits for after a long time? That's two-year period (restructured sentence for clarity and flow). Thus, the benefits may not clear. The research also found that in the longer period of two years, individuals tend to go back to their past ways, such as smoking. So it's not be as impressive as the author mentions. initially suggested.

In addition, the statement put forward in Secondly, the reading passage that posits that rewarding healthier individuals is fair since they are less likely to incur medical costs (rephrased for clarity and conciseness). The lecturer counters this program seems fair for those who are healthier because they have less possibilities to fall illness, eliminating the need to submit insurance fee, is also counteracted argument by the lecture. He contends that there are pointing out that some inevitable reasons for people who may not lead face unavoidable obstacles in maintaining a healthy life. Some people have little lifestyle. For instance, certain individuals may lack time to for exercise because they need to take care of children and parents. Some people are obesity due to the family responsibilities or struggle with weight control due to genetic determinants. factors (clarified examples). Consequently, it's unfair it would be unjust for these people if they need to submit more individuals to pay higher insurance fees. fees or receive fewer vacation days (added an example of potential unfairness).

Lastly, the author asserts that compared to the less productivity due to the illness of employees, company could receive more benefits and contends that companies can save money in a the long run, although they need to pay for the run through wellness incentive programs despite initial costs (rephrased for clarity). The lecturer refutes this claim by questioning whether companies truly benefit financially from such initiatives. In today's job market, employees often change companies before their employers can reap any financial rewards from improved health and productivity (clarified point).

In conclusion, while wellness incentive programs may seem promising at first. Contrary to the statement, the lecturer argues that it's not clear if the company could really save money. Nowadays, people are less likely to stay at one company singly for several years. Before the company could benefit from the productivity of their employees, people may leave from the previous work.first glance, the lecturer casts doubt on their efficacy and fairness by addressing potential flaws in each of the author's arguments (summarized main points).

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Wellness incentive programs
   - Author's support vs. lecturer's challenge

2. Motivation for healthy lifestyles
   - Author: Incentive programs motivate employees
   - Lecturer: Long-term effectiveness unclear, habits may revert

3. Fairness in rewarding healthier individuals
   - Author: Less medical costs, fair rewards
   - Lecturer: Unavoidable obstacles, unjust consequences

4. Company savings through wellness incentives
   - Author: Long-term savings despite initial costs
   - Lecturer: Employees changing companies, no financial benefits

5. Conclusion
   - Lecturer's doubts on efficacy and fairness of wellness incentive programs

9. Keywords