TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: Directions:You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response.Your response. will be judged on the basis of the qualit of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and their relationship to the reading passage.Typically,an effective response will be 150 to 225 words Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific arguments presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但在一些细节方面还有待改进。例如，在讨论每种方法时，可以更详细地解释听力中提到的反驳点。此外，在引用听力内容时，应确保准确无误。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. "However, the listening casts a doubt that although, it will not affect the mollusks, it will provide a dangerous ecosystem for local sea stars." 改为 "However, the listening argues that quicklime not only destroys invasive sea stars but also native ones, which are crucial for maintaining their local ecosystems."

2. "The reason is that these parasites will not totally destroy invasive sea stars’ reproduce system." 改为 "The reason is that these parasites do not completely destroy male Northern Pacific sea stars' reproductive systems."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要加强。虽然有明确的段落划分，但在引入和总结观点时缺乏清晰性。另外，段落内部的逻辑也需要加强，并使用恰当的过渡词汇。

改进建议示例（英文）：

1. 在文章开头添加一个简短的引言，如："The reading passage proposes three methods to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars, while the lecture challenges the effectiveness of these methods."

2. 在段落之间使用过渡词，如："Firstly" 改为 "First of all,"；"Additionally" 改为 "Moreover,"；"Last but not least" 改为 "Finally,"。

5. 语法批改

The reading and listening have a debate on the method to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. The reading proposed three ways, all of which is opposed by the listening.

Firstly, the reading maintains that quicklime: a poison powder that will only kill the invasive sea stars, but will not harm important mollusks would work. However, the listening casts a doubt that although, it will not affect the mollusks, it will provide a dangerous ecosystem for local sea stars. Because the quicklime will activeactivate(active vs activate) longa long(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) time in one area, it is critical for use in the sea. Moreover, when quicklime killed invasive sea stars, the local stars may be killed too. In other words, all of mentioned in the reading is problematic.

Additionally, the article claims that people could inject parasites into invasive sea stars that can limited their offsprings. In contrast, the lecture refuses that this strategy will not work. The reason is that these parasites will not totally destroy invasive sea stars’ reproduce system. They still can produce next generation will female sea stars which means that the parasites will not totally invade into sea stars’ body, and it will be not effective. In other words, the points article claims isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") not convincing.

Last but not least, the passage points out that use ships to treated their ballast water with chemicals before reading it in a different location will be worked. On the contrary, the professor refutes this method, because Ballastballast(Checks wrong uppercase spelling of words that are not proper nouns) water is not onlythe only(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) routes sea stars utilized to travel. Indeed, they could stick on any objects around them, and make them travel around. In other words, all of mentioned in the passage is wrong.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading and listening passages discuss methods to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. The reading suggests three approaches, each of which is challenged by the listening passage.

Firstly, the reading asserts that quicklime, a poisonous powder that kills invasive sea stars without harming important mollusks, would be effective. However, the listening casts doubt on this claim, arguing that while it may not affect mollusks, it creates a dangerous ecosystem for native sea stars. The quicklime remains active for a long time in one area and could potentially kill native sea stars as well. In other words, the claims made in the reading are problematic.

Additionally, the article proposes introducing parasites into invasive sea stars to limit their offspring. In contrast, the lecture contends that this strategy will not work because these parasites do not completely destroy the reproductive system of invasive sea stars. They can still produce offspring with female sea stars, meaning that the parasites will not effectively control their population growth. In other words, the points made in the article are unconvincing.

Lastly, the passage suggests that treating ships' ballast water with chemicals before releasing it in different locations would be effective in controlling sea star spread. On the contrary, the professor refutes this method because ballast water is not the only means by which sea stars travel. They can also attach themselves to various objects around them and be transported to new areas. In other words, all of the claims made in the passage are incorrect. (256 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The reading and listening have a passages debate on the method the methods to control the spread of invasive Northern Pacific sea stars. The reading proposed proposes three ways, all of which is are opposed by the listening. listening passage.

Firstly, the reading maintains that quicklime: quicklime, a poison poisonous powder that will only kill the invasive sea stars, but will not harm stars without harming important mollusks mollusks, would work. However, the listening casts a doubt that although, on this idea, arguing that although it will not affect the mollusks, it will provide creates a dangerous ecosystem for local sea stars. Because the stars (change "local" to "native" for consistency). This is because quicklime will remains active for a long time in one area, it is critical for use in the sea. Moreover, when quicklime killed invasive sea stars, the local stars may be killed too. area and could potentially harm native sea stars as well. In other words, all of mentioned the claims made in the reading is problematic. are problematic (change "mentioned" to "claims made" for clarity).

Additionally, the article claims suggests that people could inject parasites into invasive sea stars that can limited to limit their offsprings. offspring (change "offsprings" to "offspring" for correct plural form). In contrast, the lecture refuses that refutes this strategy will not work. as ineffective (change "refuses" to "refutes" for proper word choice). The reason is that these parasites will do not totally completely destroy invasive sea stars’ reproduce system. stars' reproductive systems (change "reproduce system" to "reproductive systems"). They can still can produce next generation will offspring with female sea stars stars, which means that the parasites will not totally invade fully control their population growth (change "invade into sea stars’ body, and it will be not effective. stars' body" to "control their population growth"). In other words, the points made in the article claims is not convincing. are unconvincing (change "claims" to "made").

Last but not least, Lastly, the passage points out that use ships to treated their treating ships' ballast water with chemicals before reading releasing it in a different location will locations would be worked. effective (change "reading it" to "releasing it"). On the contrary, the professor refutes disputes this method, method because Ballast ballast water is not the only routes sea stars utilized to travel. route sea stars use to travel (change "routes" to "route" and "utilized" to "use"). Indeed, they could stick on any can attach themselves to various objects around them, them and make be transported to new areas (change "make them travel around. around" to "be transported to new areas"). In other words, all of mentioned the claims made in the passage is wrong.are incorrect (change "mentioned" to "claims made").

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Reading and listening passages
   - Controlling invasive Northern Pacific sea stars

2. Quicklime
   - Reading: Effective method, doesn't harm mollusks
   - Listening: Dangerous for native sea stars, long-lasting effects

3. Introducing parasites
   - Reading: Limits offspring of invasive sea stars
   - Listening: Ineffective, sea stars can still reproduce with females

4. Treating ballast water with chemicals
   - Reading: Effective in controlling sea star spread
   - Listening: Sea stars can travel by attaching to objects, not just ballast water

5. Conclusion
   - Claims in the reading passage are problematic and unconvincing.

9. Keywords